Final Destination: HTF edition
by abstow89
Summary: When Death decides that it's time for the world to end, Flippy sees a graphic vision of it and realizes it will come true. It's up to him and his HTF buddies to stop Armageddon before it's too late!
1. BIOS

**Final Destination: HTF edition**

**A/N: After watching a blood-driven video on YouTube that showed nearly EVERY SINGLE DEATH in the show, I decided to make this HTF fanfic. It's about Death hunting down Flippy after he sees a vision of the world ending in horrific ways, including his own. Death and his cronies will stop at nothing to hunt down Flippy and will slaughter any HTF animal in its way!! Even if it means spawning horrible abominations from the bowels of Hell itself!**

**I made this page so you readers won't get lost in trying to figure out all the characters and can simply flip to this chapter if you forget someone. Due to the length of the new characters lists, I'll use up this whole chapter listing them all. Indeed, there are a shitload of new characters. **

**Rated M for intense accidents, horror, language, sexual situations, crude humor, violence, and, like always, blood and gore.**

**Spiky**

Age: Mid 40s

Sex: Male

Species: Porcupine

Skin color: Green

Brief summary: Flaky's father. Also, he's prone to toilet humor and has terrible foot odor.

**Robbo**

Age: 21

Sex: Male

Species: Raccoon

Skin color: Light and dark blue stripes

Brief summary: Lifty and Shifty's cousin. He's a little pudgy.

**Stinky**

Age: 18

Sex: Male

Species: Skunk

Skin color: Red and orange

Brief summary: Petunia's boyfriend. He sprays anyone in the face if he catches that person flirting with Petunia.

**Bucky**

Age: 13

Sex: Male

Species: Deer

Skin color: Black with yellow antlers; wears a red shirt

Brief summary: He's a tad bit sadistic.

**Eloise**

Age: ???

Sex: Female

Species: Bear

Skin color: Blue; wears camo-shirt

Brief summary: Flippy's sister. See Fridix95's profile for more info.

**Fally**

Age: 22

Sex: Male

Species: Rhino

Skin color: Green with yellow stripes

Brief summary: He falls a lot.

**Nak**

Age: 14

Sex: Female

Species: Chipmunk

Skin color: Purple; wears a blue shirt

Brief summary: Giggles' best friend.

**Bladz**

Age: 37

Sex: Male

Species: Alligator

Skin color: Green

Brief summary: Best friends with Jerry and shipmate of Russell. His breath smells horrible.

**Tarz**

Age: ???

Sex: Male

Species: ???

Skin color: Red; wears all black

Brief summary: Rumors swirl that he's a demon…

**Rhyme**

Age: Mid 20s

Sex: Male

Species: Deer

Skin color: Green

Breif summary: Mime's cousin who has an inner demon like Flippy. See Meowth's Toon Dragon's profile for more info.

**Rexar (c) RipRoarRex**

Age: Late 20s

Sex: Male

Species: T-rex/Anthrosaur (I'm serious)

Skin color: Red; torso is dark yellow/gold

Brief summary: He loves to torture and tease people (mostly Mike) with his stinky feet. He's also on a soccer team.

**A.J.A.X.**

Age: 39

Sex: Male

Species: Wolf

Skin color: Yellow

Brief summary: Can swim faster than an otter.

**Spice **

Age: ???

Sex: Female

Species: Ferret

Skin color: Brown

Brief summary: Shuger's sister. See ferretsrule700's profile for more info.

**Cassie (c) RipRoarRex**

Age: Early 20s

Sex: Female

Species: Dog

Skin color: Brown; wears pink blouse and blue shorts

Brief summary: Rocky's girlfriend.

**Wyger**

Age: 38

Sex: Male

Species: Badger

Skin color: Yellow; nose is blue; wears grey pants

Brief summary: An HTF officer who usually shows up during any crime and/or death.

**Jerry**

Age: 35

Sex: Male

Species: Wolf

Skin color: Black

Brief summary: Bladz's best friend and shipmate for Russell. Hygiene is the last thing on his mind.

**Shuger**

Age: ???

Sex: Female

Species: Ferret

Skin color: Black

Brief summary: Spice's sister. See ferretsrule700's profile for more info.

**Rocky (c) RipRoarRex**

Age: Mid 20s

Sex: Male

Species: Dog (Husky)

Skin color: Dark red; white underneath; wears blue jeans and gold medallion

Brief summary: Outgoing and loves being center of attention. He likes to prank his friend Mike, usually by making him smell his feet.

**Meth**

Age: ???

Sex: Male

Species: Bear

Skin color: White; Black hair; Red circles around eyes

Brief summary: He's an experiment created in a lab. See METHEREAPER's profile for more info.

**Nanette**

Age: ???

Sex: Female

Species: Cat

Skin color: White; Red hair; black circles around eyes

Brief summary: She's an experiment created in a lab. See METHEREAPER's profile for more info.

**Larko**

Age: 45

Sex: Male

Species: Snake

Skin color: Green; brown tail

Brief summary: Detached and semi-maniacal.

**Mike (c) RipRoarRex**

Age: Mid 20s

Sex: Male

Species: Dog (Spaniel)

Skin color: Light brown; wears green T-shirt and beige pants

Brief summary: Shy and secretly has a foot fetish. He's also Rocky's friend.

**Barzo**

Age: 46

Sex: Male

Species: Dog

Skin color: Black; yellow ears; blue nose

Brief summary: He has a foot fetish.

**Nappy**

Age: ???

Sex: Male

Species: Cat

Skin color: Blue; white belly

Brief summary: Likes to build and/or fix stuff with food. See Killer Raptor's profile for more info.

**Kyra**

Age: 19

Sex: Female

Species: Rabbit

Skin color: Silver; wears all black; cheeks have black spots

Brief summary: Cuddles' cousin. Very stubborn and likes to make people laugh. See AdoresAnime's profile for more info.

**Tevor**

Age: Mid 20s

Sex: Male

Species: Skunk

Skin color: Black and white

Brief summary: Petunia's older and overprotective brother. He hates all of Petunia's boyfriends (in this case, Stinky). See AdoresAnime's profile for more info.

**Perfect**

Age: ???

Sex: Female

Species: Squirrel

Skin color: Dark pink

Brief summary: Splendid's girlfriend. See Kitten630's profile for more info.

**Klatinavoka**

Age: 25

Sex: Male

Species: Snake

Skin color: Brown and black

Brief summary: Eastern European hitman…hitsnake.

**Death**

Age: ???

Sex: Male

Species: Um…skeleton?

Skin color: ???

Brief summary: He's the guy who causes those "bizarre accidents" in the story. He's also the main antagonist. (Or is he???)

**Dazer **

Age: 33

Sex: Male

Species: Badger

Skin color: Red; nose is black

Brief summary: Australian badger who works for news station. Has twin sister named Masher.

**Masher**

Age: 33

Sex: Female

Species: Badger

Skin color: Red; nose is black

Brief summary: Australian badger who works for news station. Has twin brother named Dazer.

**Salty the One-Eyed Otter**

Age: 44

Sex: Male

Species: …Let's go with otter

Skin color: Black; wears yellow overalls and boots; wears eye patch

Brief summary: Russell's shipmate and best friend. His breath and fur reek of squid. Also, he has **ONE EYE!**

**T.J. Wiliker**

Age: 20

Sex: Male

Species: Bear

Skin color: Black; wears brown shirt

Brief summary: Flippy's buddy who works at a firefighter station.

**Francis**

Age: 18

Sex: Female

Species: Lemur

Skin color: Blue with tan stripes on tail

Brief summary: Loves eating cheese and is Flaky's friend.

**K-Zar**

Age: 36

Sex: Male

Species: Orangutan

Skin color: Brown; wears black shorts and dirty socks

Brief summary: Like his friend Spiky, he has smelly feet and likes toilet humor.

**Omane**

Age: 17

Sex: Female

Species: Fox

Skin color: Green; tail color is grey

Brief summary: Flippy's ex-girlfriend.

**A/N: Okay, I think that's all of them. Chances are, there's gonna be 10 times this many, but these are the main and secondary characters so this should be good for now. Actual story has now been published. :)**


	2. SCREAM part 1

**SCREAM part 1**

**A/N: Well, here's the first chapter of the story. It all starts out with Flippy and his friends going on a vacation and getting stuck on a bridge due to traffic. Then the bridge begins to collapse and that's when things get all…crazy… **

**Also, I just wanna add a few thank yous to some other HTF writers for letting me borrow some of their OCs:**

**METHEREAPER for letting me use Meth and Nanette.**

**Ferretsrule700 for letting me use Shuger and Spice.**

**Killer Raptor for letting me use Nappy.**

**Kitten630 for letting me use Perfect.**

**And AdoresAnime for letting me use Tevor and Kyra **

It was approximately 2:07 p.m. near the edge of the HTF village and dozens of vehicles were traveling along the bridge that lead to the country road and into the city. Everyone was heading into town to go sight seeing and partying after the mayor built a whole supply of new buildings and tourist attractions, like the HTF Park for example and the International Airport. The sun was shining and it was very hot on a day like today, but it was also a perfect day for adventure. That's why Flippy ans some of his pals had decided to go to the city for some of their own enjoyment. That's right…Flippy was going along with friends and was NOT going to flip out.

After the little incident at the carnival, Flippy found a way to control his inner demon self without causing any harm to his loved ones and friends so everything was perfect right now. He was in an orange and yellow van with three other animals. One of them was a black bear wearing a brown shirt. His name was T.J. Wiliker and he was famous for rescuing hundreds of animals from deadly fires within the HTF village. Another character located within the van was a bulky and stout rhino with green and yellow stripes all over his body named Fally. His parents should've named him Clumsy because he couldn't walk down a sidewalk without tripping over his own feet at least once. No one was sure why he was so unstable, but they just made sure they weren't in front of or behind him when he fell…for obvious reasons. The last person in the car was Sherry, who was a blue rhino with relation to Fally. Everyone was saying that they were dating each other or were even married, but no one ever confirmed this fact yet so everybody was clueless.

Right now, the van was driving along the road leading over to the red bridge made of ten different types of metals and even brick for a little more sturdiness. The music was blaring in the van loud enough to break the windows of the other cars, especially since they were listening to this hardcore metal song. And the noise level was gradually rising due to T.J. and Flippy screeching the song at the top of their lungs.

"Cherishiiiing, those feelings pleasuriiiiing!!!" sang Flippy.

"Cover meeeeee, unwanted clemen-caaaaaayy!!!" sang T.J.

Then both bears began to sing in unison:

"Scream till there's silence!"

"Scream while there's life left!"

"VAAAAAANISHIIIIIING!!!"

"Scream from the pleasure!"

"Unmask your desire!"

"PEEEERRRIIIISHIIIIINGG!!"

"God I love this song!! What's it called?" asked T.J.

"Gee, what are we doing right now T.J.?" asked Flippy.

"Um…screaming?"

"There ya go!"

"They named a song called 'Scream'?" asked Sherry.

"Finally! Someone made a song that explains what you gotta do to get someone's attention!" said Fally.

"Fally, your name's Fally and you smoke a pound of pot everyday. You already got enough attention as it is." said T.J.

Fally raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Who cares what it means?! We're going to the city baby! H-T-F!!"

"…I think all that smoke is getting to your head T.J." laughed Flippy.

"Says the schizophrenic bear who murders anyone when he flips out!"

"I told you: I handled him already! You won't be seeing anymore of that guy ever again!"

"Really?" asked Fally.

"Yeah."

"Then who's that menacing green bear with spiky teeth laughing in the rearview mirror?"

Flippy glanced up to see his "other side" laughing at him evilly with a wicked smile on his face and a knife in his hand. Flippy growled and quickly ripped the rearview mirror from the roof of the car, stuffing it into his mouth.

"What rearview mirror?"

"The one you just put in your mouth."

Flippy gulped so hard that he almost choked on the mirror. He exhaled heavily and said, "What thing I just put in my mouth?"

"…Nothing."

That's when the van screeched to a halt right behind a small blue sedan with another HTF animal inside. Flippy and his pals were now on the bridge and sadly, in the middle of a pile up. There were at least 60+ vehicles on this one bridge alone, as it was over two miles long in length. In fact, it even had a bridge that transported the tunnel on the right side of the structure.

"Damnit."

T.J. honked the horn twice and shouted out, "MOVE YOUR ASS!!" to the driver of the blue sedan. The animal of the blue sedan merely replied by hoisting his middle finger. T.J. grumbled to himself and sighed heavily.

"Guess we're stuck here." said Fally.

"No shit Sherlock. It took you that long to figure it out?"

"Well since we're stuck here, how's about we talk about what we're gonna do while we're in the city." suggested Sherry.

"It's gonna be so awesome man! I'm gonna go to that All-You-Can-Eat buffet down at The Burro. A couple friends of mine placed a bet saying I can close the place down in one day." said T.J.

"I'm gonna go check out the natural museum and go sight-seeing and stuff. I hear my dad got a new job there so maybe I can meet up with him and say high." said Sherry.

"What about you Fally?" asked Flippy.

"I got five bags of pot in the trunk. Whatcha think I'm gonna do?"

Everybody groaned loudly.

"Please tell me you didn't go on this road trip just to smoke some pot in a hotel."

"I got friends coming along!"

"And you're all gonna meet up in a motel to have a smoke off?" asked T.J.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"That's real eventful…" laughed Flippy.

"See, this is why you're not getting any of my fuckin' weed Flip."

"I stopped smoking a while back; the fumes were getting to me."

"So if I started smoking right now, you wouldn't care?"

"No."

"Cool."

Fally put a joint up to his mouth and set it ablaze with one of his lighters. He inhaled deeply and started to cough violently when the fumes began to fill up the van. Flippy and Sherry began to cough as well, not wanting to get high before they even got to the city.

"See? It's totally safe dude!!" coughed Fally.

"Damnit Fally, put that out!" demanded Sherry.

"What for?"

"There's a fuckin' cop car right next to us!"

Fally muttered "Oh shit." before he set his bag of weed on fire and chucked it at the cop car. The animal police officer was minding his own business when the flaming pile of drugs landed right on his windshield. Instead of getting out of the car and arresting Fally and the others, he yelled out, "OH SHIT!!" and started whacking the bag with his hat, spreading the drugs all over his car. He veered his head back inside and activated the sprinklers in his car so he could wash the residue away. But the weed simply spread itself all over his windshield, covering it in green and black muck.

"…My boss is going to kill me…" he said to himself.

Back in the van, Fally was sitting in the van whistling to himself casually, looking away from the cop car.

"See? Problem solved."

However, the van was still smoky, so Flippy decided to open the door and take a short walk outside to air out his lungs.

"Hey! Where you goin' Flips?"

"I'll be back in a few minutes." said Flippy, with red eyes.

Flippy then proceeded to walk along the bridge slowly, trying to enjoy the moment. He was going to the city to have a great time on a perfect day. The sun was heating up his body and feeling his heart with joy; he even stopped walking to gaze at the narrow river and canyon that was underneath the bridge. He smiled to himself and began to rest against the railing of the bridge, nearly falling into the canyon when a bar broke off the bridge and he almost leaned over the edge. Flippy sighed with relief and continued to walk forward, encountering a black car with a guitar symbol on it and rock music blaring from the speakers.

"Hey Flippy! FLIPPY!!" shouted one of the occupants.

Flippy ran onto the road and looked into the car to see a bright white bear with black hair, wearing a dark black shirt. It was Meth.

"Cool! You're going to the city too Meth?"

"Yeah, we got this gig to play for the HTF mayor himself!"

"Nice! Where's your little girlfriend Nanette?"

Meth shrugged. "Dunno. I heard she was with some other rock band in Liberty City."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. Omane broke up with me after she realized what I was. Y'know, with the flipping out issue."

"We all got secrets we don't wanna share. Sometimes it's best we don't talk about personal conflicts in our past…" said Meth with his voice trailing off.

That's when Flippy heard a loud snap from up above, followed by two low groans and a clank.

"What the…"

He turned his head left and right but found nothing out of the ordinary. But then, he heard another snap and something began to groan metallically, as though someone was bending a thick bar of metal. He continued to stand there, waiting for the loud noises to cease, but for some odd reason, it was only growing louder. Meth suddenly screamed and gunned his car backwards, but couldn't do anything because he rear ended the truck behind him. Flippy looked down to notice a giant shadow growing beneath his feet and he looked straight ahead to see a thick cylindrical wire made of metal and copper falling right towards him. Flippy screamed and rolled out of the way when it swooped on the bridge like the minute hand on a clock. The wire landed with a booming crash and hurled Flippy's body over to another car, prompting the driver to get outside and look at what happened.

The wire landed directly on top of Meth's car, which explained all the glass and metal…and blood on the road. In fact, it landed right on the windshield and killed Meth and the passenger almost instantly; all Flippy could recognize was an arm hanging through the crushed window limply. Flippy could only stare at the wreckage in pain…and anger. No, it wasn't pain at all, it was strictly anger. He started to breathe heavily and his inner demon began to come out. Flippy immediately slapped himself repeatedly before "he" came out and shook his head, returning to the van. But as he got back, his teeth became pointy and he laughed evilly. Flippy banged his head on the side of the van several times until his nose was bleeding and he was resting on the road of the bridge, looking up at the beams supporting the bridge.

"Flippy, you alright buddy? That cable almost turned you into a bear patty!" said T.J., jumping out of the van.

Flippy groaned to himself and rubbed his bloody head before he stood up and looked into the mirror on the door of the car. At first, he was looking at himself, but his vision soon grew spiky teeth that formed a malicious smile with anger in its eyes. It was his demon again.

"**Hello Flippy."** growled the evil bear twin.

"NO!!" No, you're not supposed to be here!! I killed you and all of your evil clones!"

"**No Flippy…you sent me to Hell. And now that Hell's about to take over this world…I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!"**

Flippy's demon jumped through the mirror and attacked Flippy by trying to stab him with a knife. However, Fally intervened by charging (and falling) on the homicidal green bear. Flippy, T.J., and Sherry ran away from the van screaming. Today was not the day to try and kill a demon like Flippy, so they just decided to cut and run.

"Come on! There's a sheriff station back in town! It's not too far from here!" said Sherry.

Unfortunately for Sherry, as she began to run back into town, a massive support beam that began the section of the bridge snapped and began to free fall right to the starting point of the bridge.

"SHERRY!!" screamed Flippy and T.J.

It was too late for her to do anything. The second she looked up, she, and several other HTF pedestrians were flattened like pancakes, blood squirting in all directions. Flippy and T.J. tried to climb over the rod, but more support beams began to snap and fall onto the wreckage and only made the pile higher. To their left was an enormous pile of metal blocking their way to safety, and to their right was a homicidal bear/demon who was slowly gutting his way through a green rhino, laughing menacingly. And if that wasn't bad enough, the two bears looked up to see that the sky was slowly turning grey and it was getting dark…very dark.

"**Heh heh heh!! It's starting…" **laughed Flippy's demon.

"What's starting you homicidal son of a bitch?!" demanded T.J.

That's when the bridge shook violently and a stream of smoke erupted from cracks in the road. Cars began to roll forward as though they were falling down a slope. In fact, that's exactly what was happening. The wires supporting the other side of the bridge that led to the tunnel had snapped and the bridge was slowly leaning at a 10 or 20 degree angle. People began to swarm out of their cars and panic as more and more support beams and cables began to fall to the road like a trail of dominoes, waiting to crush anyone underneath them. Flippy and T.J. began to run forward when the car in front of them was crushed by a support beam, spewing glass in a beaver's face. Flippy gasped dramatically when the beaver turned out to be Toothy and rushed to his aid.

"What are you doing Flippy?! We gotta get the fuck off this bridge!"

But Flippy still stayed true to his war code: No man gets left behind. Toothy was a friend of his and he was going to save him no matter what. Besides, he already lost two of his friends in the carnage…he didn't need to lose anymore. Flippy grunted with effort as he picked up the wounded beaver and started to run along the bridge with his body on his back.

"Thank you Flippy!" said Toothy, weakly.

"No problem!"

Toothy gasped dramatically and shouted, "Watch out!!" while pointing to his left. A thin wire connecting the upper support beam and the rails on the bridge snapped. Due to all the pressure, the wire fell to the ground at lightning speed and acted as a knife, severing anybody who was caught in the path.

"WHEW!! That was a close one, eh Toothy? …Toothy?"

Flippy turned around and was stunned to see that the wire sliced half of Toothy's head off and he was bleeding like a water faucet. Flippy dropped the body and began to run alongside T.J. It was around this time where Flippy saw his demon running right towards them…with another victim's head in his hand. Both of them screamed and began to run as hard and as fast as they could before the demon reached them, but things continue to go wrong. For example, a tanker's horn honked behind them and it turns out that the driver's head had been crushed with a blunt metal object while his foot was on the accelerator. So the truck gunned itself forward and inadvertently aimed for both bears. T.J. pushed Flippy out of the way and was hit with full force by the tanker. Normally, he'd simply get run over or would be dragged by the massive truck, but the second the truck smashed into T.J., his body was thrown into the grill. All of his blood and organs showered the metal and dead flies with a red sticky liquid as the tanker continued to roll down the collapsing bridge.

"T.J.!!" screamed Flippy.

Just then, Flippy saw a long hose dragging behind the tanker, spilling out diesel fuel all over the place. The tanker crashed and the gas began to splatter all over the pile-up and the retreating pedestrians. Lumpy noticed the wreckage and tried to control the hose, but the second he grabbed it, it began to thrash like a dog's tail and he was thrown off the bridge, screaming to his deaths thousands of feet below. Flippy suddenly couldn't move. He was supposed to move in order to survive this "episode" and yet…he couldn't. All the blood and bodies, the reeking odor of the gasoline and the deceased, the blood-curdling shrieks and groans…it was just too much for him.

Now would be a perfect time to flip out, but he can't because his flipped-out Flippy was already out, killing people. His subconscious being had exited his body and now, there was nothing he could do. At least, not until he looked up and saw a heroic blue squirrel with a cape on, hovering above the chaos. It was Splendid.

"Have no fear! Splendid is here!!" said Splendid, heroically.

"Just shut up and save us already! If my calculations are correct, the bridge will collapse in a few minutes!" demanded Sniffles.

"Fine. You don't have to be so damn touchy about it." mumbled Splendid.

So Splendid swooped down to the bridge and grabbed Sniffles with his strong hands. He then proceeded to save another helpless civilian before he was crushed underneath a falling metal wire. Since Splendid couldn't carry both pedestrians at the same time, he placed Sniffles on the top of the bridge and let him sit there for a little while, away from the falling debris. Splendid then zoomed to the pedestrian about to get flattened by the wire, when Flippy's demon threw a knife at his chest. Splendid wasn't hurt, but the force of the knife hurled him to the ground and he was unable to save the civilian and was forced to watch him get squashed.

"**Come and get me hero!" **taunted the evil Flippy.

Sniffles began to walk along the metal path on the bridge when a huge section of it was knocked loose and Sniffles lost his footing. He screamed loudly as he fell down the bridge, knowing he'd suffer the same fate as Lumpy. But he was in luck today, because he was able to grab the wires hanging from the side of the bridge. Well…not really; his _neck _grabbed the wires. In other words, he was getting strangled in mid-air.

"Help…help…" said Sniffles in a strained voice.

Flippy broke out of his trance and ran to the anteater, only to scream when his body fell down into the river…minus his head. There was so much pressure exerted on his throat that the wires broke through the skin and meat and cut his head clean off. Meanwhile, Splendid was kicking the crap outta Flippy's demon, punching him in the face repeatedly and throwing him into cars. Splendid ended the fight by zapping the demonic bear with his heat vision and charring his body until it was black like coal. Flippy's demon moaned loudly and fell down on his face, unconscious.

"Well, he's dead! Who else needs saving by the valiant Splendid?"

Splendid turned to his right and saw the hose spraying gas all over the place. He flew over to the tanker and (no one has any idea why) put his mouth on the hose, swallowing the gas. He thought the best thing to do was suck out all the gas first instead of cleaning it up…at least that's what everybody else thought. Anyways, the gas began to fill Splendid's stomach until he was bloated like a sack full of jelly, or when flaky eats peanuts. After swallowing numerous galloons of fuel, Splendid let go of the hose and fell backwards, vomiting up some of the gas. Flippy's demon abruptly showed up from nowhere…with a lighter in his hand.

"Don't you dare!" demanded Splendid.

Flippy's demon ignored him and laughed, throwing the flame-lit lighter onto a trail of gas that leads to Splendid's mouth. Flippy's demon quickly ran away and watched as Splendid and the tanker exploded and his organs and guts flew into the air, raining down upon the civilians.

"This can't be happening!" said Flippy, shutting his eyes and holding his ears.

It was happening. All these people were dying right before his eyes and there was nothing he could do about. And it was only going to get worse. A train's horn could be heard throughout all the turmoil and by the sounds of it, it wasn't going to stop in time. The train was going to jerk off the tracks and derail. Hell, it could make the bridge situation even worse if it knocked the supporting structures out of place. Flippy, with no other option, ran back to where Sherry died in an attempt to climb the wreckage. But he was too little too late and he saw the train appear from the tunnels. The train instantly derailed and the engine slouched over to its side, making a horrifying screeching noise. Then the car behind that one derailed and another and another; it wouldn't stop. The train was colliding with one another, crumbling into the support bars on the bridge and knocking them out of place. All of the wires instantly snapped and the metal bars and cables hanging at the peak of the bridge groaned loudly and they fell onto the bridge. Just the noise of them impacting the concrete and cars could scare someone shitless. (No, seriously; someone on the bridge shit their pants). The vibration cracked some of their teeth and the force propelled their bodies high into the air like they were bouncing on a trampoline. Except, when they fell back down, they got hurt. Flippy whimpered and slowly stood up after the fall cracked one of his bones in his right leg.

Flippy began to slide backwards as the bridge slowly groaned and fell so far that it was hanging from the road like a drop of water hanging off a stalactite. In other words, it was hanging at a 90 degree angle. The only reason why Flippy was still alive was because he was hanging onto a blunt metal object sticking out of the bridge. Everybody on board the train either fell to their doom or was hanging on the bridge as well. Rocks and metal were falling past his head, narrowly hitting him and plunging him into the river. Suddenly, a silver bunny wearing almost all black grabbed hold of Flippy's foot, hanging on for dear life. Flippy looked down and saw the bunny just in time for Petunia to appear falling out of nowhere and grab onto his other foot.

"This can't possibly get any worse!" cried Flippy.

But after he said that, the impossible happened. The ground below him began to rumble and swirl around like a toilet when it starts to flush. All the trees and rocks and even the river were getting sucked into the center of the swirl that was gradually turning black. About a minute later, the ground exploded and the ground turned into a hole…a hole that was gigantic in diameter and had teeth on the side of the hole. Then these slimy saliva covered…pink tentacles came out by the dozen, waiting for something to get close to them so that they could suck their victim into the hole.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!?" screamed Flippy.

Whatever it was, it wasn't a hole at all (especially since it was growling and roaring). Flippy looked up to see that the sky was red and filled with black clouds. Something very ominous was about to happen…

"Come on! We have to get back up!" coaxed Flippy.

So all three animals began to climb up the broken down bridge, latching from metal object to metal when they saw Flippy's evil self laughing like a maniac with drool seeping out his mouth.

"**It's coming!! HA HA HA HA!!! HE IS COMING!!!"**

Flippy didn't know what to do now. He had two choices at the moment: He could continue to climb up or he could climb (or fall) down.

Either option he picked would result in death.

**To be continued…**


	3. SCREAM part 2

**SCREAM part 2**

**A/N: Okay, I'm finally out of my procrastination trance so this chapter is now public for you all to see.**

**Also wanna thank Meowth's Toon Dragon for letting me use the character Rhyme, who will appear in the next chapter. **

It was a beautiful day in the countryside of the HTF community as a train quickly zoomed its way along the tracks, the wheels rumbling as it vibrated on the steel. The time was around 2:10 p.m. and everything was all sunshine and singing birds. Everything was calm and nothing was in the background besides a field of cacti and sand everywhere. The train was returning to the HTF village after an eventful week of playtime in the city. This train was blue and had a long white stripe on the side of it. The total capacity was roughly around 300 or so passengers and over 200 tons of cargo…and it was filled to the brim. Many of the people traveling to the HTF village were newcomers probably focused on buying a house or taking time off their job to go rest there. Some of these people were Stinky, Tevor, K-Zar, Kyra, Nak, and many, many others.

Speaking on newcomers, Lifty and Shifty were dragging along one of their cousins for another attempt to earn some cash and hopefully get away with it unscathed. But this was at least their 30th try and the last 29 times, they wound up dead. But hey, maybe today would be their lucky day. Anyway, their cousin's name was Robbo, and unlike Lifty and Shifty, he was blue with light blue stripes. He was also a tad bit fatter than his cousins, but it was more of a beer gut fat, not obese fat. He and his twin cousins were hiding in a metal container banging on the lid which sealed them inside. They weren't supposed to get out so early and were actually planning on getting out at night, but one of the cousins screwed up the plan…

"Damnit Robbo, how many times did I tell you not to fart while we're on the job?!" shouted Shifty.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who ate nacho flavored chili when we left _Lifty_!"

The three raccoons gasped for air when they finally broke open the lid.

"So I let one go in the crate! What would you do if you were bloated and it felt like you were gonna explode?!" asked Lifty.

"Drink Pepto-Bismol."

"Shut up Robbo."

The three raccoons hopped out the crate and began to examine the entire luggage around them, wondering which package they should search first.

"So which box you wanna search first?" asked Shifty.

"Gee, I dunno. Maybe the one that's shaped like a treasure chest?" said Lifty.

"You don't have to be a smart-ass Lifty."

"Will you guys stop arguing for one second and help me get this thing open?!" asked Robbo, who was prying open a crate with a large crowbar.

Shifty ran over to his blue cousin and the two of them began to pry open the golden crate full of…gold.

"Almost…THERE!!" yelled Shifty.

The two raccoons successfully pried the crate open with the crowbar, inadvertently throwing it behind them.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" howled Lifty.

Lifty was screaming and crying while trying to yank the crowbar that Robbo and Shifty dropped out of his eye. And to make things worse, it was the curved end used for prying that impaled him, so it kinda jolted his skull out of proportion.

"DON'T DO THAT!! YOU'LL SCRAMBLE YOUR BRAIN!!" warned Robbo.

Shifty stopped yanking on the crowbar and left Lifty to sit down and whine in pain, with blood pouring out his eyehole.

"What am I supposed to do then?!" demanded Shifty.

"How the hell should I know? Just…just go ask the conductor for help! Maybe he should know."

"We're trying to rob the train jack-ass! What do you want me to say? 'Hey, can you help out my brother here? I accidentally impaled him in the face while trying to rob your train. Also, gimme your wallet or I'll shank ya.'"

* * *

Meanwhile, Stinky and Petunia were sitting near the window in one of the train cars talking to each other, ignoring the fact that Disco Bear was sitting right behind them, dancing in his own disco world as he listened to his disco music.

"Look Petunia…there's this important question I gotta ask you…" said Stinky, scratching the back of his head.

"What? You wanna go in the bathroom and make out?"

"No."

"You wanna have sex?" said Petunia, sliding her finger near Stinky's genitals.

"…No, but we should."

Petunia gasped dramatically. "Oh my gosh! You…you wanna get married?!"

"NO!!"

"…Oh." said Petunia, dejectedly.

"I was gonna ask why your brother is hiding in the baggage compartment in the aisle."

Petunia and Stinky veered their heads left and saw a baggage compartment opened up slightly with two eyes peering at the couple. Tevor decided to hide in a secure location of the train to look out for his adolescent sister in case Stinky tried to do anything wrong to Petunia…in Tevor's case, rape.

"Pay no attention to the eyes that are staring at you. I am merely here for your protection." said Tevor.

"We get it Tevor! You hate my boyfriend and will stop at nothing to prevent us from dating each other!"

"That's not true! I haven't tried to kill your boyfriend yet!"

"Really? Then how come I almost got sucked into a woodchipper last Tuesday?"

"Your tail got caught in it. How's that my fault?"

"You hurled my body right at it Tevor!!"

"…Oh, yeah."

That's when Disco Bear overheard the conversation and decided to butt in.

"Hey sexy! What's shakin'?"

Everybody groaned loudly and rolled their eyes, still baffled at the fact the Disco Bear still flirted with Petunia and several other female HTF animals like it was nothing.

"No Disco Bear! I don't want to have sex with you! I didn't want to have sex with you yesterday; I didn't want to have sex with you last week. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!"

"Aw, come on! You don't really mean baby! Let me just give you a kiss so you can see what I mean--"

Disco Bear started to pucker up his lips and began smacking them right next to Stinky and Tevor. Tevor and Stinky made a fist and quickly turned around to lift their tails. Disco Bear screamed in pain when Stinky and Tevor sprayed him in the face with skunk oil, blinding him and making him smell like rotten eggs and sulfur.

"What the hell is your problem yo?!!" screamed Disco Bear.

But Stinky and Tevor ignored the disco loving bear and sprayed him in the eyes yet again, making him roll around on the floor screaming in pain. Disco Bear, knowing he'd rather smell fresh instead of funky to attract women, retreated to the bathroom with a can of tomato sauce so he could wash himself off. Meanwhile, a gray bunny who was wearing all black was talking to someone on the phone, holding her nose after Disco Bear ran past her seat.

"…anyways, your trip can't be that bad Cuddles. Besides, I thought you liked traveling on the sea?"

"I like traveling on yachts and fancy-shamncy cruises, not a goddamn pirate ship Kyra!"

"How bad can it be? At least you don't have a bear running around smelling like sulfur juice."

"Do you wake up in the morning by bonking your head on the bunk-bed?"

"No."

"Well, I do! Even when I know that I'm not supposed to jolt my head up, that's the only thing I can do when there's an alarm clock blaring in my ear at five in the morning."

Kyra laughed. "The captain makes you wake up at five in the morning?"

"Yeah. We were supposed to head straight home to the HTF village, but ironically, this guy Russell convinced the captain to collect this contract to go import exotic fish, so we've been fishing for the past two weeks."

"Wow. You wake up at five and have to fish. That is so horrible Cuddles." said Kyra flatly.

"I'm not finished yet! I haven't even gotten to the smell yet! It stinks on this ship!"

"What'd you expect? You got a bunch of fish stored in the cargo hold. Wouldn't you expect it to be a little smelly?"

"My cabin mate always eats squid! You seriously think I wanna wake up smelling an otter's smelly squid breath? And on top of that, some of the fish is just lying on the deck for people to step in. I had to burn my slippers after I stepped in fish guts!"

"Okay, so it smells like fish, your cabin mate reeks, and you're barefoot. I still don't see the problem here."

"A couple of the bathrooms don't even have doors! I had to wear a gasmask when I walking past a wolf taking a shit downstairs! How do pirates even stand this smell?!"

"Okay, it smells like fish and shit, you're walking around barefoot, and your cabin mate has bad breath. I still don't see the problem."

"Did I mention some of the pirates like to stab people for fun? Like, not killing stab, just stab-stab?"

Kyra sighed heavily.

* * *

Back in the second-to-last train car, Flaky was sitting with her father who was sitting adjacent from his orangutan friend, K-Zar. All three of them were sitting near the front row eating their meals at the time. K-Zar and Spiky were eating a few tacos with hot sauce in them while Flaky was eating a garden salad with ranch dressing. Also, a movie was playing in the front row named Shrek 2, one of Spiky's favorites.

"So how'd you like the Red Beavers game Flaky?" asked spiky.

"It was so cool Dad! I even caught the winning ball! I caught it in my mouth and almost choked to death, but who cares!" said Flaky, tossing up the winning ball.

"Heh heh! Yeah…"

Suddenly, K-Zar grumbled to himself and threw his soda bottle at the flat-screen TV.

"Oh, come on! When's it gonna get to the good part!!?" demanded the orangutan.

"Just wait a few seconds! They're about to show it." said Spiky.

Spiky and K-Zar veered to the edge of their seats, watching the motion picture with anticipation. It was on the part of the movie right after Shrek drank the magic potion and his stomach was gurgling. After a few seconds, Shrek farted for a few seconds and Donkey and Puss-in-Boots made a vulgar comment about the smell. Spiky and K-Zar started laughing their asses off.

"THAT WAS SO FUNNY!!! I LOVE IT!!" laughed Spiky.

"Yeah, Dad, just like the other 10,780 times we saw it." sighed Flaky.

Flaky admired her father and loved him with all her heart, but he always thought he was a little immature at times. The guy was over 40 and yet he still laughed at common jokes about toilet humor.

"Yeah! Remember the part when he went like," started K-Zar.

Both of them stuck their tongues out made a raspberry noise, which sounded like, "PBBBBTTTTTHHH!!!" followed by raucous laughter.

"Shrek is so awesome!" said K-Zar.

"I know, right?"

That's when the tacos Spiky and K-Zar ate began to react with the colon and their stomach began to grumble. Spiky and K-Zar looked at each other with conniving smiles on their faces and laughed once again. Flaky already knew that look from anywhere, so she rolled her eyes and got out of her chair.

"I'll go get the clothespins." she sighed.

She sifted through her bag and took out a pair of brown clothespins, plugging her nose with them before she walked into another car and left Spiky and K-Zar do their business. Just as Flaky predicted, the two had a bad case of gas and were gonna start farting up a storm, like several times before.

"Hey, Spiky." said K-Zar.

"What?"

K-Zar veered his leg in Spiky's direction and let loose a massive fart that heated up the whole room. He started laughing and fanning the smell in Spiky airway, yet they didn't seem to mind the smell at all and simply started rolling around on the floor laughing. Of course, some of the passengers were disgusted by the two, so they decided to grab their luggage and sit somewhere else.

"Wait a second, wait a second! Check this out!" said Spiky.

Spiky turned around and grunted loudly before he farted directly in K-Zar's face, causing him to laugh even harder and roll on the ground like an idiot. All of a sudden, an odd looking black canine with yellow ears and a blue nose crept behind the farting animals to ask a question.

"Sorry to interrupt your…gas battle, but could I borrow your socks?" asked the dog.

K-Zar raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Unfortunately, some socks industries have been contaminated and several pedestrians have been claiming that after wearing these socks, they end up receiving an odd rash on the soles of their feet."

"So why do you need my socks?"

"Because I'll be able to detect whether or not the contaminating substance is within your socks by sniffing them, which is why I need them."

"…Okay."

K-Zar awkwardly took off his socks and handed them to the dog, who suddenly smiled mischievously and ran off to one of the bathrooms, locking the door. K-Zar simply shrugged and waited for his stomach to rumble once again. After it did, K-Zar chuckled to himself once again.

"Now this is how a person does it!"

K-Zar lifted his leg to release a really loud burst of flatulence, but it sounded very squishy when he finally blew the gas in Spiky's direction. And he felt a little…lump in the seat of his shorts…

"Wait a second, time out!"

K-Zar wiggled his butt against the floor and heard something squish.

"I think I just shit myself."

Spiky couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh so hard that he began to cry.

Meanwhile, Flaky was sitting next to a black ferret with a few sock puppets on her hands.

"So what's your name?" asked Flaky.

"Shuger. You probably know my older sister, Spice."

"Hmm…nope. Not familiar with the name."

"She always tells me not to eat my toys so I won't get indigestion, but I don't see what the big deal is."

"You're eating toys!!"

"And that's a bad thing, why?" said Shuger, just after she started stuffing her sock puppet in her mouth.

* * *

Robbo laughed mischievously as he continuously sifted through all the riches in the cargo compartment of the train. Robbo alone found over 30 different types of jewels and at least $20 million dollars. The blue raccoon chuckled to himself and began to stuff some gold into his large money sack.

"At this rate, we'll be billionaires in no time!" laughed Robbo to himself.

Robbo began to stuff gold into his bag when a mysterious dark shadow appeared behind him. Robbo wasn't sure what this figure was, but he wasn't paying any attention to notice. At least, not until the figure behind him let out a guttural growl.

"Huh?" asked Robbo.

Robbo turned around to see this dark red creature wearing all black. He wasn't sure what it was, but it had a furry tail and wings…and huge claws.

"Hey, if your comin' here to hijack the train, sorry bud! Me and my cousins beat you to it."

The creature didn't answer Robbo.

"Something wrong man? Cat got your tongue?" asked Robbo.

Robbo snapped his fingers in the creature's face, making him blink once.

"Hello? HEY!! I'M TALKING HERE!!!" said Robbo, pounding his fist on the creature's forehead.

"HELLLOOOOO!!!!" said Robbo, bonking a metal bat on his head.

"HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" said Robbo, bonking a suitcase on his head.

"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" said Robbo, grasping a pair of cymbals, ready to smash his head in-between them.

The creature, irritated at Robbo, grabbed his tongue with his left hand and slowly pulled Robbo into the air, suspending him via his tongue. Robbo was gasping and trying to speak, but nothing came out except for sputters and bits of saliva.

"**What the matter? Cat got your tongue?**" mocked the creature.

The creature then laughed gutturally and grabbed Robbo's head with his other hand. Robbo screamed when the creature slowly began to turn his head around in a 180 degree angle. Eventually, Robbo stopped screaming when his neck snapped and he died, but the creature continued to twist his head around until it was facing the creature again…and his tongue had been ripped out in the process. Then the creature pulled his head off like it was a piece of taffy and popped it into his mouth, chewing it while blood dripped out of his mouth.

* * *

"Okay, now lie down on the toilet while I yank out the crowbar, alright?" said Shifty.

"WHAT! I thought Robbo said not to do that!"

"Robbo's an idiot Lifty! You know that. Now hold still…" said Shifty, getting on top of Lifty.

Shifty got on Lifty's back and began to yank the crowbar from the back of his head.

"OW! OW! OW! AAAHH!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

"Stop screaming!! They'll hear you outside!"

"I don't care! Just leave the crowbar in! I'd rather walk around with metal in my eye than no eye at all!"

"Just let me take it out!"

"NO!!"

"Damnit Lifty, HOLD STILL!!"

Both of them started to argue and fight over the crowbar and whether or not it should be kept inside Lifty's eye. All of a sudden, the door opened, revealing two young chipmunks with awkward expressions on their face. It was Giggles and her best friend Nak. Shifty was unaware that while trying to yank out the crowbar, his genitals got dangerously close to Lifty's butthole. And the fact that Lifty was crying and whimpering and that Shifty was on top of Lifty wasn't helping the situation. In order words, Giggles and Nak thought Shifty was ass-raping Lifty.

"…I can explain..." said Shifty meekly.

But Giggles and Nak didn't want to hear anymore and proceeded to another bathroom. Unfortunately, this was ten times worse than the other. When they opened the door, they saw spots of gooey grey and white stuff on the walls and heard a dog inhaling deeply while wagging his tail. The dog laughed with a crazy, lustful voice before he inhaled deeply again.

"What...the...fuck." said Giggles.

The dog turned around and revealed himself. He had a sock covering his nose, but that wasn't the weird part. No, what made this whole epidemic weird was that the dog had his dick in his hands. It was the same dog who stole K-Zar's stinky socks; he must've put them over his nose and began to sniff them with glee. That would explain why there was sperm and ejaculate fluid on the windows and wall. The dog, unable to lie his way out of the situation, simply said, "This is _exactly_ what it looks like." Nak and Giggles slowly closed the door...just when Nak's head was split in half, causing Giggles to scream. She wasn't cut on anything and no force threw some sharp object at her neck or anything like that. She was just so...disgusted at what she saw that the top of her head just slid to the ground. Yup...just one of those random things.

...Or maybe it was the Curse Idol staring at the two; hard to tell.

* * *

Shifty was still dragging a wounded and blubbering Lifty through the train, trying to be as clandestine as possible. Right now, they were only a car away from the engine room and a guard was on the other side of the door. In order to get the medical kit from the engine room, they'd have to get past this guard and stop the train.

"How are we supposed to get past that guy Shifty?"

Shifty took out a small black pistol and cocked it, laughing mischievously to himself.

"A gun in Happy Tree Friends? I thought this was supposed to be a kid's show!!"

"Yeah, cause kids love to see cute, cuddly animals get decapitated with all the gory details shown." remarked Shifty.

The guard turned around and opened the door so that he could walk in the room that Lifty and Shifty were hiding in. The guard scratched his head and began to patrol around the room with his rifle cradled in his hands, ready to shoot any intruder on sight. …It was a little awkward actually, seeing an armed guard on a civilian train. But trouble could arise at any moment and the crew needed to be prepared. The guard stopped walking to look outside the window, noticing that it had gotten cloudy and dark. That's when Shifty snuck up from behind the unsuspecting animal and was about to shoot him in the back of the head. A dark shadow appeared in front of Shifty's view and a few seconds later, the window slammed down on the guard's neck, decapitating him.

"Huh?" asked Shifty, scratching his head.

"Ah, well."

Shifty ran over to the door and looked through the keyhole, noticing a hefty amount of engineers in the engine room. He was definitely going to need to find an alternate route to the engine unless he and his brother wanted to get gunned down.

"…Okay, new plan: We need to get up top onto the roof."

"What about the tunnel? What if it grazes by my eye and yanks the crowbar into my brain?"

"Will you stop questioning me and trust me? Now come on!"

So Lifty and Shifty got out of the window and climbed onto the top of the train, greeted by the rushing winds that could've knocked them all the way to the caboose. Lucky for the twin raccoons, they were able to travel along the roof of the train by grabbing onto the bars that were bolted into the roof.

"Don't worry Lifty! We'll get that med kit in no time and go back to robbing these idiots of all their cash!"

Shifty waited for someone to respond, but he heard no answer.

"Lifty?"

Shifty gulped loudly when he heard a grotesque crunching noise that sounded like bones snapping out of their socket. Shifty warily turned around and was shocked to see a horrible abomination with blood on its chin and mouth, growling at him. Before Shifty could react, the monster kicked Shifty in the butt and he was thrown in front of the train.

"NO!" sputtered Shifty, just before he landed on the train tracks that the train was traveling on.

"What the fuck?" yelled one of the crew members.

They looked outside in the middle of the train to see a green raccoon screaming and thrashing his arms up and down as he was slowly dragged underneath the train, getting his skin and organs torn off in the process. Some of them holstered their weapons to prepare for an ambush, but the creature abruptly gunned down all of the crew workers with a submachine gun, riddling them all with bullets. The creature hopped into the engine car and looked around, finding the lever that made the train accelerate even more than usual. The creature grabbed the lever and slowly moved it up so that the train was moving as fast as it could before he twisted the lever and yanked it off. The creature laughed evilly and hopped out the window, leaving the train to glide along the tracks itself at full speed.

And that train was headed for the bridge that Flippy and his friends were currently driving on…

**To be continued…**

**A/N: I kinda rushed with the ending, but you'll expect more soon…or in a few weeks.**


	4. SCREAM part 3

**SCREAM part 3**

**A/N: Pay VERY close attention to the song mentioned in this chapter, So Insane.**

A day before Kyra and Flaky were riding the train and while Flippy and his pals were on the bridge, Cuddles and his friends were walking along the pier, waiting to get aboard a cruise ship. Cuddles got lucky and won a free cruise to an exotic island with a few friends to go along with him. So Cuddles talked to Nutty, Mime and his cousin Rhyme, and Nappy to tag along with him. They all had something to gain during the trip. Cuddles wanted to go exploring and sunbathing…and maybe meet a few single female rabbits he could have a relationship with. Nutty wanted to ransack the jungle to look for luscious and rare fruits filled with sweet, sweet juices. He never ate a coconut candy bar or a guava lollipop before… Mime wanted to go find some other mute deer in the city that were mimes too, so he could…mime with them. Rhyme was focus on the same thing as Cuddles: having a good time and looking for anyone who was currently dateless. And Nappy? Well, he wanted to apply for a freelancing carpenter so he could put his building talents to use. Although the employers might get angry when they realize he builds stuff with food… But anyone as creative as Nappy should be able to get the job, so why not give it a shot?

"How'd you win this cruise again?" asked Nappy.

"Some guy I knew on the subway was just handing out free lottery tickets and I won!"

"…You won a free cruise from a lottery ticket?" asked Rhyme.

"Uh-huh!"

"…From some random dude in the subway?"

"Yeah."

"…Are you sure those tickets are bogus?" asked Nappy.

"Of course not! What do you think Nutty?"

Nutty was too busy slurping on a lollipop and giggling to himself to notice, but he still managed to respond to Cuddles.

"I WANT CANDY! CUDDLES TAKES US TO CANDY!!"

"See? Nutty thinks it's okay!"

Rhyme and Nappy groaned and continued to walk down the pier until they finally arrived at their cruise ship. Everybody gasped (including Mime, inaudibly) at how grand the boat was. It was like looking at a five star hotel built on water.

"OOOOOHHH!! What ship is this called?" asked Nutty.

"A Five-Star Hotel Built On Water." said Cuddles.

"That explains it."

The ship was at least a few miles long and must've weighed several tons or more, judging by all the cargo that was resting upon the bow. It was the color of the sea and even glittered like it when the sun shined upon the sides of it. If Cuddles and the gang went inside, they would be overwhelmed by the smell of lavender and vanilla pumping through the air vents and their mouths would water when they got a whiff of juicy grilled T-Boned steaks with A1 Steak Sauce on the side. Room Service was 24 hours a day and they'd be able to get a free massage in their own room while eating cherries and watching movies that haven't been released in the theater yet. It would've felt like heaven for them. Mime was flaring his nostrils while rubbing his stomach, as though he already smelled the steaks from outside the ship.

"Yeah, I can smell those T-Bones already." said Rhyme, with his mouth watering.

"What are we waiting for?! I bet they have a truckload of candy of board!!"

Nutty began to sprint to the cruise ship at lightning speed (due to his sugar rush) so he could ransack the whole food supply and guzzle down as much sugar his mouth could hold. Nutty was giggling and sputtering incoherent phrases as he reached the door of the cruise ship. But just as he reached for the door knob, the cruise ship dissolved into nothing but dust within two seconds and it revealed a ratty old pirate ship underneath the rubble. There was never a cruise ship at all.

"…Candy?" whined Nutty.

Everyone else had their jaws hanging down to the gangplank; they were so traumatized at what they just witnessed.

"What. The. Fuck." said Nappy.

Cuddles was panting and mumbling to himself as he continued to look at the pamphlet he was handed. He thought they were at the wrong pier, but he checked the brochure and the address was correct.

"No…no, no, no! This can't be right! I thought there…"

Cuddles rushed to the sailor standing next to the pirate ship with his hands behind his back, acting like one of the main guards.

"Sir? SIR!!" yelled Cuddles, running to the guard.

"What?"

"Um…we seem to be at the wrong location. Can you tell us where this ship is supposed to be ported at?"

The sailor studied the brochure carefully before handing it back to Cuddles and said, "It's right here."

"What?!! But-But-But it said we were going to this cruise ship, not a ratty pirate ship! See, look at the picture!"

Cuddles waved the brochure in the sailor's face while he looked at the photo of the luxurious cruise ship.

"Funny, it says right here in fine print at the bottom, '_This is not a real brochure; you're getting sent to a pirate ship._'"

"Where?! I didn't see that!"

"That's okay, cause on the back there's a big ass picture of this pirate ship and it says in red bold letters, '**YOU'RE NOT GOING ON CRUISE!!! YOU'RE GETTING SENT TO A PIRATE SHIP!!**' Honestly, I don't see how you could miss that."

Cuddles looked at the back of the brochure and the pirate ship several times over, unable to believe his friend on the subway duped him. Cuddles scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously while looking at his friends.

"Oops." he said meekly.

His friends responded by growling at him and making fists with their hands.

"Okay, okay, this is my fault, I know, but look on the bright side!"

"What bright side?"

"We're still going to the island and-and I'm pretty sure their bunks and the food are decent enough."

Everyone was still pissed off at Cuddles and Nutty chucked his lollipop at his head.

"I am going to kick…your…ass. Right after I finish this lollipop!"

Nutty pulled the lollipop off Cuddles' fur, taking some of the fur with it. Cuddles screamed loudly.

* * *

So there they were, standing aboard a pirate ship with many other pirates, including Russell. In fact he was the one who was introducing the gang to some of the crew at the moment.

"And over here's my first mate Salty!"

Cuddles and the gang looked next to Russell and saw a black otter wearing yellow overalls and boots. He looked a lot like Russell, except without the pirate hat, hook hand, and peg legs.

"Glad to have ya aboard the ship mates!" said Salty, sounding a lot friendlier than most of the other pirates.

Salty shook Rhyme's hand so hard it almost lifted him into the air and rattled his bones. After he was done, his whole hand was covered in slimy goo.

"Urgh…no problem." said Rhyme.

"Hey, Russell! Remember that time when you and yee shipmates were takin' on that sea monster?"

"Yaargh! Corse I remember that sea tale! You guys wanna hear it?"

"NO!!" shouted Cuddles and his gang.

Russell had been talking about his sea adventures for hours; they were sick of it at this point and were about to die of boredom.

"So thar we's were, staring at the foul beast eye to eye. I told me shipmate Salty here to grab the speargun and WHAP!! I jab the creature right in the noggin!"

Cuddles and the others slowly backed away from Russell and his shipmate so they wouldn't have to hear another one of his sea tales.

"This place sucks! Why don't they have any sugar on board?" whined Nutty.

"Don't you mean this place stinks? I know that fish doesn't smell like cookies and cream but DAAAMMNN!! It's like walking in a cesspool!" said Rhyme.

Mime's face was green and he was swaying to and fro like he was drunk or seasick. Mime was getting ready to vomit.

"Mime if you're gonna throw up, do it in the water!" said Rhyme.

Mime ran over to the side of the ship and threw his head over the railing, vomiting inaudibly into the water. He wasn't even really vomiting; he was leaning over the edge with his mouth open and jerking his body as though he were vomiting. Cuddles was slowly backing up when he bumped into a green reptile's tail. The reptile turned around and growled angrily at Cuddles. The creature was a burly alligator wearing a striped red and blue tank top and black pants.

"Heh heh! Sorry!"

"Watch where you're walking, twerp!" said the alligator.

The alligator had a menacing voice that would've made Flaky release the contents in her bladder. But aside from that, the smell of his breath was downright disgusting. Like mildew and some dead animal. Cuddles retched loudly and held his mouth and nose shut.

"Got somethin' to say Fluffy?! Wouldn't by any chance have somethin' to do wit me breath now, would it?"

Cuddles swallowed his vomit and said, "Of course not! I was just…seeing how long I could hold my breath."

"So it wouldn't be bothersome if I did this?"

The alligator belched right in Cuddles' face. The smell was so sour that he did start vomiting…but since his hands were covering his mouth, it didn't come out all at once. It seeped between his fingers and dripped onto the wooden planks like slime dripping off a stalactite. The alligator couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey Bladz! What the 'ell do ya's think ya doin' wit that rabbit?" asked a black wolf from the distance.

The wolf raced over to Bladz and saw the rabbit with vomit on his fingers. He was wearing the same clothing as Bladz and if his fur was green and he was an alligator, he'd look just like Bladz.

"Nothin' Jerry. Just havin' a little fun with him. Apparently this bloke doesn't like the...aromatic scent inside me jaws."

Jerry chuckled. "If you're gonna have fun wit the fluff-ball, do it right."

Jerry picked up Cuddles and started rubbing him underneath his arms like he were deodorant. Sadly, this wolf was one of the stinkiest members of the crew and never showered or took a bath of any sorts, so his armpits smelled like a strong variation of musk. Jerry was sighing as Cuddles was inadvertently scratching his armpits too.

"Yeah…that feels better!"

Jerry dropped Cuddles and laughed when he saw nasty brown gunk on his head and face. Cuddles, appalled at the smell, ran over to Mime to go vomit over the railing into the water.

"Sugar…I need sugar…" whined Nutty, jerking his head like a bird.

Nutty suddenly screamed like a maniac and burst through the doors leading down into the cargo hold of the ship.

"Well…I guess it's just you and me Nappy." said Rhyme.

Nappy turned around and saw some sailors trying to push a mast back into position after it cracked. It looked like it was about to fall over and crash through the boat.

"Hey, you guys need any help with that?" asked the blue cat.

"Yargh! Yee got any solutions?"

Nappy took out a pack of 5 gum and stuffed all the sticks into his mouth, chewing them slowly and savoring the flavor. Then he opened his mouth and started to blow a giant blue bubble until it was the size of his head.

"What the…"

Nappy walked over to the cracked section of the mast and poked the bubble on the shard of wood, popping the bubble. But when the bubble popped, it expanded and filled in the broken segment. Nappy replaced the missing with a large, sturdy piece of 5 gum. He even tried to push the mast over to see if the gum was working properly.

"Wow! How the 'ell you fix that so fast?"

Nappy shrugged. "It's my talent."

And so, Rhyme was left standing in the middle of the pirate ship alone, trying to find something entertaining to do.

"Hey! Landlubber!" cried another wolf.

The wolf had yellow fur and was wearing the same outfit as Salty, only it was black. Rhyme walked up to the wolf and began to talk to him.

"Do you like guitars? I got this band thing I wanna try out, but hardly anyone has any guitars."

Rhyme smiled widely. "Yes…"

Cuddles finished vomiting and began to walk over to the stairwell when he heard a loud squish. Cuddles looked down and was surprised to see that he just stepped into a heaping pile of fish guts, fresh from the sea. Cuddles held his mouth again and slowly stepped out of the fish innards, removing his slippers so the slime wouldn't soak through his toes. Realizing how smelly and slimy they were, Cuddles was gonna have to burn the slippers. But just as he was about to, Bladz showed up again and belched his foul breath in his face again, forcing him to vomit over the rail again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nutty was in the cargo holds of the ship ravenously slurping up all the sugar treats he tore out of the crates. He was lying on his back giggling in a muffled voice while his face was buried in a bag of sugar. After Nutty finished consuming his servings of glucose, he started hopping up and down and laughing wildly, spinning around like The Tasmanian Devil. When he finished enjoying his sugar high, he started to walk up to the deck, only to trip over a small blue marble.

"Huh?" mumbled Nutty.

Nutty picked up the marble when his sugary curiosity kicked in and…he licked it. Nutty laughed and threw the marble into his mouth, which he realized was a jawbreaker. Nutty started sucking out all the sugar when a sailor bumped into him from behind and caused him to spit the jawbreaker out.

"Sorry mate."

Nutty screamed as the jawbreaker rolled down a series of stairs and wound up inside the boiler and engine room of the ship. He threw himself down the stairs to chase after his jaw-cracking ball of candy, hoping no one else would find it and eat it themselves. Of course, Nutty was running so fast that he tripped over a whole box of jawbreakers and the whole thing spilled down the stairs, making Nutty panic even more.

"Hey, jawbreakers!" said a sailor working on one of the turbines.

"NOOOO!! MINE! MINE! THOSE ARE MINE!!" said Nutty.

Nutty then proceeded to bite the sailor so hard on the arm that he started bleeding. Nutty scurried across the ground like a rat, picking up all the jawbreakers with his tongue. Nutty collected all the sugary treats within a few minutes and, like always, he was going into a sugar high. Nutty giggled and shook his way to the stairs and he went up to the top deck.

Too bad Nutty forgot the blue jawbreaker that got jammed in one of the turbines of the ship...

* * *

After learning that the yellow wolf used to be part of a band, Rhyme decided to perform for the whole crew as the night entertainment. Rhyme was playing guitar and one of the singers next to the yellow wolf, Mime was playing the drums, and Nappy was control all of the other musical effects in the band. Cuddles, unfortunately, got so sick from Jerry and Bladz that he passed out and Salty had to drag him to one of the cabins, where he was currently lying down. Rhyme and the yellow wolf were getting their instruments ready so they could perform the song.

"You sure that dripping water won't shock us to death if it lands on the guitar?" asked Rhyme.

"Yeah, we should be fine…I guess."

"Okay! Let's do this!"

Mime started playing the bass drum for a few seconds before Nappy started playing his artificial keyboard that activated cool techno-like rocks sounds. Then…Rhyme and the wolf began to sing.

"_Have ya, looked at the stopwatch lately?_

_When was the last time you clocked-in?_

_There is a race to be won and a song to be sung._

_There is a fine line wearin' thin_."

Rhyme and the wolf paused for a moment before starting the next verse.

"_So don't look back, the past is past_

_The future is comin' fast_

_You better make room, we're comin' through_

_Loud and clear!_"

The audience, knowing this song shouted out "OOH! OHH!" at the pause before they started again.

"_We got the hands to turn this around_

_We got the plans to make it go down_

_We go the voice fillin' this room_

_We got the minds, the minds that go BOOM!_

_Get up, get out, get on that train_

_It's becoming so insane!_

_This tiny blue marble is rollin' away."_

The gang started another verse.

"_Have ya checked out the temperature lately?_

_There's a fever that's about to break_

_There is a game to be won and a song to be sung_

_This is our battle cry, make no mistake_."

Another verse.

"_So don't look back, the past is past_

_The future is comin' fast_

_You better make room, we're comin' through_

_Loud and clear!_"

"_OHH OHH!"_

"_We got the hands to turn this around_

_We got the plans to make it go down_

_We go the voice fillin' this room_

_We got the minds, the minds that go BOOM!_

_Get up, get out, get on that train_

_It's becoming so insane!_

_This tiny blue marble is rollin' away."_

The gang stopped singing for a moment so that Nappy could play more keys on the keyboard and so Rhyme and the wolf could perform a short solo performance. After some time, ad a few more "OHH! OHH!" they started singing again:

"_Don't look back, the past is past_

_The future is comin' fast_

_You better make room, we're comin' through_

_Loud and clear!_"

"_OHH OHH!"_

"_We got the hands to turn this around_

_We got the plans to make it go down_

_We go the voice fillin' this room_

_We got the minds, the minds that go BOOM!_

_Get up, get out, get on that train_

_It's becoming so insane!_

_This tiny blue marble is rollin' away."_

They repeated the chorus.

"_We got the hands to turn this around_

_We got the plans to make it go down_

_We go the voice fillin' this room_

_We got the minds, the minds that go BOOM!_

_Get up, get out, get on that train_

_IT'S BECOMING SO INSANE!!!_

_This tiny blue marble is rollin' away."_

The music began to subside and all Rhyme, his cousin and the others could hear were their own breaths and their heart beating. But after a while, all of the pirates and sailors began to cheer thunderously and clap until their hands (or in Russell's case, hooks) got tired.

"Maybe this won't be such a bad trip after all." said Rhyme.

Mime mimed out an agreement and shook his head up and down.

* * *

Back in the cabin, Cuddles was trying to get some sleep when Salty entered the cabin after hearing the band performance…chowing down on some dead squid.

"Hey Fluffy! You don't mind me sleepin' on the top bunk now, do ya's?"

"Whatever! Just as long as you stop expelling your squid breath in my area!"

"Squid breath?"

Salty exhaled into the palm of his hand and sniffed it twice before he shrugged and hopped to the top bunk.

"Hey Salty, do you smell musk?" asked Cuddles, looking onto the top bunk from his lower section.

"Oh yeah, that must be Jerry. He's supposed to be bunkin' wit us tonight."

"WHAT?!!? He's the reason why I got sick in the first place."

Salty laughed. "Sucks for you mate. Oh, and word of advice, leave the portholes open; I hear Jerry ate some beans for dinner and his farts could wipe the vision out me other eye!"

"WHAT?!!"

"Why do you think I'm wearin' this eyepatch now mate?"

* * *

The next day, Cuddles decided to call his cousin, Kyra, who was riding a train headed back to the HTF village. Nappy was helping Russell fix a messed up speargun…with cheese. Rhyme and Mime were reminiscing with the yellow wolf about the band performance the other night, and Nutty was sucking away on another lollipop.

"Okay, I think I got it. Now all I gotta do is stuff the cheese right there and…"

Nappy finally fixed the speargun, but the second after it was fixed, it fired a spear.

"This tiny blue marble is rollin' aw--WURGH!!" said the wolf.

The yellow wolf was re-singing the chorus of the song when the spear hit him in the back, piercing his torso in the process. The wolf groaned and slouched over to the deck.

"A.J.A.X.!!" yelled Russell, rushing over to the injured wolf.

"I'll call you back." said Cuddles, shutting his cellphone.

"What happened?" asked Rhyme.

"I was trying to fix a speargun and it went off! Maybe I should've bubble gum…" said Nappy.

"Take him to the captain so he can patch him up!" commanded Russell.

A sailor took the wounded wolf up a set of stairs and escorted him to the captain.

"As for you…" started Russell.

But before he could finish, the pirate ship rumbled and shook like a miniature earthquake at sea. Something had exploded in the engine room.

"What the bloody 'ell was that?" asked Bladz.

"Maybe you should go an' check it out, eh gator?" said Russell.

"Awright, awright. I'll go sniff out the bug." said Bladz, walking down into the engine room.

It was at this time when the sun was blocked by several thick clouds and it suddenly got so dark that it looked like it might rain. Anyways, Bladz was in the boiler room…well, he was actually swimming through the boiler room; one of the turbines exploded and the whole place was flooding.

"DAMN! Who's been screwin' wit the turbines?!" demanded Bladz.

Bladz jerked his head left when he heard something growl and thought it might've been one of his shipmates…but all he saw was a glimpse of a tentacle with purple suction cups.

"What the…"

Bladz ignored what he just saw and swam his way to the bottom of the boiler room, where he saw the source of the problem. It was a large jawbreaker that had been jamming the systems, thanks to Nutty. Bladz carefully removed the piece of candy and swam back to the surface to breathe in some air.

"There we go! Good as new!"

Bladz was about to toss the jawbreaker into his mouth when he was suddenly getting sucked into the bottom of the ship. Somehow, the turbines were configured to suck in the water in the room…and everything in it.

"What the fuck--HEY! Someone shut off the damn turbines!"

Bladz tried to swim away, but he soon felt his tail grinding away. Bladz turned around in horror to find out the turbine was grinding his tail away like it was nothing. Bladz screamed and used all of his strength to swim away, but it was no use. The turbine chopped up Bladz's body starting from his tail and slowly traveling upwards to the rest of his body, splattering his organs and blood across the room. There was nothing Bladz could do but scream until his vocal cords were shredded in the turbine, followed by his head.

"I wonder what's taking Bladz so long?" said Russell.

"I dunno, but do any of you guys see that thing in the water?" asked Nappy.

"Look, I'm sure your gator friend with the malodorous breath is fine. I'm just wondering why it got so cloudy all of a sudden." said Cuddles.

"Um guys…you realize what I'm looking at has tentacles…right?" continued Nappy.

"Until those turbines an' boilers are repaired, we can't maneuver!"

"Meaning?"

Russell sighed. "Ya haven't any brains at all, do ya bunny? We be shipwrecked at sea!!"

"Guys?!" said Nappy.

"Yay. I've always wanted to be shipwrecked in the middle of the sea." said Rhyme, flatly.

Someone shrieked loudly and the gang turned their heads to see a large accumulation of bubbles one the rim of the water.

"Nappy?" asked Rhyme.

Mime started jumping up and down and pointing at the water, trying to alert the crew that he saw something.

"What is it Mime?" asked Rhyme.

Mime leaned over the edge and pointed to some slimy red and pink like tentacle that had skin in its suckers. It was blue skin.

"Oh my God, it ate Nappy!!" yelled Cuddles, with realization.

The lollipop in Nutty's mouth escaped from his jaws the second he saw a massive tentacle hanging in the air. Nutty started panting and jolting up and down when he the tentacle land into the sea and create a thunderous wave.

"Oh shit!" yelled Rhyme.

The tidal wave hit the boat at full force and knocked several wooden planks out of place. What made it worse was that it breached the cargo hold and water was quickly rushing in.

"MAN YOUR STATIONS! RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!!" yelled the captain from his captain, a white otter wearing black clothing.

"Uh, cap'n?" asked A.J.A.X. when he saw a tentacle sifting through the captain's cabin.

"What-what do you want us to do?" asked Cuddles.

"Put that cannonball in the cannon an' light it on fire! I'll go find some gunpowder!" said Russell.

Russell turned around and took a step forward. He tried taking another step, but couldn't because his peg leg was stuck in one of the holes in the plank. Russell grunted multiple times and tried to pull out his leg, but it was no use. And the giant tentacle staring down at Russell wasn't making the situation any better. Cuddles put a cannonball in the cannon and aimed it at the tentacle, waiting for someone to set it on fire. Someone grabbed Cuddles by the ears and placed him over the cannon.

"How's it goin' Fluffy?" asked Jerry.

"Now's not the time Stink-Hair! Just set the cannon on fire!"

"Awright."

Cuddles screamed repeatedly when Jerry rubbed his head on the cannon until a spark flew and set the rope on fire, traveling slowly into the cannon.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" yelled Jerry.

Everyone covered their ears and waited for the cannon to fire, but instead of a loud boom, they heard a clang and a slimy "whoosh" sound. Everybody opened their eyes and saw that the cannon was aimed right for them instead; the monster must've hit the cannon with its thick tentacle and moved it towards the crew.

"HIT THE DECK!!" yelled Jerry, throwing himself down.

Everybody threw themselves down (except for A.J.A.X., who just left the captain's cabin to see what was happening) and dodged the incoming cannonball. A.J.A.X. didn't duck fast enough and the cannon wound up taking his whole head off in an instant.

"A.J.A.X.!!" screamed Russell.

But it didn't stop there. The mast that Nappy repaired with the 5 gum slowly broke away and was falling forward…right in Rhyme's direction. Rhyme turned around and gasped loudly before a sudden force shoved Rhyme out of the way. The mast landed on the deck and threw wood shavings and planks into the air like rain, hitting some of the pirate's in the face. Rhyme slowly stood up and looked at the broken mast. Then he looked underneath the mast and got near close to crying when he realized his cousin was lying under it. Mime had saved his cousin's life by pushing him out of the way…and wound up giving up his own life in the process. Rhyme started to whine a little and began to cry, but those tears soon dried up before falling off his chin and his whines turned into raspy growls. His teeth suddenly became sharp and his eyes turned dark purple, like he was possessed.

Then he screamed ferociously and charged towards Jerry, who was still holding his friend Cuddles by the ears. Rhyme pounced onto the wolf and started strangling him with the red bandanna tied around his forehead, before he bit down on the dirty wolf's neck, ripping it out like he was a rabid dog himself.

"Whoa! Holy shit dude…" said Cuddles, backing away from the vicious green deer.

Nutty was whimpering after he lost his lollipop and was wondering around the deck looking for it. Nutty finally found the candy on a stick and leaped for it…only to have a tentacle snatch it away from him and drag it into the sea.

"NNNOOOOOO!!!" wailed Nutty.

It a state of hysteria, Nutty threw himself into the water to go search for his lollipop. Meanwhile, Salty was helping Russell get out of the hole when a bowling pin impaled him in the mouth.

"MMPH!!?" mumbled Salty.

Suddenly, a bowling pin impaled him in his right eye and then his left eyepatch. Salty was choking and screaming as the bowling pins crushed his windpipe and retinas. Rhyme was the one who chucked his acrobatic utensils at the squid reeking otter. In the state he was in now, people would call him "Flippy" But he wasn't Flippy at all; he just…had a bad childhood. Now whenever his "demon" comes out, anyone who looks like a bully or a hostile gets killed. It was Salty's unfortunate luck that it looked like he was abusing Russell by tugging on his body. So Rhyme got three bowling balls and laughed evilly, before he threw them all at his head. The bowling ball that hit the bowling pin in his mouth shot through the back of his neck and the ones in his eyes broke through the skull and scrambled his brains. All in all, he had two bowling pins sticking out his eyes that went through his brain. Salty fell to the deck and died.

"RHYME!!"

Rhyme snorted and said, "What?" in his normal voice.

"Get me outta this thing before--"

The boat suddenly split in half like a popsicle stick and water splashed everywhere; the creature used his tentacles to rip the ship apart. What made things worse was that the captain fell out the bridge and he spilled into the opening…just as the ship began to close together. Imagine if you broke a popsicle stick in half, then placed something in-between the broken segment and closed it back up. This is what the ship did…and the captain wound up getting severed in half by both sides of the deck. Rhyme, realizing he couldn't save anyone else, grabbed Cuddles, ran over to Russell, snagged him out of the hole, and jumped off the boat.

"What about me shipmates?!"

"There's no time Russell! The ship was gonna explode anyways!"

Everyone turned around to see that the ship somehow erupted into a fireball and blasted wooden planks…and body parts all over the sea. A large plank from the boat splashed in the water next to the three and Rhyme placed Russell and Cuddles onto it, while Rhyme continued to tread water.

"Where's the sea monster?" asked Cuddles.

"Hopefully it's nowhere near--"

Rhyme shouted loudly when a tentacle latched onto the side of his face and began to pull it apart, stretching out his skin. Rhyme screamed and yanked the suctioned tentacle away, only to have another one grab the other side of his head. Russell and Cuddles used their hands to row the plank away from Rhyme. Five more tentacles glued themselves to Rhyme and began to stretch themselves apart, gradually ripping off his face. Rhyme screamed hysterically when his skin and clothes were ripped off by the tentacles and his muscles and tissue were showing. Suddenly, a tentacle stuffed itself into Rhyme's mouth and started to choke him…just before another tentacle stuffed itself into Rhyme's eye sockets and ears, sucking out all of his organs through the holes until he was dragged underwater and devoured.

"What are we gonna do? WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO?!!?" asked Cuddles.

"Just…just stay calm. We'll get through this okay?"

But just as Cuddles felt a sense of relief, a whole arsenal of shark creatures with tentacles for arms popped up from the water, enclosing Russell and Cuddles in a circle. Cuddles and Russell gulped hard.

"Russell?"

"Yeah mate?"

"Please tell me you have anti-shark repellent in your trousers!"

"I…I left it in me cabin."

The sharks growled and devilish smiles appeared on their faces.

"FFFFFFFUCK."

The shark mutants began to tear Russell and Cuddles apart…

* * *

Amazingly, Nutty survived the whole epidemic unscathed and was resting face down on a beach. He groaned and lifted his head to see that the jawbreaker from the night before was in his mouth. Nutty started to laugh and toss the jawbreaker up into the air with glee, happy that he was finally able to eat the damn thing after all the trouble he went through. Nutty extended his tongue and placed the jawbreaker on his mouth…and then a coconut impaled him in the face. Yes…a coconut. It seemed to have came out of nowhere and struck the sticky green squirrel in the face, smashing it. Nutty whined twice before he fell forward and died. And then the sea monster extended its tentacle and dragged Nutty into the sea, devouring his corpse.

The jawbreaker was resting on the sand on a slope…and it began to roll away.

_This tiny blue marble was rollin' away…_

**To be continued…**


	5. SCREAM part 4

****

SCREAM part 4

**A/N: Just wanna gives thanks to Fridix95 for letting me use her OC Eloise, who will show up in the next chapter or two. **

**Also, after watching a hilarious HTF AMV, Handy's new catch-phrase is "SHIT!"**

So there's a giant mouth underneath you, and a homicidal demonic bear with a knife in his hand above you. Gee…not too many options at this point. But Flippy still wasn't dead yet, so that meant something in his mind. He had a blue skunk and a gray bunny dragging him down, but that was only a little hitch in his plan. All sorts of questions were swirling in his head right now.

(What the hell was going on? Are all of my friend's dead? Why is this happening to me?! What the hell is my demon doing here and why is there a giant hole with teeth trying to eat me? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!) he screamed in his mind.

It was all too much for him; the red sky, the black clouds and lightning, the roaring hole in the ground, the pedestrians latched onto his legs. And last but not least, the collapsing bridge and the demon laughing his way to the three fearful animals. Flippy looked down at the roaring beast and saw its hot breath shoot up into the air, leaving a displeasing smell in his nostrils. Despite how slimy and gross the monster seemed, it was extremely vicious. Flippy caught a glance of some reddish-orange skunk get stuck on one of its tentacles and was sucked into the hole, landing in an unknown location (probably the creature's stomach acid). He looked really carefully and noticed that a tentacle was nowhere near the end of the bridge that was hanging near the ground and there was nothing but wet dirt and grass on the ground. Perhaps they would be able to survive the epidemic…

"Petunia and grey rabbit I don't know!" shouted Flippy.

"What?!!" shouted Petunia and Kyra.

"I need you to let go when I saw three, alright?!"

"WHAT!!?"

"Trust me! If I grab onto a blunt object sticking out the bridge at the right moment, we can fall into the mud and get away. Even if I don't grab the metal bar, the mud will cushion the fall!"

"Are you sure about this?!" asked Kyra.

"Unless you want that guy up there to scalp you, yeah!"

Petunia and Kyra gasped after they looked down into the creature's mouth, holding Flippy's legs like there was no tomorrow (and at this rate, there probably wasn't).

"On three! 1…2…"

"Wait! Is it we let go on three or 1, 2, 3, then jump?"

"THREE!!" said Flippy.

Just as Flippy's demon arrived at Flippy and the two women and lashed at them with his knife, Flippy let go off the blunt object sticking out the bridge and they fell. Flippy, Petunia, and Kyra screamed at the top of their lungs. They felt the rushing winds going past their faces and the updraft going into their mouths so much that their lips were flapping across their faces. Imagine free-falling without a parachute, only you'll land in soft mud instead of the hard ground. But then again, if they didn't land in the mud, they'd plummet into the creature's mouth and would be devoured slowly and painfully.

Luck was on Flippy's side today and he and the women landed in the soft mud. They jolted themselves up and shook the mud off themselves just when they turned around and saw the slimy pinkish tentacle waving itself around, ready to grab them. Everyone screamed and ran in all sorts of directions as the tentacle swiped itself at the defenseless animals, ready to suck out their organs and deliver them into the mouth.

"This is insane!" shouted Kyra.

"Gee Kyra, there's a hole in the ground with teeth on the side! OF COURSE IT'S INSANE!!" yelled Petunia.

"Stop complaining and keep running! We have to get back to the city!" said Flippy.

But right after he said that, Flippy and Kyra heard a loud scream and turned around to see what happened to Petunia. They thought that one of the tentacles wrapped itself around her body, but it turns out that some slimy gunk from the top of the collapsed bridge plopped onto her scalp. Petunia started shaking and freaking out about the slime, so instead of running with Flippy and Kyra to get back into the city, she ran back over to the hole to see if she could find some water in the dried up river. However, in the process, one of the tentacles wrapped itself around Petunia, latching its sucker onto her head. Petunia screamed and tried to fight back at the tentacle, kicking and shouting at it to let go of her head. That's when her skin was slowly being ripped out of place, stretching into the tentacle like a piece of taffy, revealing part of Petunia's scalp and brains. The tentacle veered itself backwards and Petunia's whole head was ripped off just before another tentacle swiped her corpse up. Both were chucked into the hole.

"NO! PETUNIA!!" shouted Kyra.

"There's nothing we can do for her now! Let's go!!"

* * *

Back in the city, things were no better. In fact, things were worse there than back at the bridge. People were running around either screaming or on fire. Some were fighting with a demonic looking creature while others were getting devoured by them. And in the midst of it all was Kyra and Flippy.

"Christ it's a fucking blood bath!" said Flippy.

"What are we supposed to do?!" asked Kyra.

Flippy looked around town and realized that at least a couple of animals were still alive, but in perilous situations. Perhaps they could gather as many survivors as they could and take shelter somewhere and wait for the whole epidemic to blow over. Flippy saw Handy on top of a building running away from some sort of winged creature and then he saw Flaky screaming as she saw a dog on the ground.

"All right, you get on that roof and go help Handy and I'll go save Flaky."

"Okay." said Kyra.

And so, Kyra and Flippy split up to go help their friends in need. Flippy ran over to Flaky who was screaming and quivering at the tiny gray dog sitting in front of her.

"Flaky, what's wrong?" asked Flippy.

Flaky screamed and shouted, "That dog's trying to kill me!"

Flippy stared at the dog for a while and was starting to wonder if Flaky was delusional or crazy. The dog was gray and tiny and it was so cute that Flippy himself felt like picking it up and squeezing it until it popped. Yet Flaky was scared out of her wits by the canine.

"Flaky you sure this dog is homicidal?"

"YES!! Just look at it!"

"I'm lookin' and I feel like holding the puppy and chewing on its cheek."

Flippy smiled and kneeled to the dog.

"Hey, little guy--"

The dog suddenly snarled and bit Flippy on the hand, causing Flaky to scream and run away.

"OW! What the fuck?! Heel! HEEL!!!" yelled Flippy, shaking his hand so the dog would fly away and stop biting him.

Too bad Flippy wasn't aware that this dog was the dog that seemed cute at first, but whenever somebody blew a whistle, it would go insane. Someone, somewhere, accidentally blew that whistle and made the dog flip out.

* * *

Kyra was running up a long series of stairs so that she could go rescue Handy from his assailant. It shouldn't be too tough, since she was armed with five different sets of knives and three different types of pistols, one of which was a Desert Eagle. She stopped a couple of times to catch her breath, but other than that, she got to the rooftop without any problems. Kyra kicked open the door and came face to face with some horrible bat creature that had a sharp set of teeth in its mouth. Kyra quickly rolled out the way before the creature clawed her face off and shot the creature in the back with her M1911 pistol. The creature merely turned around and growled at Kyra with drool seeping down its chin.

"Oh shit." muttered Kyra.

The creature screeched at the gray bunny and stretched its wings into the air. Then it jumped up and started flapping its way to Kyra, ready to tear her to shreds. Kyra began to run over to the edge of the roof, shooting at the vile thing until it fell from the sky making a death rattle. The bat creature plummeted through a section of the roof, crashing through every floor in the building and landing on the ground floor.

"Little help over here?" asked Handy, who was hiding behind a generator.

Kyra rushed over to the wounded handless orange beaver and started asking him questions.

"Perhaps you could shed some light on this situation?"

"How am I supposed to know anything?! I was standing on a cherry-picker fixing some of the phone lines when the sky suddenly turns red and a bunch of these weird monster shoot out of a portal from the ground."

"Did the portal have teeth on the sides?"

"I think so."

"Okay, well do you know of a place where we can stow away until this whole thing blows over? Like a bomb shelter?"

"Nope."

Kyra sighed heavily. "Until we find somewhere safe, take this gun to protect yourself."

Handy extends his arms to reach the gun, but he remembered something very important…

**HE HAD NO HANDS!**

So Handy grumbled to himself and grabbed the gun with his mouth.

"How you gonna shoot that thing? With your tongue?" asked Kyra.

Handy responded with a muffled comment. Then Handy started grunting and swishing his mouth around so he could fire the pistol. However, his tongue inadvertently pushed the handle of the gun and he wound up knocking the pistol out his mouth. It fell to the ground floor with the bat. Kyra couldn't help but smile and chuckle to herself.

"SHIT!" yelled Handy.

* * *

Flippy was busy bludgeoning a dog to death with a large, blunt wrench. After killing the rabid dog, Flippy started panting and began to slow his breaths, rubbing the sweat off his eyebrow.

"FLAKY!! FLAKY!!" shouted a green porcupine.

Flippy turned around and saw a large green porcupine running down the road sweating and panting, looking for his child.

"DAD!" shouted Flaky.

Spiky and Flaky reunited by grabbing each other and giving the other a massive bear hug, almost crying when they held each other.

"Dad, I thought you--"

"No I'm…I'm fine. You know I'd never leave you Flaky."

"What about Pop and Cub?"

"Honey that's different; Pop's retarded."

Flippy couldn't help but laugh at the comment Spiky made, mostly because it was true. At least Spiky was a little more protective of his offspring unlike Pop. Flippy turned around and saw Kyra walking with Handy and a couple of guns in her hands. Handy decided to hold a gun in his toes and hop on one foot. At least it wasn't as slippery in his mouth.

"Hey, do you any of you guys smell feet?" asked Handy.

Everyone looked awkwardly at Spiky, forcing him to get into an uncomfortable position. Spiky lifted up his left and right foot and sniffed them twice, before laughing nervously and stepping back from the crowd.

"Yeeeaaaahh…about that…"

"Okay, so your pops has a bit of foot odor; at least he can handle a gun." said Kyra, chucking a pistol to Spiky.

"Cool! It's been a while since I've fired a pistol!"

Everyone grew wide-eyed and stepped backwards while holstering their weapons in the air. Something horrible was behind the green porcupine.

"What?"

"DAD! LOOK OUT!"

Something roared loudly at Spiky and charged towards him. Spiky merely yelped and took a lighter out of his pocket and set it on fire. He then grunted loudly and positioned his butt so that it was behind the lighter. Spiky suddenly broke wind so hard that it created a large path of fire and it shot backwards at the monster, setting it on fire. It took Spiky a full five to eight seconds before he stopped farting and sighed so contently that his tongue came out of his mouth. The monster behind him was charred and black and Flippy and his friends were plugging their noses, near close to vomiting. Despite everything, Spiky fell on his back and started to laugh so much that he was crying.

"Um…that was-that was…disgusting." said Kyra.

"Dad, you really need to grow up." said Flaky.

* * *

Flippy and the gang were traveling through the National HTF Zoo, sifting their way past all the piles of blood and grotesque monsters that had been killed by stragglers. The zoo looked just as menacing as the sky. In fact, calling it a zoo was over-exaggerated; a park from the bowels of Hell or even a graveyard filled with satanic animals was more exact. The gang walked past several of their friends inside this one zoo alone; Spiky and Flaky spotted Pop in a pile of excrement. They guessed some animal devoured him long ago and pooped him out. A skunk in black and white was seen hanging upside down from chains…without his skin. It was Petunia's older brother, Tevor. Giggles and some teenage deer with yellow antlers were both found with fangs in their eyes and their innards spilled over their heads. Flippy didn't feel like looking at anymore.

"Isn't there a bomb shelter in this zoo?" asked Kyra.

"Yes. Now as long as we can get past the bull-pit--"

Handy was cut off when he heard loud screaming in the distance and spotted a green fox with a grey tail running away from a bull creature that looked a lot like a minotaur or some black rabid bull that walked upright like they did. Handy grunted frustratingly as he tried to shoot the bull with his foot, but he wound up hitting Flippy in the arm.

"SHIT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK HANDY!!"

"Sorry. My bad."

Kyra and Flippy dispatched the bull themselves with their pistols and saved the green fox. The bull roared just before its body slid on the sand and fell into a large pit, where it was devoured by demonic bears.

"Ah. Flippy. Haven't seen you since you decided to put your dick in another woman's mouth."

"Shut the fuck up Omane! If I really wanted to, I coulda let that bull spear you in the ass until you realized it wasn't _my_ dick jammed in there."

"Like your dick is that big."

"Guys he's not wearing any pants. I mean…it's hangin' right there." Kyra pointed out.

"Okay subject change. Who's the fox with the grey tail?" asked Flaky.

"My ex-girlfriend. We used to--"

"We get it. She wouldn't settle down would she? Too much cushion for the pushin' Flippy? Eh? Eh???" said Spiky, nudging his daughter on the shoulder.

"Dad I'm not male." said Flaky.

"…I knew that."

"No, she wouldn't shut the fuck up while we were doing it. 'Flippy, spank me! Flippy shove that straw in my ass! Flippy, snort coke off my breast!'"

"Shut up Flippy!" yelled Omane.

"NO! You're gonna stand there and listen to my funny imitation of you while having sex! 'Don't bend it like that! Your balls smell like musk! How many times are you gonna fart while we fuck?'?!"

"Fuck you Flippy."

"WE TRIED THAT ALREADY!!!"

"YOU--"

A large snake hissed loudly as it traveled along the ground, getting closer to the group. Like always, Flaky screamed at the top of her lungs while Spiky merely shot the snake with the pistol Kyra gave him.

"This place isn't safe! We have to get to the bomb shelter!" announced Handy.

Everyone ran inside of a large building filled with nothing but dead animals and blood and broken wall tiles and windows. They ignored all these obstacles and continued to move forward without any hesitation (plus there were a shitload of snakes chasing them, which motivated them even more). Kyra opened up a door for Handy (since he had no hands and all) and Flippy and Omane proceeded through the door with them. Flaky and Spiky were about to go through the steel door, but a crate used for gathering more animals slid down the floor and shut the door. It also pinned Flaky and Spiky to the wall in the process and the crate spilled out more snakes. The snakes hissed loudly as they slowly slid their way to the stunned porcupine and hedgehog. Spiky opened up his eyelids and tried to grab his gun, but it didn't end so well.

"NO!" shouted Spiky, as a snake bit him on the arm.

Then another snake bit Flaky in the stomach and pretty soon, both prickly creatures were screaming and holding their swollen areas of their bodies. But that didn't help much, as more snakes continued to bite them. In fact, Spiky yelled out loud when a snake spat its venomous poison into his eyes and nearly blinded him.

"OH GOD! MY EYES!!!" cried Spiky.

Spiky's face turned red and tears (and snake venom) were streaming down his cheeks while his daughter screamed relentlessly as the snakes bit her more and more. Pretty soon, they'd be dead.

"Flaky!!" screamed Flippy.

"Oh shit." muttered Omane, shoving Handy down a hallway.

Handy screamed for a half-second before another bull-like demon impaled him in the eyeball with its horn, killing the amputee beaver instantly. Omane put Handy in harm's way so she could save herself.

"You little bitch." muttered Flippy.

Flippy heard two loud gunshots and was shocked to see a small bullet hole in Omane and Kyra's forehead…and blood all over his face. That's when the whole building suddenly disintegrated into nothing and Flippy was overwhelmed when he felt rushing hot wind go across his face. Flippy looked back at the building and saw his demon stowing away inside the bomb shelter; he was the one who killed Omane and Kyra. He was laughing like always, showing his spiky white teeth while gesturing Flippy to turn around.

Flippy turned around and screamed when his whole body started to burn up due to the fire and the bombs. He could feel the skin melting off his bones, his eyeballs exploding from all the heat, his organs expanding like popcorn, waiting to burst out of his chest. All Flippy could do was scream as he melted away into nothing…

* * *

That's when Flippy woke up.

**A/N: Again, it was a little rushed at the end, but you get the general idea.**


	6. Rozen Yoga

**Rozen Yoga**

**A/N: Okay, now that I'm out of my little hiatus, here's some more Final Destination with Happy Tree Friends. Originally, this chapter was going to include the date scene of Splendid and Perfect, but I realized it'd be too long so I decided to split it up.**

He wasn't even sure how it happened. One second Flippy was on fire, his skin and fur boiling to the brink of ash waiting to scatter into the wind, and the next he was lying in bed, perspiring as though he were on the sun. He sat up and started panting over and over again, wiping the sweat of his face and trying to catch his breath. His heart was growing more and more by the minute and Flippy was beginning to think he was having (or had) a heart attack. But Flippy remained calm and took a deep breath, shutting his eyes and inhaling and exhaling.

"What the hell…?" mumbled Flippy.

He looked at his hands and was surprised that they were sweatier than his face. Then he turned around to look at his pillow and bed sheets…which were also drenched in sweat. Flippy slouched out of bed and walked over to the mirror, glancing at his soggy fur. His eyes were red, full of veins and he didn't exactly look like grade A material. He was only wearing a white tank-top and his hat was on his nightstand next to his alarm clock and bed. Flippy tore off the raggedy dirty shirt material, went into his closet and replaced it with one of his old khaki shirts, before walking to the nightstand and putting his green beret back on. Flippy got a bottle of mouthwash and gurgled for half a minute before spitting the mouth cleansing fluid down into his sink. And since he was already in there, Flippy decided to urinate into the toilet.

He did this every morning and yet, the dream…dream, more like nightmare…couldn't escape his mind. Everytime he took a step forward, he felt a twinge in the back of his skull, like his twin was literally dying to get out. Erratically, Flippy rushed to the calendar and looked at the date. Apparently, it was two days before the events in his dream were supposed to take place. He pondered for a few minutes, trying to figure out what he should do, but simply sighed and continued to go about his business.

"I wonder what Meth's doing…"

* * *

It was 2:27 in the afternoon and everyone was in town doing various activities. But most of them were in the festival district having the time of their lives, visiting the various cafes and ice cream parlors and gift shops that were placed in the area. And in the midst of all the commotion was an ice cream shack with outdoor tables and chairs, many of which were currently occupied. Surprisingly, Lumpy was working as the server of this shack.

"So you said you wanted mint flavor?" asked Lumpy.

"For the seventh time…yes." said a deer customer.

Lumpy scratched his head. "What color is that one?"

"GREEN!! Stick the fuckin' ice cream scooper in the green bucket, put the scoop on a cone, and I'll give you 50 cents!"

"Okay."

Lumpy stuck his head into the mini-freezer that was storing the ice cream and got a scoop. Then he got a regular waffle cone and placed it on top of it, handing it to the customer.

"Here you go." said Lumpy smiling.

"Dude…"

"Yes?"

"That's blue."

"Yes."

"I asked for green."

"Oh, sorry! Let me get that for you…"

Lumpy reached into the freezer and dug out another large scoop of ice cream, placing it on top of the first scoop.

"Here you go."

"…That's pink."

"Yes."

"I asked for green!"

"…Whoops. Sorry!"

Lumpy dug into the container and picked out something that wasn't even a scoop of ice cream.

"Here you go."

"That's a cockroach."

"Whuh?"

Lumpy looked at the ice cream cone and noticed a fairly large cockroach scurrying across the frozen desert.

"Oh shit!" he yelled.

Startled by the bug, Lumpy dropped the cone and proceeded to stomp the cream into dust until the bug was dead. He then scooped the dirty cream back into the cone and held it back up to the customer.

"Here you go!"

"You just dropped that on the ground! How am I gonna eat dirty ice cream that's been off the ground?!"

"Oh, don't worry. Five second rule!"

"That's not even the flavor I wanted!"

"It's fine, see?"

Lumpy tossed the whole cone into his mouth and chewed on it like it was nothing, watching the customer's jaw drop. He swallowed hard and sighed with satisfaction.

"See?"

"Now I don't even have an ice cream cone! WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!!?"

Lumpy blinked twice and stared at the customer with a blank expression on his face. Then he said, "Hi! Welcome to Ice Cream Shack!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?"

"Hey, what color is the green flavor?"

The customer made a high pitched squeal and his eye twitched several times. After thinking for a while, he realized that the creature in front of him had mental issues, so he walked away from the bar, muttering and cursing to himself. Meanwhile, Meth was busy slurping a strawberry ice cream cone when Flippy showed up and sat down across the table from him.

"Hey Flippy! How's it hangin'?"

Meth sniffed the air twice and plugged his nose.

"Dude, when's the last time you took a shower?!"

"I was up all night sweating! How am I supposed to smell?!"

"Why didn't you just take a shower this morning?"

"Can you stop talking about my hygiene and listen to me?!"

Meth sighed. "All right."

"You ever have this really weird dream that you were confident was real, but then it turned out to be fake?"

"It's called being drunk, Flippy. Now show me what kind of tattoo you got on your ass."

"My--WHAT!!!"

"Everytime I get drunk, I wake up with a tattoo on my ass. You have any idea how many times I had to get laser surgery on my ass man?"

"…Why are you telling me this?"

Meth and Flippy stopped talking when they heard muffled grunting from behind. They saw Handy trying his best to hold his ice cream cone, but since Handy had **NO HANDS **it was kinda hard to do so. Handy walked over to Meth and Flippy and sat down next to them, groaning when he got a whiff of Flippy.

"Wow, you stink!"

Flippy growled and looked at his ice cream cone. Then he slapped the cone out Handy's handless arms and it splattered on a kid's head.

"AW, SHIT!" yelled Handy, rushing back to the counter.

"Anyways, it was a really freaky dream Meth. I mean…I had nightmares and flashbacks before with the war, but this was just insane. My clone--"

"Your clone?"

"The 'other' me; the inner demon in myself. He came out of a mirror and started attacking me."

"Was I in this dream?" asked Meth, curious.

"You and your band were the first ones to die."

"Thanks, thanks. That makes me feel so much better." said Meth, flatly.

"We were on a bridge, and it started to collapse; everyone around me was screaming, crying bloody murder. And eveyrtime I tried to save someone, they just died. And what was really scary was the way they died. It wasn't just 'I got stabbed' or 'I got shot' it was brutal stuff…like back in the war."

Handy sat back down at the table trying to hold his ice cream cone once again.

"Don't knock out my cone Flippy!" warned Handy.

"Okay."

Flippy waited for Handy to place his tongue on the scoop of frozen pastry, then he grabbed the cone and shoved the whole thing into his mouth.

"SHIT!" yelled Handy, going to get another cone.

"So you dreamt a bunch of people dying. Big deal!"

"Yeah, but afterwards, the sky turned red and um…this gigantic hole appeared in the ground with teeth in it and some demons were flying everywhere--"

"Okay, you've been watching too many horror movies." chuckled Meth.

"What?"

"No one could possibly dream all that without getting some idea from a horror movie or something graphic and R-rated they saw on TV."

Handy sat back down with yet another ice cream cone.

"Do not--"

Flippy knocked Handy in his stubs and forced the cone to get shoved into Handy's face.

"SHIT!! STOP FUCKIN' WITH ME FLIPPY!"

"What's up Flipster? Had any--"

Fally yelped when he tripped over his own feet and landed right in front of the table. Fally got back up and sat down next to Meth.

"So how's life been treating you Flippy?"

"Apparently Flippy had an insane nightmare last night."

"COOL! Did someone die?"

"Yeah, a shitload of people died actually."

"Well now that you're done with your story, what's the basic overview of the whole thing?" asked Meth.

"I really don't know. It kinda felt like a premonition, like the world was gonna end soon."

"Hey, was I in the dream?"

"Yeah. Too bad for Meth though; he got squashed by a bridge support beam."

Fally started laughing in a taunting manner and said, "You got squashed like a bug!"

"Fally, you had your gut cut open." Flippy pointed out.

Fally clutched his torso and muttered, "OW!" Meanwhile, Handy returned with another ice cream cone in his stubby arms.

"Thanks Handy!" said Fally, taking the ice cream cones and licking them.

"SHIT!!" squealed Handy, running back to get more ice cream.

"Ah, it was just a dream. Get over it Flippy!" said Meth.

Flippy sighed heavily. "Yeah…yeah, I should just forget about it."

* * *

Elsewhere, Petunia, Eloise, Perfect, Shuger, and Spice were sitting at a table having another conversation with each other. Perfect was discussing an impending date with her boyfriend, and possibly soon to be spouse Splendid. Although Shuger was standing over by the ice cream stand ordering ice cream while the girls were talking.

"So you're actually going on a date with Splendid?" asked Spice.

"Yeah. What's so bad about Splendid? He's a superhero like me. He's sexy and muscular. We've known each other for almost two years now and every other date we've had has gone well. What could go wrong tonight?"

"See, you don't have any siblings to mess things up!" started Petunia.

"Is this gonna end with how your brother keeps trying to kill your boyfriend?" asked Spice.

"He does it everytime! Like two weeks ago, when we were about to go to the movies…"

* * *

"I'll see you in a minute Stinky! I just have to get my hand sanitizer!" said Petunia, retreating to her apartment.

"Okay!" said Stinky.

Suddenly, Tevor jumped out of a bush wearing khaki clothing and pressed a red button on a detonator before approaching Stinky.

"Tevor?! What the hell?!"

"You have a bomb in your skull. Either you break up with my sister in five seconds or you die."

"Tevor, this is really getting annoying. I love your sister. I'm having sex with her. Get that sand out your vagina and grow a pair of nuts. Maybe then you'll realize that I'm never breaking up--"

Tevor started grumbling and pressed down on his detonator multiple times, wondering why the bomb hadn't gone off.

"I don't get it! If I didn't put the bomb up your nose, then who--"

A loud explosion was heard nearby and blood was splattered all over Tevor and Stinky. A woman shrieked loudly.

"OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD!!!" yelled a pedestrian.

"Uh-oh…" said Tevor meekly.

* * *

"I'm surprised he wasn't charged for murder." said Spice.

"Well no one could figure out that he was the one who planted the bomb in his skull, so no charges were pressed."

"Why don't you go double dating Perfect?" asked Eloise.

"Double dating?"

"Yeah. You take one of your guy friends and then you go on a date with your guy friend simultaneously. It's like two dates at once."

"Have you ever gone double dating?"

"I do it all the time with Flippy. Like last week when I went on a date with Handy…"

* * *

"Eloise, I'm sick of dating Flaky with you and Handy in the background!"

"Well Handy wanted to go to a fancy restaurant this evening and he wanted to see Flaky again! You're going on that date with Flaky and that's final!"

"But we didn't plan on going out tonight!"

"THAT'S FINAL!!" declared Eloise.

Flippy sighed in a defeated state and decided to agree with Eloise.

"Fine. You're right sis. Just let me go get my coat and I'll be ready to go."

Flippy went into the closet and shut the door.

"…Wait a minute!"

Eloise opened the closet door and found nothing inside. Flippy magically disappeared.

"DAMNIT! I am not going on this date alone!"

Eloise kicked into the closet at random and Flippy groaned loudly. He fell to his knees (wearing clothing that made him blend in with the closet) and started holding his crotch, coughing loudly.

"You bitch…"

* * *

"Um…I don't think I wanna do that…" said Perfect.

"Think of it this way, Splendid's not obnoxious or annoying. I mean, he doesn't make wise crack jokes or disgusting bodily noises right?"

That's when Shuger came back and sat down with an ice cream cone stacked so high that it broke into the clouds. Everyone looked up and saw the enormous ice cream with at least 2000 scoops of frozen pastry. No one even bothered asking how someone built a treat that tall, let alone how Shuger managed to carry it back to the table intact. They just stared up into the sky with "WTF?" expressions on their faces. It literally took two minutes before anyone said anything.

"So uh…how do you plan on eating that?"

Shuger looked at the ice cream tower and scratched her chin, trying to think up a plan on eating the colossal frosty treat. Then she walked away and came back with a ladder roughly the size of the ice cream cone.

"I'll be back in five minutes." said Shuger, ascending on the ladder licking every scoop of ice cream on the way.

"Don't hurt yourself!" warned Spice.

* * *

Meanwhile, Splendid was sitting next to Flippy and the others having the same conversation about his impending date.

"I don't understand why you're so nervous man!" said Flippy.

"And we don't understand why you smell like my balls, but you do…and here we are." said Handy.

Flippy growled again and stared at Handy's ice cream cone.

"Does that taste good?"

"Yes. It tastes very--"

Flippy slapped the cone out of Handy's hand and it splattered against the wall.

"GODDAMNIT!! AUGH!!"

"You've been dating Perfect for two years now. How come you're so nervous for this date?"

Splendid exhaled and everybody ducked to avoid getting frozen by ice breath.

"Sorry. The thing is, I'm thinking about proposing to Perfect tonight and I don't want _anything_ to go wrong!"

"Well as long as you guys don't go on any bridges…"

"What?"

"Flippy's a little freaked out because he had some creepy dream last night, that's all."

"Oh. Could you guys give me any pointers to this dating business?"

"First of all--"

Fally farted loudly and started laughing wildly, like a hyena, falling down on the floor while his friends were forced to inhale the odor.

"--don't do that." finished Meth.

"Why not?"

"No girl likes a man who makes disgusting bodily sounds. You have to wait until you're married, then you break wind as much as you want."

"What if we eat tacos or beans for dinner?"

"Ask her to reconsider! I'm telling you, passing gas is the meaning of success of failure when it comes to dating! If Perfect is a slob, fart away. But judging by her name…"

"Got it. No farting." confirmed Splendid.

"Taking ecstasy would help!" added Toothy, who showed up from nowhere.

"How would you know if ecstasy helps you on dating? Have you take X before?"

Toothy looked left and right. "Uhhh…"

Toothy had a short flashback four months ago when he was in a dance club dancing erotically while blowing a whistle to the beat. Picture a hyperactive Energizer Bunny with whistles in its mouth after it just snorted cocaine. That was Toothy.

"Maybe…"

"I mean, X just makes you feel like the fucking the first warm entity you smell."

"Don't you mean spot?" asked Meth.

"No, I don't…" said Fally.

"Have you taken X Cuddles?" asked Splendid.

Cuddles inhaled sharply and scratched the back of his head.

"Well…"

Cuddles had a flashback four months ago when he dancing erotically in a dance club while blowing a whistle to the beat…with Toothy.

"Maybe…"

"C'mon Splendid, it makes you feel good! Take Nutty for example." said Toothy, pointing to the sticky green squirrel.

Nutty grabbed an ice cream cone and shoved the whole thing in his mouth while giggling. And, like always, he entered a hyper active candy high and started hopping up and down, laughing like a maniac.

"He is happy all the time! He could have his entrails hanging out on the ground and he'd still be laughing his energized ass off."

"Nutty takes drugs?" asked Rhyme.

"No, but he might as well."

Mime put his head on the table and pretended like he was sniffing cocaine, swaying his head afterwards. His cousin laughed afterwards.

"We do not snort cocaine all the time!" retorted Toothy.

Mime shook his head up and down.

"I'm pretty sure you do." chuckled Rhyme.

"I, for one, smoke pot." said Fally.

"Ditto." said TJ.

Handy sat down with a fresh ice cream cone.

"OH! You got blueberry!" said TJ, snatching the cone away and licking the cone.

"GODDAMN! GODDAMNIT TJ!!!"

Handy grumbled in a frustrated tone and ran back to the counter.

"What? What I'd do?" asked TJ.

"Are we the only ones who are drug free?" asked Rhyme.

"I've kept my nose clean for two weeks now." said Flippy.

"Yeah, cause we care about what the musty bear says." said Handy.

Flippy, once again, slapped the ice cream cone out of Handy's stubs.

"Okay, I've have wasted 20 dollars because you sons-a-bitches keep swiping ice cream out of my hand!"

"Maybe it's a sign you should stop getting ice cream." suggested TJ.

"NO! You all are gonna sit here and enjoy my ice cream cone whether you like it or not!" said Handy, retreating to go get more ice cream.

"Flippy, how come you're not fuckin' with Meth's ice cream? Or mine?"

"Don't you mean Handy's ice cream cone TJ?" asked Fally.

"Yes, _my_ ice cream cone."

"And to answer your question, the reason why I'm not fucking with Meth is because he has a guitar…"

"So? I got a guitar." said Rhyme.

"I got one too." said Cuddles.

Mime pointed to himself and mimed playing a guitar.

"Yeah, he's got one too."

"Let me explain, through methods of flashback." said Flippy.

* * *

Meth and his band members were inside his garage strumming their guitars and playing their drums when Flippy came in and grabbed one of his gold ones.

"Hey what would happen if I do this?" said Flippy, taking out a pair of scissors.

Flippy then cut off all the strings of Meth's special guitar and casually said. "Whoops." Meth stared at Flippy for a while before he grabbed one of his heaviest guitars and walked over to Flippy. He then bashed his head in and rendered Flippy unconscious. Then he walked back to his group and started playing again, leaving Flippy bleeding profusely from his head.

* * *

"Handy doesn't have hands capable of cracking my head open."

"Oh."

"Let's get back to my dating dilemma people! What else do I need to cautious of?"

TJ tossed Splendid a can of breath spray.

"What's this?"

"Breath spray. The last thing any girl wants to do is kiss someone whose breath smells like a monkey cage. I'm pretty sure after you ask her to marry you, she's gonna kiss you so just spritz that in your mouth real fast."

"Anything else?"

"Nah, I think we got everything covered."

"Oh, don't go on any bridges." warned Flippy.

"It was just a dream Flippy! Get over it already!"

Handy returned and sat down with the cone in his stubs. For once, no one actually bothered to knock it out of his hands or steal it from him. Handy used all of his strength to lick the ice cream and when he got the taste in his mouth, he jumped up and shouted, "WHOO HOO!!"

As he tried to take another lick, the cone fell out his hands and splattered on the ground.

"SHIT! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"


	7. Brown Like My Heart

**Brown Like My Heart**

**A/N: After watching the trailer for Final Destination 4 (which is now on YouTube; go check it out!) I've decided to update my story a lot more.**

(Okay Splendid, okay. You can do this. It's just a date, like any normal one…)

Splendid was talking to himself in his mind, wary of his proposal situation.

(You got the flowers, you got the ring. You know where you're gonna go to and you know what you're gonna do. You're not gonna kill anyone and you're not gonna let ANYTHING disturb you. This is gonna end perfectly. In a few months, I'm gonna be a happy flying squirrel with a happy flying wife. I'm gonna be fine…just fine.)

Splendid sighed heavily and walked up to Perfect's door, extending his hand and knocking on it three times.

(Damn, I should probably use that breath spray; I just got done eating burritos a few hours ago).

Splendid dug within his pockets and took out a tiny container filled with fresh-scent air and water, then squirted it into his mouth twice. Just before the door opened, he put the breath spray into his pocket and smiled when he saw Perfect, offering her the flowers.

"Oh my God, Splendid! They're lovely!" said Perfect.

"For you my love." said Splendid, extending her the flowers.

Perfect admired the beautiful golden flowers for a few more seconds before she hugged Splendid and tossed the flowers into a vase…which broke due to the strength of her throw.

"Oops."

"Don't worry about it. It's just a vase; we could always buy more."

"So what are our plans for tonight?"

"Tonight we're going to see that movie about all the stabbing and whatnot, then I'd figure we should go to Olive Garden and afterwards, we could spend time down at Wilshire Hill. Spend some time looking at the moon and reminiscing."

"But I thought we were going to see Meth and his band perform--"

Splendid laughed boastfully. "Please, who spends their time at a large building full of thunderous ear-piercing screams and sweaty drummers and guitar players? We can always see his concert some other time. Right now…I just want to be with you."

"Oh, Splendid…" said Perfect, hugging him once again.

"Come on, let's go. Don't want to miss the movie!"

Perfect was about to fly up into the sky, but Splendid stopped her at the last second, blocking her path.

"Uh, maybe we should just walk. It is a beautiful night and all."

Perfect shrugged. "If you say so."

And so, the two heroic squirrels began to walk down the street as they continued to talk to each other…unaware that someone was lurking in the bushes next to Perfect's house. The bushes rustled loudly and muffled mischievous cackles were erupting from the insides of it. After Splendid and Perfect disappeared beyond the area, two green raccoons emerged from the shrubs, popping up like they were from a Whack-a-Mole game. It was Lifty & Shifty, and by the looks of it, they were about to cause another web of chaos.

"Aw, look at the little love squirrels!" laughed Lifty.

"I didn't know the two heroes were dating each other."

"HA HA! All the better for us! They'll be too distracted to even figure out that we'll be robbing museums all night long!"

"But what happens when Splendid's date ends and he hears someone screaming? What's gonna happen then?"

"That's why we have Kryptonut!" said Lifty, opening a box revealing a glowing green acorn.

"I've done some research and found out that not only is Kryptonut Splendid's weakness, but we can also extract the serum from--"

"Nuts don't carry serum genius."

"Shut up. We can extract vials or whatever from the nut with a syringe and put it inside stuff."

"So?"

"If we wanna make this date last longer than it should, all we gotta do is 'slow him down' if you know what I mean."

"Meaning?"

Lifty sighed. "We extract the juices from the acorn, inject it into Splendid's dinner, and go stand back a few feet to avoid getting vomit all over us."

"Oh, and we can switch his cheese with Limburger cheese!"

"Why?"

"Think about it Lifty! No one's gonna date you if your breath reeks of stinky cheese."

"That's true. Remember that time I sabotaged your date when I put Blue cheese on your hamburger when you weren't looking?!"

Lifty growled at Shifty. "Please don't remind me…"

* * *

Splendid and Perfect were waiting in line to see a movie similar to Friday the 13th, but in animal version and rumored to be much scarier. It was also very popular; the couple noticed a few blown up tents residing near the entrance. Some of the people must've camped out overnight.

"Man I can't wait to see Saturday the 15th!"

"Didn't this movie make a baby bear cry until he passed out?"

"Honey, the father of the cub was Pop; he's retarded."

"Oh."

"And besides, you know how lame the last Friday the 13th was?"

"I know! It was so stupid!"

"The only thing good about it was the part where that one dude got impaled with an arrow out of nowhere."

"Yeah, it wasn't all that great. It started to get repetitive anyway. Just another teenage horror flick where you know the only black guy and the only Asian guy is gonna get stabbed."

Splendid and Perfect sighed heavily, exhaling their frost breath into the air and freezing off the hair of a bear.

"What the hell?!"

Splendid and Perfect looked away, whistling casually like they didn't know anything. Just then, some cat wearing a blue shirt and had white fur brushed shoved Perfect down and brushed Splendid aside, muttering, "Get the fuck out my way!" and cutting in front of them.

"You okay?" asked Splendid, helping his girlfriend back up.

Perfect shook her head and began to rub her scalp. "Yeah, that jerk knocked me down and I hit my head on the wall. I am gonna kick that guy's ass!"

"I'll handle it. Just stay in line." said Splendid, walking over to the cat who shoved her down.

"Excuse me! Yo, you got a second buddy!" said Splendid, tapping the cat on the shoulder.

The cat snarled and looked over his shoulder. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You see that pink squirrel over there? The one that you just knocked over like a immodest rhino?"

The cat scoffed. "What about the bitch?"

"That's my girlfriend, who I'm seriously considering to marry very soon. We're on a date right now and I don't want anything to go wrong and right now, you're messing that up. So why don't you go walk over there and apologize, hmm? It'll make this situation a lot less aggravating."

"…No, I don't think I'm gonna do that."

Splendid chuckled. "It's not hard; just walk over to her and say you're sorry."

"Why?"

"I'm not asking again. You say you're sorry, or this isn't going to end well for you."

The cat chuckled in an arrogant tone.

"What are you gonna do? There's no way in hell a little heart-nosed flying squirrel is gonna kick my ass from here--"

"Got your nose."

"What?"

Splendid grabbed the cat's nose and ripped it off like paper in less than a second. Then Splendid grabbed the cat by its arm and twisted it around his back, snapping a few joints out of place. He then pinned him to the ground.

"It's okay! It's fine people; I'm a superhero! Everything's okay!" said Splendid, trying to calm down the onlookers.

"Now you are gonna get your ass up, walk over to my girlfriend, and say you're sorry. Or else I'm gonna break your arm and every other bone in your body. You are _not _going to ruin my date! Do you understand?" said Splendid, in a gruff tone.

Splendid raised the cat up and walked him over to his girlfriend.

"So say you're sorry."

The cat merely stood there with bated breath, eyeballing Perfect like nothing. Splendid snapped a few more bones out of place and the cat scream horribly.

"Say it!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I pushed you down okay?! I'm sorry!"

"Thank you." said Splendid, shoving the cat back down.

* * *

Splendid and Perfect were sitting in the theatre watching the movie next to a few other animals. Unlike the outside of the theatre, no one was bothering them at all and there wasn't any disturbance in the area. No one was crying or screaming behind their backs; no one was kicking on the back of the movie seats. More importantly, no one was resting their feet on the top of their chairs. It isn't noticeable, but when you're sitting in front of a person like Spiky and he decides to rest his grimy toes right above you, you're gonna notice this…cheesy fungi-smelling odor sift through the air.

Right now, nothing was happening except for the couple watching the movie, drinking soda here and there and eating a handful of popcorn after a few minutes. The movie, like the previous one, wasn't as scary as they thought, but it sure was graphic. It's not everyday where you see some maniac ripping out a guy's brains without even cutting off his scalp…

**Two hours later…**

"So how'd you like the movie? Would you say it was per--awesome?"

Splendid was about to make a dry pun about her name, but quickly stopped himself and switched his words.

"I wouldn't say awesome, but it was a pretty good movie. It was better than the last one; that's for sure!"

"Yeah. So who wants Olive Garden?" asked Splendid, holding up a few coupons.

"I DO!!" shouted Perfect, hopping up and down with joy.

* * *

Lifty and Shifty were standing behind Olive Garden, laughing mischievously while trying to acquire a set of disguises.

"Maybe we should go in as a couple of chefs. I'd make a good cook!"

"Shut up Lifty. We're going in as maintenance raccoons."

"This is a restaurant! It wouldn't be accurate if we walk in as sweaty plumbers!"

"Yes it would! People get food poisoning and diarrhea; they have to mess up the toilets sometimes."

"But can't we--"

The raccoons heard a loud crash from inside, probably a broken plate.

"GODDAMNIT!! AUGH!!" shouted someone from the kitchen.

Lifty and Shifty peered through an open window and saw Nappy staring at the ground holding his head. Apparently, he just dropped an expensive piece of china and was pretty sure that his boss would return very soon.

"Damnit, if my boss sees what I did with his fine china, I'll get fired for sure!"

Nappy snapped his fingers and looked down at a plate full of cheese.

"I got it! I'll use this cheese to glue the plate back together! It'll be like brand new!" said Nappy, grabbing the cheese and broken plate pieces.

Nappy went into one of the nearby bathrooms and Lifty and Shifty jumped through a window, landing right inside of the kitchen. The twins laughed mischievously again and examined a plate that had a card with the name **Splendid** written on it. Splendid ordered a T-bone steak with soda…and cheese on the side. But all the cheese was gone now thanks to Nappy, so their plan could work perfectly.

"Okay, let's make this simple: We extract the compound from the Kryptonut and inject the steak with it. Then we'll see just how lovely their date will be after this all-star superhero is vomiting up his lung!" said Lifty.

"And I get to replace the cheese!" said Shifty, holding up the Limburger cheese while smiling widely.

"Is that why you smell like feet?"

"Yes. That is why I smell like feet." said Shifty, flatly.

Lifty took out a syringe and carefully inserted it into the glowing green acorn, extracting some of the harmful radiation in the process. Then he looked left and right and placed the syringe into the beef, injecting the tasty meal with the poison. Lifty was very careful that he didn't extract too much, otherwise he would've made a Kryptosteak and it would glow just like a Kryptonut. But it was only a tiny extraction, so no suspicion would be aroused.

"You think Splendid is gonna notice something's wrong when he realizes his cheese smells like feet?" asked Shifty, placing sliced pieces of Limburger on the plate.

"He ordered sharp cheddar. That type of cheese already has a…unique smell to it." said Lifty.

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

Shifty held a knife up to Lifty's neck and said, "No, it doesn't."

"Okay, it doesn't; let's go."

The twins jumped back out the window and ran away from the restaurant, just in time for Nappy for appear with a half-broken plate.

"There! Good as new!"

In Nappy's perspective, that is. The plate still had noticeable cracks that were now covered with cheese, oozing their way out onto the floor. Yet if someone dropped the plate onto hard concrete from 20 feet in the air, it wouldn't even crack. Not matter how unorthodox and crazy his methods of repairing things seemed, they worked more than half the time.

"Hey, someone already replaced the missing cheese for me. Guess I'll just deliver the order to the customer…" said Nappy, taking the plate.

Back in the dining area, a bunch of animals were talking to each other whilst eating delicious and exotic meals, some of which were imported from Italy and Asia. Splendid was sitting across from his date, reminiscing with her once again and flirting with her. Then Nappy arrived and served Splendid and Perfect their meal. Perfect ordered a large salad with chicken bits inside of it and Splendid ordered the steak and cheese.

"You sure you don't want to change your order Splendid? I thought since we were going to Olive Garden you'd order something more family oriented."

"I don't know about you, but I ate steak with my family at least twice a week when I was growing up."

Perfect cocked an eyebrow. "You ate steak with cheese? Stinky cheese?"

"Sharp cheddar does not stink! It smells wonderful! See, watch."

Splendid picked up a slice of creamy smooth cheese and stroke it across his nose, sniffing it deeply.

"See? It smells--"

Splendid started coughing and gagging like he was choking on a giant coconut, unable to breathe. He stopped coughing for a few seconds and started to catch his breath, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

"See? It smells great!"

"So eat it."

"What?"

"Eat it."

"…Okay."

Splendid put the cheese into his mouth and chewed on it slowly, admiring its creamy soft texture and the flavor of it slapping on his uvula. Splendid didn't even mind the bad smell of it; whatever this kind of cheese was, it tasted great. He swallowed the cheese with glee and sighed happily.

"You see? It tastes great! Granted it is a tad bit…aromatic tonight, but you can't beat the taste of cheddar!" said Splendid, placing another slice on his tongue.

Perfect shrugged and continued to eat her salad while Splendid started to work on his steak, cutting a large chunk of it with his knife and fork. It's too bad Splendid didn't have a nose strong enough to detect to gnat sized stale odor of Kryptonut, otherwise he would've vaporized the whole meal right then and there. But then again, it was a pretty damn good steak; he'd probably eat it regardless.

* * *

About an hour after the dinner, Splendid and Perfect went to Wilshire Hill and sat at the peak of the grassy dunes, gazing up into the stars and making out with each other after ten minutes.

"You sure you don't want to make out again?" asked Splendid, in a lustful voice.

"Funny thing Splendid, but everytime you start kissing me, this intense smell of feet enters my nostrils..."

"Really???"

Splendid turned over and quietly exhaled into his hand, sniffing his breath once again. Only this time, he was shocked that it reeked of smelly cheese and feet. Splendid dug into his pocket to take out his breath spray, but as he did, his fingers slipped and the container rolled down the hill, splashing as it landed in a sewer drain.

"Son of a bitch!" whispered Splendid.

(Ah, well. It's just a little cheese on my breath. No biggie, right?) thought Splendid.

Splendid and Perfect sat up and overlooked the village, pondering deeply about the future. Splendid put her hand behind Perfect's shoulders and back and slowly dragged her towards him. He was about to pop the question.

"Perfect…"

"Yeah?"

Splendid sighed and shut his eyes, digging into his pockets to retrieve the ring. He opened his mouth again to respond, but something shot up into his throat and almost came out of his mouth. The Kryptonut was taking its effect. Splendid gulped the vomit back down and sighed heavily to contain himself.

"What is it?"

"Uh…I was gonna ask--"

The vomit shot back up and before Splendid could do anything, he held his mouth and flew over to the forest and threw his head behind a shrub so he could vomit. And he wasn't even sure why it was happening. All he knew was that sour acids and digested food was spewing out his mouth like a faucet and he was beginning to get sick. Nevertheless, nothing was going to get in the way of his goal so he walked back to Perfect, still feeling nauseous.

"I was gonna ask--"

Splendid retched inside his mouth and his stomach churned. Luckily, Perfect didn't notice.

"You wanna go back to your home?"

* * *

Splendid and Perfect were sitting on Perfect's couch watching television while Splendid was breathing slowly, trying to keep the vomit down.

"So…maybe we should stop talking and get a little more…intimate." suggested Perfect.

"I'm one for sexual intercourse--really I am--but perhaps we should just relax for the rest of the night."

Perfect planted her hand on his chest and gradually moved down until she was touching his crotch region. She smiled widely.

"Now you can't tell me this isn't giving you a hard-on…"

(Don't think about throwing up, don't think about throwing up, don't think about throwing up…damnit, you're thinking about it!!) thought Splendid.

Splendid swallowed his vomit again and sighed heavily, feeling a lot better.

(Okay…I think it passed. It was just a spur of the moment, that's all.)

"Before we do the whole sex thing, let me get this out of way."

Splendid's stomach growled loudly and he groaned once again.

"You alright Splendid?"

"Yep. It's just indigestion babe."

Splendid opened his mouth again, but his eyes suddenly grew wide when he unknowingly passed gas right in front of Perfect, compelling her to raise an eyebrow.

"What the hell was that?"

"A balloon! That was-that was just a balloon!"

(Damnit Splendid just say it!)

"Okay, let me make this simple: I've wanted to ask you something--something for a very long time but my stomach is acting up for some reason and it is getting in the way of that, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I'm gonna ask right now, right at this very moment. At the time of ten twenty-seven, I am going to ask this question. I'm gonna ask it right now."

"Jesus Christ, what's the damn question?!" asked Perfect, suddenly getting irritated.

Splendid inhaled sharply and opened his mouth. Just as he was about to pop the question, something that felt like an anvil hit his bowels and slowly traveled to his rectum. Splendid's stomach churned with a grotesque sound and Splendid bent over holding his torso with his legs shaking. Splendid looked up and Perfect and asked the question.

"Where's your bathroom?"

* * *

Splendid rushed into Perfect's latrine and locked the door, gazing at the toilet with weak knees. He ran over to the toilet and sat down, panting like crazy. That's when the shit began to hit the fan…or the inside of the toilet bowl. Splendid was farting and defecating like crazy, panting and groaning with massive abdominal pain. It'd stop for about a second or two, but his stomach would rumble again and the next thing he knew, crap was flying out his ass. It was like he was constipated, but he was still pooping regardless so the excrement was pressing against his anal sphincter. It felt like his bowels were getting crushed.

"Splendid, are you okay?" asked Perfect, knocking on the door.

"Just--ERGH!!!--just fine honey."

Splendid stopped pooping after a while and sighed with relief, holding his stomach.

"Okay…I think it's all gone. I think--"

Splendid opened his mouth and started vomiting all over the floor. Due to his powerful vomit, some of the material shot up from the rug and slammed into the mirror, making a giant mess. Even worse, Splendid had to use the bathroom again and he began to fart and crap all over the toilet once again. Splendid was groaning loudly while holding his stomach until he began to vomit all over the bathroom again, shattering the mirror and cracking the wall. It was the worse feeling in the world; vomiting and taking a huge dump at the same time. But that wasn't the worst part. See, Splendid held in a large accumulation of his throw up and somehow, it all rushed down to his bowels and instantly transformed into more crap, so when all of it shot out his anus, it splashed and splattered all over Splendid and the bathroom. He opened his mouth to scream, but there was vomit in it, so he began to throw up…again.

Anyways, after vomiting and defecating for a solid five…twenty minutes, he was done. Splendid was sitting on the toilet, whimpering and sighing at the same time. He wasn't sure what happened, but he had a feeling his bowels were ruptured and his throat was deteriorating from the acid. Then again, he was a superhero so maybe he was fine. Although his girlfriend was gonna be pissed…

"Okay…it's all gone. I'm…fine." sighed Splendid.

Splendid got off the toilet, slipping on the vomit in the process, and turned around to look inside the toilet, amazed it hadn't overflowed yet.

"Wow, I should eat more bran…" said Splendid.

He planted his finger on the flush lever and watched as the toilet flushed, sighing and falling to the floor. Sure, he ruined his girlfriend's bathroom, but all he had to do now was go ask Perfect to marry her. At this point, he didn't care if his breath smelled like feet or if he was covered in vomit. If his girlfriend truly loved him, she'd say yes regardless. …And then kick his ass for fucking up her bathroom. Suddenly, the toilet began to gurgle and shake.

"What the hell?"

All the toilet water and crap shot out of the toilet like a faucet on its highest setting or a fountain in a national park. Unfortunately, it was showering Perfect's bathroom with smelly water filled with fecal matter, instead of crisp, clean H2O. Splendid screamed and fanatically looked around the bathroom, panting.

"Perfect's gonna kill me!"

Splendid zapped his laser vision at the toilet to boil the water, but instead of boiling it, he only made it hotter and accidentally broke the toilet completely, shooting water from the toilet pipe system into the air as well. Splendid tried to cease the water by blocking it with his hands, but the water simply shot around him and the floor. Splendid shouted in disgust and backed away, slipping on all the vomit and poop. The door suddenly burst open and Perfect revealed herself, gasping and holding her head as she saw the muck. Splendid got back up and turned around, surprised to find Perfect staring at him. He shut his eyes and smiled while scratching the back of his head.

"Heh heh…little accident…"

* * *

Splendid was resting in the hospital, watching TV while laying on one of the hospital beds. After Perfect kicked him out of her house and he walked home, he passed out due to the Kryptonut poison. A bystander found him lying on the street and called 911. Sadly, Splendid never found the time to propose to Perfect, but he always had the chance to try again. But it wasn't going to be today or tomorrow or the next week…or the next month. Perfect was really pissed at Splendid and even though he offered to clean up the mess with her, she didn't accept because she thought more diarrhea would just fly out his ass while they were mopping. Splendid weakly lifted a remote and changed the channel to the local news. It was a good thing Splendid didn't take Perfect to Meth's concert. Apparently, two people died; one died in a "bizarre" accident and another was mauled to death right above the stage. No one heard anything due to the loud music and there weren't any witnesses. Also, a local museum had been robbed of all its paintings and jewels and there are currently no leads.

If Splendid was there and not at Wilshire Hill, maybe he would've heard the screams…


	8. Evan

**Evan**

Spiky was never a morning person. It was just something about the sun shining in his face that made him…grumpy. But what really made him grumpy was waking up early…on Saturday. Today was Saturday…moreover it was seven in the morning. See, Spiky had an alarm clock set for seven every morning so he wouldn't be late for work on the weekdays, but for some reason, he wasn't able to set the timer off. So unfortunately, every Saturday he would wake up at seven, grumpy as hell and pissed off. Spiky groaned and turned over, burying his head into his pillow. But the alarm clock he had installed would gradually beep louder and more rapidly if the owner didn't wake up after ten seconds, so it was slowly getting louder by the second.

"Shut…up." growled Spiky.

But the timer merely mocked him. It was like it was saying, "GET! UP!" in beep format. Spiky growled and clutched his pillow, ready to tear the thing apart with his hands. Spiky grabbed one of his trophies and banged on the clock with it over and over and over again until somehow, it would magically shut off. It just so happened the clock he bought was indestructible and solar powered, so everytime the sun shined on the clock…it'd go off. But now that he was up, there was no point in going back to sleep now. Spiky groaned and planted his feet on the floor, yawning loudly and scratching his stomach. Spiky looked like Flippy in the morning, wearing nothing besides a dirty tank-top. He got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, urinating like a horse into the toilet. Then he brushed his teeth and walked back into his room, bashing the alarm clock with his trophy once again.

"I hate you." growled Spiky, pointing at the clock.

* * *

Spiky was sitting on his couch in his living room watching TV with his feet propped up on his table. He just got done eating breakfast about a half-hour ago and it was almost eleven in the morning right now. He wasn't as grumpy as before, but he had a crossbow sitting next to the couch. The thing about Spiky was that Saturday was his "special" day. Anyways, after watching the ESPN for a few minutes, his daughter came in holding Spiky's socks from afar.

"Dad, what were your socks doing in my room?"

Spiky shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Look pop, I know it's Saturday and today's your day to have fun, but do _not _leave your socks in my room!!"

"What's so bad about some leftover socks?"

"Have you ever smelled your dirty socks? IT IS NOT PLEASANT!!"

"C'mon, how bad could it be?" said Spiky, taking his socks from his daughter.

Curious, Spiky sniffed his socks twice and quickly plugged his nose, holding his socks as far away from him as possible. Even so, Spiky still proceeded to wear his stinky socks and relax on his couch, being as lazy as ever.

"Yet, you still wear them…" moaned Flaky.

"Saturday…" said Spiky, smiling.

"Whatever. Can you take me to Meth's concert tonight? I hear he's gonna perform _SCREAM_ and I don't want to miss it!"

"I thought you agreed never to go to concert's again? Not since the last 'experience' you had."

"Don't remind me."

"And cue the flashback!"

* * *

"JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!"

"C'MON! FLAKY! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA STAGE DIVE!!" shouted Spiky.

Flaky was nervously standing on the edge of the stage, facing a humongous crowd of fans who were shouting and cheering like crazy. Her father already jumped from the stage and was carried to the back of the crowd by all the fans of the band members.

"C'MON FLAKY!! JUMP!!!" commanded Spiky.

"Well, um…okay."

Flaky jumped off the stage into the crowd, screaming wildly with joy. However, at the very last second, everyone realized that Flaky was a hedgehog covered in spiky quills…and dandruff. So everyone screamed and moved out the way, leaving the stage barren, excluding Lumpy. Flaky shrieked at the last second and landed right on top of Lumpy and his antlers, which impaled her in the back.

"Huh?" wondered Lumpy, looking up to see that his head was bleeding.

Unfortunately, Flaky landed backwards so her sharp quills impaled Lumpy in the scalp and now both of them were bleeding. Lumpy and Flaky screamed and Lumpy started to run around in circles like and idiot, hoping someone would help him get the red hedgehog out of his scalp.

* * *

"Oh, yeah! I remember that! Didn't we have to cut off half your quills just to get you free?"

"Yeah, Dad! It took me four years to grow 'em back!"

"Well I can't take you to the concert today! I gotta take my friend to a concert anyways. He's supposed to be one of the floor managers or stage directors or something."

"Is it for the concert near HTF coliseum? That's the one where Meth's holding his! Couldn't you just give me a ride with your friend--Do not shoot the lamp!!!"

While Flaky was talking, Spiky grabbed his crossbow and placed an arrow inside it, aiming it at one of the lamps on the table beside the couch.

"…It's Saturday." said Spiky.

"Do NOT shoot that lamp."

Spiky and Flaky stared at each other for literally 30 seconds with faceless expressions before Spiky released the bow, shattering the lamp into nothing but broken glass. Flaky sighed heavily.

"I don't understand what's so special about Saturdays!"

"Saturdays are days where a guy can sit on his ass and be as lazy as he wants to and not give a damn what anyone else thinks and do whatever he wants to. Hence the reason why I still wear my smelly socks and dirty tank-top."

"So you become Pop every Saturday."

"That is not true! I am a mischievous lazy bastard; Pop is retard. Big difference."

"Not really. You just know how to take care of your offspring more."

"Exactly my point!"

"Dad, half the time it gets to this point in the conversation, you know that I'm gonna keep asking you until you agree. Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No."

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No." **(10)**

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No." **(11)**

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"No." **(12)**

**247 "Can you take me to Meth's concert?"s later…**

"Can you take me to Meth's concert?"

"Are you gonna stop asking me?!!?"

"Yes."

"Okay, fine."

"Cool!! I get to go to Meth's concert! Thanks Daddy!" said Flaky, kissing his father on the cheek.

"Ugh…"

"So you sure you don't have a problem taking me to the concert tonight?"

"You should go now."

"Dad it's not even noon yet. The concert doesn't start till nine."

"No I mean you should go get out of the living room; I ate a bunch of omelets filled with chili and cheese this morning."

Spiky's stomach growled and he passed gas audible enough for Flaky to hear. Flaky sniffed the air and quickly plugged her nose, while Spiky was smiling and snickering under his breath.

"Damnit Dad, what is with you and farting?!"

"I told you, it's funny! And my bowels represent a nuclear power plant."

"How can you compare your bowels to a nuclear power plant?"

Spiky's stomach growled once again and he began to chuckle.

"You'd better leave now; I think the reactor's about to go critical!"

Flaky yelped and ran out of the room while Spiky's stomach continued to growl. Spiky leaned over, grunted, and blasted a giant fart that stunk up the whole living room and left the couch extremely warm. Spiky laughed and sniffed the air deeply, holding his nose and chuckling afterwards.

"WHOO!! EVERYBODY PANIC!!! THE CORE MATERIAL'S AIRBORNE!!!" he howled, shortly before he started laughing and rolling around on the floor.

* * *

Ryley was impatiently pacing in the front of his yard, waiting for Spiky to come and pick him up. Ryley was a yellow cat with a black tail…and one of his eyes looked a little swollen. Ryley just got out of the hospital a few weeks ago after suffering a severe case of pink eye not too long ago. Ryley was always made fun of, criticized for having nine lives even though he really only had one. But then again, he had gotten himself out of life-threatening situations pretty fast…and always at the last second. Eventually, the criticism became praise and a bunch of people hung around Ryley a lot more because of how lucky he was. Somewhere along the line, he gained popularity and found Meth at a local bar. Now he works security and floor manager at all of his concerts.

"God, where the hell is he? I gotta get to the concert so we can set everything up!" said Ryley, looking at his watch.

After asking himself that question, Spiky stormed into Ryley's driveway in his blue Mercedes.

"Get in." said Spiky, sticking his head out the driver window.

Ryley sighed and looked at Spiky's filthy tank-top and noticed the crossbow next to his car seat.

"Saturday?"

"Saturday."

Ryley got into the passenger side of the car and sat down as Spiky began to drive down the street.

"So what are you planning on doing today?"

"I have a crossbow; I think that'll be enough entertainment for me today." said Spiky, smiling.

Ryley smelled the air twice and covered his nose with his arm.

"What's up with you car? Why's it smell like stale ass?"

Spiky leaned over and grunted really hard, just before he passed gas and started laughing like a hyena.

"Does that answer your question?!" laughed the porcupine.

"Oh, God…"

Ryley tried to roll down the window, but Spiky grabbed his crossbow and quickly fired two arrows next to his hand, both of which were mere warning shots.

"Don't roll down the window."

"Why not?! You already know how bad it stinks when you fart in the car!"

"That's exactly my point!" said Spiky, leaning over and passing gas once more.

Spiky continued to thrash around like an idiot, howling with laughter while his friend was clutching his eye and holding his nose.

"Damnit Spiky, my eyes are burning!! Stop farting already!!"

Spiky stopped laughing and began to collect his breaths, sighing heavily.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. I'll just fire at random cars with my crossbow."

"But you're driving!"

"Yeah…"

Ryley sighed exasperatedly as Spiky grabbed his crossbow and loaded it with an arrow, aiming it out of his window.

"So are you and your daughter going to the city tomorrow?"

"Yeah and then we're gonna come back the day after that. You know Flaky's favorite baseball team is playing there, right?"

"The Hedgehogs? That's a very corny name for a baseball team."

"What're you gonna do? Everyone on the team's a hedgehog; go figure."

Spiky shut one of his eyes and fired his arrow at Handy's pick-up truck, hitting one of the tires.

"What the fuck?!?" yelled Handy.

Handy was unable to maintain control of his vehicle and the amputee beaver wound up crashing his truck into a telephone pole, severely mangling the front bumper and shattering the front window.

"SHIT!!!"

Spiky chuckled to himself and got another arrow when he came to a stoplight and was blocked by another driver.

"OH, WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!! GO ALREADY; THE LIGHT'S GREEN!!!"

"Shut the fuck up Spiky! You want that cop over there to see us?!" asked Ryley.

"Goddamnit, stop being such a fuck-tard and move your fucking car!" growled Spiky, still annoyed by the slow-moving car.

"Hello!!! COP CAR!"

"Can you get arrested for shooting arrows at random vehicles?"

"That's like doing a drive-by! You know how gay it's gonna look to get arrested for Medieval Drive-By? Do you seriously want to be the first person arrested for a fuckin' MDB???" asked Ryley.

"...I'm strangely okay with that." said Spiky, firing the arrow.

The driver of the car swerved off the road after the arrow punctured the tire and rolled down a hill with numerous metal crushing sounds. It was amazing that the cop next to Spiky didn't even notice.

"Oh, that was so awesome!!"

Spiky took out another arrow and aimed it at two men who were emptying a large tank filled with reeking waste material.

"Hey, check this out." chuckled Spiky.

He let go of the arrow and it made contact with the septic tank that the two squirrels were emptying and as a result, the tank blew and doused both of them in a brown cesspool full of bodily waste. Spiky couldn't help but laugh his ass off at the sight.

"What the hell's wrong with you?"

"HEY! It is Saturday."

Spiky searched under his dashboard and pulled out an Uzi, cocking the submachine gun.

"…What are you doing…?"

"Nothing…now just turn this corner so I can do something that could get you thrown in prison for accessory."

"WHAT?!!?"

"SHALOM MUTHAFUCKERS!!!!" screamed Spiky.

Spiky then fired a bunch of arrows from his machine gun at random pedestrians resting along side an SUV. Spiky wasn't aiming for kill shots though, as he wasn't a violent porcupine by heart. He was just stupid on Saturdays is all. None of the arrows even hit the people standing next to the SUV; Spiky just wanted to wreck their car for some reason. After the pedestrians realized they were facing incoming fire, they hid behind a trash can while Spiky blasted arrows at the SUV. One of them hit the gas tank and the car burst into flames, spraying hot metal and glass all over a network of convenient stores.

"…You got issues dude."

"Only on Saturday!"

* * *

Later that night, everyone was attending Meth's rock hard concert which was going to begin very soon. The crowd was already filled with thousands of screaming fans wearing black T-shirts that said "**Meth**" in bloody red letters and had a picture of Meth and his band under the lettering. Of these two fans were Flaky and Spiky, who were in the back of the studio eating a couple of sandwiches shortly before the performance. Spiky stopped eating for a moment and surreptitiously grabbed his bow and arrow, aiming it at his daughter's sandwich.

"Do NOT shoot my sandwich." said Flaky, flatly.

Flaky and Spiky stared at each other in a nonchalant sort of tone and waited 30 seconds for something to happen, blinking every ten seconds. Then, he let go of the arrow and destroyed her sandwich, splattering mustard on her face. Flaky sighed exasperatedly while her father smiled widely.

* * *

Ryley was backstage drinking a cup of water while standing next to a cart full of desserts and all other sorts of treats. He was wearing a black shirt that "**Security" **in big white letters on the back of it. In fact, many stage directors and maintenance men were wearing shirts similar to Ryley's, including his partner Moss. His partner Moss was a red cat who wasn't wearing anything except for his black security T-shirt. When he was born, his eyes were muddy green and looked like moss…hence the name. While Ryley was standing next to the pastry cart, Moss was high up in the stage overlooking the lighting fixtures and support beams to make sure they didn't fall down and crush Meth and his band to death.

"Moss, what's your status on the structure?" asked Ryley via portable radio.

"We're all clear up here. I found a loose bolt in one of the light fixtures, but I fixed with my maintenance gear. How's it looking on your end?"

Ryley sighed heavily. "This guy Nutty keeps trying to steal all the food! He always--"

Ryley stopped talking when he turned around and noticed that Nutty was noisily slurping on a plate full of brownies.

"HEY! Get away from that you sticky bastard! Those brownies aren't for you!"

Nutty took out a rubber band and flicked Ryley right in the eye, causing him to shout horribly and fall on the ground.

"OW, MY FUCKING EYE!!"

Nutty continued to giggle until he grabbed a whole bunch of plates at once and shouted out, "MINE!" before running away, laughing like a hyena. Too bad he didn't notice that he dropped a brownie near the cart. Ryley grumbled angrily and retreated to the bathroom with a towel. However, the janitor came by to clean up the mess while whistling casually to himself. After mopping up the spilled treats and making the floor spotless, the janitor sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead, resting against the bathroom door. He was about to go wash his hands, but remembered that the pipe systems busted not too long ago and the bathroom wasn't functioning properly. So he took out an **"OUT OF ORDER"** sign and placed it on the door, blocking it with his mop and cleaning bin. Unfortunately, Ryley was still inside…

"Ryley! Status check!"

Ryley groaned and placed a wet towel over his eye before he got back on his radio.

"Ugh…you don't think Meth and his gang are gonna be pissed if they don't eat their desserts, do you?"

"Did Nutty steal all the brownies again?!"

"…Maybe…" said Ryley meekly.

Moss groaned and said, "This is the sixth time Ryley! At the rate you're going, you're gonna get fired!"

"Well I'm sorry that Nutty is armed with rubber bands! It's not my fault my eyes are sensitive!"

"They're not that sensitive."

"You have any idea what it feels like to have a rubber band thwack you in your cornea? It's like having a fuckin' pole jammed in my cerebellum!"

"…I don't know what those words mean."

"Shut up Moss!" said Ryley, shutting off his radio.

After massaging his eye for a couple more minutes, Ryley retreated to one of the urinals and began to pee, sighing contently.

"RYLEY!!"

Ryley yelped and shifted over to the left in the process, urinating on the wall a little.

"Damnit Moss, don't do that! You know how hard it is to get pee stains out of tile?"

"What?"

"Nothin'. What are you calling me for?"

"The performance is gonna start soon. You better get back up here so you can see. Never know if there's a sniper aiming for Meth's skull."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll be up in about five minutes."

"Oh and uh…is there something wrong with your nametag?"

Ryley took off his nametag and looked at it.

"Nope. Why?"

"Mine has three long claw marks on it…weird huh?"

"No. A bear probably scratched it too hard. See ya upstairs." said Ryley, getting off the radio.

Ryley walked over to the sink and began to wash his hands, getting a few globs of soap and washing the filth down the drain until he was satisfied that his paws were clean. He turned off the faucet and walked over to the door…only to walk back to the sink when it gurgled loudly.

"Huh?"

Ryley looked at the sink and heard it gurgle several times, even though no water was present. Then, out of nowhere, it shot out with a loud crack as though it were a gunshot. Ryley gasped and took a step backwards, examining the faucet with anticipation. Suddenly, the faucet shot out water with three loud cracks, all of which were loud enough to startle Ryley and force him to inadvertently chuck his radio backwards into the toilet. Ryley turned around and sighed heavily, walking to the toilet to retrieve his radio.

"You little bastard…"

Ryley kneeled down and hesitated at first. It was a toilet bowl after all and…it was filled with toilet water, something cats DO NOT like. But he ignored it and jammed his hand into the toilet, shoving it down the hole and getting the radio. Somehow, the radio instantly fell into the pipe system and if Ryley hadn't grabbed it in time, it'd be lost within the sewers. So Ryley began to pull his arm back out so he could go back up to the stage. That's when his arm got caught.

"What--"

Ryley yanked two more times and the toilet made a loud clank, indicating that his arm was stuck.

"Come on…come on, come on!" said Ryley.

Ryley heard a loud bang from behind and turned around, realizing that the faucet was now on full blast and the water was spilling over the sink. The plug that was used to cover the faucet hole rolled into the sink and covered it, leaving no exit point for the water. Even now, Ryley could look down and feel the fur on his knees getting wet. Ryley was about to put his other arm into the toilet, but then he remembered that that arm would get stuck too. Ryley started swearing to himself, frantically looking around the bathroom to find something that would free his arm from the toilet. During that time, the faucet went on an even higher setting and water began to spray all over the sink, filling up the bathroom even more. When the water began to rise up to Ryley's torso, he knew that the situation was becoming fatal. In another couple of minutes, he'd drown.

"FUCK!! Jesus! You fuckin'…"

Ryley began to panic and started to tug on his arm with his other arm, shouting out loud when he heard something pop. He just dislocated his shoulder.

"COME ON GODDAMNIT!!"

Ryley looked over at the faucet and realized that he had to turn it off, so he grabbed his cellphone and chucked it at the faucet. Unfortunately, the cellphone shattered and it didn't work. So he grabbed a pencil and threw that at faucet as well, but to no avail. Lastly, he grabbed a metal rod from his pocket and chucked that at the faucet…which knocked the whole thing out of socket and caused more water to spew into the bathroom. Ryley groaned and turned back over to the toilet, resuming his yanking. The water was so high that everytime Ryley dipped his head down, his whiskers would get wet.

"FUCK!!!!" screamed Ryley.

Before Ryley could say anymore, the water reached his mouth and he began to tread water. Ryley repeatedly dunked his head up and down to avoid having water get into his nostrils, but after another 20 seconds, he was fully submerged. Ryley looked at his stuck arm while holding his breath and pulled so hard part of his fur was beginning to come off. Ryley gritted his teeth and pulled one last time, shouting with massive relief when his arm finally got out. Ryley looked at his arm and chuckled nervously, alive and shocked at what happened. He found a fire extinguisher and began to fire the device at the water.

"…Wait a second, what the fuck am I doing? This isn't a fire!!" said Ryley, feeling retarded.

He threw the extinguisher aside and slowly walked over to the door, amazed that the water was still rising. About another minute and he wouldn't even be able to stand without his face being submerged. Ryley twisted the door knob, but was shocked that it was locked. The janitor's supplies were blocking it from the other side.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!" screamed Ryley.

He slammed his whole body into the door, trying to get free or hoping that someone would hear him from the outside.

"HELLO!?! SOMEONE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!"

Ryley turned around and tried to look for something of value; a chair, some weights, even the toilet would be useful right at this moment. But Ryley was slowly running out of time, as the water already reached his mouth…

* * *

"What the…don't tell me those pipes burst again!" moaned the janitor.

He moved his cleaning stuff away and was thrown backwards when Ryley bashed down the door, exposing hundreds of gallons of water. Both of them were carried down the corridor by the large wave, but recovered from their injuries and got back up. Ryley coughed twice before vomiting up some water, and sighing with relief.

"What the hell happened!?" asked Ryley, exhausted.

"My bad. I didn't know anyone was in there! Didn't anyone tell you the pipes burst?"

"NO!!"

"Oh…well, oops."

"Just go back to your post. I'll take care of this."

The janitor ran off while Ryley looked at the carnage and sighed.

"Shit I'm lucky."

Ryley stood up and fell backwards onto the cart when he slipped on a brownie. It was the same brownie that Nutty dropped earlier. Ryley groaned and gasped when the cart began to roll down the corridor.

"Huh?"

Ryley looked forward and started to scream when it looked like he'd hit the wall. Instead, the cart's wheel got caught on the rug and immediately stopped, hurling Ryley into the air. Ryley thought he'd hit the wall, but at the last second, a rusty pipe lost its bolts and shifted down a few inches and impaled him in the eye. Blood squirted all over the wall and the eyeball lodged itself inside the pipe, slowly rolling back out and landing on the floor. Ryley's body squeaked like a window getting wiped as his body slid to the end of the pipe, hanging in mid-air like a display for a museum.

* * *

Moss was standing above the stage, waiting for his partner Ryley to show up, but he never came.

"Ryley? Come in Ryley." said Moss over the radio.

But the radio merely replied by giving him static.

"Ryley?"

Still nothing. All he had was static. Moss shook his head and put the radio away.

"Screw it. He'll see the performance from backstage I guess. Although the view from up here is amazing!"

Moss looked down and saw the band all geared up and ready to perform, with Meth up front holding a guitar. All the fans were screaming bloody murder, excited to see one of the greatest guitar players perform in front of a huge crowd such as themselves. The name of the song they were singing was Scream, so after the crowd screamed for a few seconds, the band began to play the first few notes while one of Meth's side guitarists played a few more notes. Then the band repeated this process three more times before they began to sing the words.

"_Caught up in this madness, too blind to see_

_Woke animal feelings in me_

_Took over my sense and I lost control_

_I'll taste your blood tonight."_

They stopped singing for a moment to increase their guitar strumming and drumming, but eventually, it started again.

"_You know I make you wanna screeeeeaaaaaammm_

_You know I make you wanna run from me baby_

_But know it's too late you've wasted all your tiiiiiimmmeee!!"_

And like always, the drummer said, "Yeah." right after that line.

"_Relax while you're closing_ _your eyes to me_

_So warm as I'm setting you free_

_With your arms by your side, there's no struggling_

_Pleasure's all mine this time."_

Again, the singing stopped momentarily, but eventually, it began again.

"_You know I make you wanna screeeeaaaaammm_

_You know I make you wanna run from me baby_

_But know it's too late you've wasted all your tiiiiiimmmmmmeeee!!!"_

"Yeah! Here comes my favorite part!" said Moss over the music.

In fact, Moss just happened to join along with Meth and his band. No one could see him or hear his horrible voice, so why the fuck not?

"_Cherishiiinnggg, those feelings pleeeaaasuriiiiiing!!!_

_Cover meeeeeee, unwanted cleeeemen-caaaaaay!!_

_Scream till there's silence_

_Scream while there's life left_

_VAAAAANISHIIIIIING_

_Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire_

_PEEEEEEERISHIIIIINNG!!!"_

Ironically, when Meth and his band said "Perishing" a dark figure grabbed Moss from behind and began to choke him with his arm. Moss gagged and groaned, trying to fight off the assailant to scream for help. But no one saw him and the music continued…

"_We've all had our time where we've lost control_

_We've all had our time to grow_

_I'm hoping I'm wrong but I know I'm right_

_I'll hunt again one night."_

Somewhere along the line, Moss scratched the assailant in the arm and he let go of his throat. Moss turned around to face the creature and noticed it had dark red skin and was wearing a black shirt…and had an odd set of wings like a bat. It was Tarz…and he was hungry.

"_You know I make you wanna screeeeaaaaammm_

_You know I make you wanna run from me baby_

_But know it's too late you've wasted all your tiiiiiimmmmmmeeee!!_

_Cherishiiinnggg, those feelings pleeeaaasuriiiiiing!!!_

_Cover meeeeeee, unwanted cleeeemen-caaaaaay!!_

_Scream till there's silence_

_Scream while there's life left_

_VAAAAANISHIIIIIING_

_Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire_

_PEEEEEEERISHIIIIINNG!!!"_

Then Meth broke away from his microphone and busted out in this insane guitar solo after sliding across the stage on his knees, making everyone scream and shout even more. And the whole time he was doing this, Moss was trying to fend off Tarz with an ordinary pocket knife he stole from a tool box. Despite the fact he stabbed Tarz over five times, he didn't die or even get hurt. Eventually, Tarz grabbed his arm and twisted it, breaking it and forcing Moss to drop the knife. Even though he howled with pain, no one heard him over Meth and his solo.

The band began to sing once again as Tarz continued to damage Moss…

"_Soooommmee liiiive repressing their instinctive feelings_

_Prooooooteeeeeessst the way we're built don't put the blame on me_

_Scream scream screeeeaaaaam the way you would if I _

_Ravaged your boooodddd-aaay!!_

_Scream scream screeeeaaam the way you would if I_

_RAVAGED YOUR MIIIIIIIND!!!" _

By the time they were done with that line, Moss was lying on the floor brutally ravaged by Tarz, barely recognizable by anyone else. The red cat wheezed several times and tried to crawl to the stairs, but it was no use. Tarz stomped on his back and pinned him down.

Meth and his band continued…

"_Cherishiiinnggg, those feelings pleeeaaasuriiiiiing!!!_

_Cover meeeeeee, unwanted cleeeemen-caaaaaay!!_

_Scream till there's silence_

_Scream while there's life left_

_VAAAAANISHIIIIIING_

_Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire_

_PEEEEEEERISHIIIIINNG!!!"_

Tarz dragged Moss behind a dark corner while he continued to scream and thrash his body towards freedom. Tarz settled him down by slashing him in the face, leaving three huge claw marks that broke all the way down to his nasal cavity. The band finished up the last 20 seconds of the song while Tarz was busy eating and destroying Moss with his teeth and claws, mangling it so much that all that could be seen was blood and the body of what used to be a cat. After the song finished, everyone waited for the onlookers to cheer their names and scream until their throats were sore. Suddenly, an eyeball from Moss bounced off the drummer's head. The drummer picked it up and called Meth's name.

"Hey Meth!"

"Yeah?"

"Did you lose an eyeball?" asked the drummer, showing it to Meth.

"Um…no."

"Oh. Nevermind then." said the drummer, tossing the eye behind him.

* * *

About two hours later, 30 minutes after the concert was over, the janitor and a few other stage directors found Ryley's body hanging by the pipe and Moss's body lying in the corner. There weren't any witnesses anywhere and by the looks of it, Ryley was the victim of a freak accident. Moss on the other hand must've been brutally murdered by someone who they don't know.

It was right around this time when Splendid saw the news story in his hospital bed. Perhaps if he weren't on his date with Perfect…or having bowels problems in her bathroom, this might've been avoided.

**A/N: Did YOU spot the clues foreshadowing Ryley and Moss's deaths? :) And if anyone asks, the whole "Saturday" bit was from the TV show The Whitest Kids U Know.**


	9. Conundrum

**Conundrum **

It was almost two in the morning in the HTF village and everybody was asleep or away in the city. Everyone…except for Flippy. Ever since he found out about the two deaths at Meth's concert and kept having vague visions of his dream, he was slowly developing a case of insomnia. This wasn't the first time something like this has happened to Flippy, but for some reason, he just felt wary. It was like the world was trying to tell him that something ominous was watching him, stalking his every move. It was like a presence was following him…an evil one. Flippy was sweating at the moment, channel surfing to find some late night program or cheap porno movie that would help him survive the night. But nothing appeased his mind. Flippy drank a glass of water resting on his nightstand and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He sighed exasperatedly and flipped the channel one more time, stepping on a late night TV talk show.

"…and so here tonight, we have a guest who wants to discuss this sinister 'presence' that may be the cause of these accidents." said the talk show host.

"Thanks for having me David. And I appreciate you using the word sinister instead of supernatural or paranormal. We're not talking about ghosts or phantoms here."

"Well, now you can set the record straight."

"Okay. Well, I believe that there's a…force out there that controls how and when we die. It's like a feeling that is with us all the time everywhere we go. There's no real word to describe this force so many people, like me, simply call it Death itself."

"Wait a minute; you're saying I'm surrounded by Death everyday all the time?"

"Absolutely. See, this is what I'm trying to get people to understand; what to warn people about."

"I don't follow."

"Let's take the crash that happened at the HTF Theater. A person had a vision that the whole place would collapse and everyone inside would die gruesomely so he freaked out and dragged many of his friends outside to avoid their deaths and, just like in his vision, the theater collapsed."

"Just because an accident occurred at a local attraction site and a person had a dream or vision of it happening doesn't prove your claim."

"True, but what about the aftermath?"

"What aftermath?"

"All the survivors of the theater collapsing wound up dying a few months later in bizarre and random accidents."

"And the fact that these people are dead is proof that Death exists?"

"…Well, it's not the fact they died, but moreover _how_ they all died. I mean, there were so many random, haphazard things that happened to them after the incident; none of it made sense. One was crushed by his own car in his garage; another was severed in half by a telephone pole. Hell, some woman had her breasts torn open by a jackhammer. You can't look at me with a straight face and say that that's normal. That's proof that there's something out there."

Flippy was intrigued by this talk show and couldn't take his eyes off the TV screen.

"People die all the time; this is just mere coincidences that took place after the incident. What makes you think that this explains your phenomenon?"

"Because these events forced people to question these 'coincidences'. And it makes you wonder if there's a way to face this force head on or even—"

"Are you listening to yourself right now? You're saying that we should be on guard everyday when we so much as leave the house?"

**"Flippy…"**

Flippy turned around after hearing an odd voice, but saw nothing and only felt a chilling breeze run through his fur.

"That's _exactly _what I'm saying. The only way we can survive nowadays is to look beneath the confinements of our world. In the end, no one can escape death…and today may be your day to die…"

* * *

It was approximately 2:07 p.m. and dozens of vehicles were traveling along a bridge that led to the country road and into the city. Everyone was heading into town to go sight-seeing and partying after the mayor built a whole supply of new buildings and tourist attractions, like the HTF Park and International Airport for example. The sun was shining and it was very hot on a day like today, but it was also the perfect day for adventure. That's why Flippy and his pals decided to go into the city for their own enjoyment. Right now, the van Flippy and his friends were driving in was blaring loudly. The music inside was this hardcore metal song that Meth had played two days ago at his concert. Sure, loud music is annoying, but when you have someone like T.J. and Flippy screeching the lyrics at the top of their lungs…it tends to be extremely vexing.

"Cherishiiiing, those feelings pleasuriiiiing!!!" sang Flippy.

"Cover meeeeee, unwanted clemen-caaaaaayy!!!" sang T.J.

Then both bears began to sing in unison:

"Scream till there's silence!"

"Scream while there's life left!"

"VAAAAAANISHIIIIIING!!!"

"Scream from the pleasure!"

"Unmask your desire!"

"PEEEERRRIIIISHIIIIINGG!!"

"God I love this song!! What's it called?" asked T.J.

"Gee, what are we doing right now T.J.?" asked Flippy.

"Um…screaming?"

"There ya go!"

"They named a song called 'Scream'?" asked Sherry.

"Finally! Someone made a song that explains what you gotta do to get someone's attention!" said Fally.

"Fally, your name's Fally and you smoke a pound of pot everyday. You already got enough attention as it is." said T.J.

Fally raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Who cares what it means?! We're going to the city baby! H-T-F!!"

"…I think all that smoke is getting to your head T.J." laughed Flippy.

"…Wait a second, what the fuck?!"

"What?" asked Sherry.

"How'd I know I was gonna say that?!" asked Flippy.

"Okay, nothing you said makes any sense at all Flippy."

"No, it's like déjà vu! After I said that, T.J.'s gonna say—"

"Says the schizophrenic bear who murders anyone when he flips out!"

"SEE?! I knew you were gonna say that!"

"Okay, Einstein. If you're so smart, then what's gonna happen next?" asked Fally.

"I'm gonna see my 'other' self in the rearview mirror and then we're gonna get stuck in traffic and then Fally's gonna smoke this huge bag of pot and nearly suffocate me."

"Uh-huh. Sure thing Flipster." chuckled T.J.

Flippy looked in the rearview mirror and screamed when he saw his inner demon laugh while holding a knife. Before his friends noticed, Flippy snatched the rearview mirror off and stuffed it into his mouth, gulping so hard he coughed afterwards.

"That's just freaky dude." said Fally.

Just like Flippy predicted, T.J. screeched the van to a halt and he was caught up in the middle of a massive traffic jam taking place on the bridge.

"Damnit."

T.J honked the horn twice and shouted out, "MOVE YOUR ASS!!" to the driver in the blue sedan in front of him. The driver merely replied by holding up his middle finger. Flippy started hyperventilating.

"This isn't happening. This cannot be happening again."

Suddenly, Flippy heard violent coughing from behind and had to roll down the window to clear the air inside the van. Fally just lit a massive joint and started smoking pot while they were still in the van, much to Sherry and Flippy's dislike.

"Damnit Fally, put that out!" demanded Sherry.

"What for?"

"There's a fuckin' cop car right next to us!"

Flippy hacked loudly and threw himself out of the van, coughing and holding his head with worry. Everything in his dream was coming true with each minute that passed…which meant the bridge was going to collapse and kill everyone…including T.J. and Sherry. And if his dream was exactly correct, Flippy's demon would come out as well and gut Fally to death. The only logical solution he figured out right now was to get as many people off the bridge as possible.

"We have to get off this bridge."

"What?" asked T.J.

"This bridge is gonna collapse! We're all gonna die; it's just like the dream I told you guys about!"

"Goddamnit, not this again! I told you that it was just a dream Flipster!"

"Not it's—GAH!! I don't have time to explain it to you! Just get out the van and go tell everyone to get off the bridge!"

"But Flip—"

"NOW!!!"

Flippy's friends had no clue as to why their war veteran was acting so strangely, but from the way he sounded, he had to be a little bit truthful. Either that or he was crazy. Flippy himself ran over to Meth's car and knocked on the window in order to get their attention.

"Hey, what's up Flip—?"

"Get out of the car! You're gonna die!"

"Nothing's wrong with the car. I already had people inspect it and there aren't any bombs in the engine or underneath the seats."

"It's not the damn car, it's the bridge! You have to get off the bridge now before that support beam gets knocked loose and crushes you and your band!"

Meth glanced onto the hood of his car and noticed that a few particles of dust landed on the windshield. He looked up and noticed that the support beam was shaking and on the verge of snapping out of its socket. He yelped and jumped out the car, with his band members following and ran off the bridge. With the first victims now safe from Death's design, it was time for someone else to lend a hand.

"Lumpy!! I need you to get everyone to get off the bridge before we all die!"

Lumpy stared blankly at Flippy. "What?"

"Get out the damn truck and guide everyone off the bridge!!"

"Okay."

Lumpy got out of his truck and ran over to a tanker full of diesel fuel, emptying the contents by turning on the faucet in the back. Flippy sighed and shut his eyes.

"Lumpy…"

"Yep?"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Oh, I was just emptying this gas tank so the road would become slippery! That way, everyone can just glide down the bridge instead of walking."

"You fu—If there is so much as one spark that lands on the gas everything will be set of fire Lumpy!!"

Lumpy yelped and vigorously began to twist the knob counter-clockwise to cease the flow of the gas, but instead, he broke the knob off completely. Gas spewed everywhere by the gallons, dousing all the cars and pedestrians who got out of their cars to see what happened.

"Fuck this. I HAVE A BOMB BITCHES!!!" yelled Flippy, holding up two grenades.

Just the word "bomb" and the sight of a war veteran holding up two grenades was enough to make half the people on the bridge get out of their cars and run in the opposite direction, screaming hysterically and sliding on the fuel. Flippy on the other hand was calmly walking down the bridge with grenades in his hands. However, the support beam that was supposed to kill Meth and his band finally creaked loudly and collapsed onto his car, spraying glass and metal everywhere. Flippy screamed and sprinted his way off the bridge, joining all of the people who listened to his faux threat.

"Flippy, you need to calm down. Nothing's wrong with the bridge!"

"Why's no one listening to me?!!? I'm trying to tell you—"

Everyone gasped and shifted their heads towards the bridge when they saw something exploded and noticed the bridge was set ablaze due to the spilled gas, thanks to Lumpy. The people who had stayed on the bridge were screaming and trying to run off, only to be too little when the support beams and wires at the beginning of the bridge collapsed into a pile, creating a blockade for the remaining survivors. No one else would be able to get off alive…

"No…this can't be happening again…" moaned Flippy.

Flippy was panting and breathing so erratically that sweat was soaking his shirt and he was having trouble seeing. It was like he was convulsing while still standing.

"FUCK!!" shouted some young teenage deer.

"Oh my God." said his mother.

"Now watch—there's gonna be a train that slams into the bars and the bridge'll split in half!"

Everyone gazed at the bridge and, just as Flippy predicted, a train came out of the adjacent tunnel and derailed, toppling over and slamming into the metal bars holding the bridge up. But then, something that hadn't happened in Flippy's dream followed soon afterwards. A blue blur appeared several times throughout the train and everyone looked up to see something flying…

"Look up in the sky!! It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"…Is that a brain?"

Splendid grumbled loudly and landed next to the survivors, with a bundle of train passengers in his hands. Giggles and Nak were there. So were Flaky and her father, as well as K-Zar. Even Lifty, Shifty, and their cousin Robbo were in his clutches, completely unharmed. All the people that were supposed to have died on the train as well as the bridge were both safe and sound, untouched by Death. Unfortunately, he couldn't rescue all of the passengers and some of the animals were still left inside the burning train.

"Are you people fucking retarded? I'm a flying blue squirrel!! How the hell do you confuse a fuckin' squirrel with a brain?!" shouted an irritated Splendid.

"You looked like a brain to me." said Lumpy.

Flippy stopped hyperventilating the moment he saw Splendid carrying over 40 passengers in his hands, all of whom were unscathed. Thanks to Flippy and Splendid's efforts, hundreds of lives had been saved…but another 200 or so were perishing on the bridge. Flippy was even more relieved because the sky hadn't changed color, his demon wasn't out killing everybody, and there was no hole with teeth in the ground. Maybe it was all in his head…

But if that was true, how come he knew what his friends would do and how come he knew the bridge was going to collapse and the train would crash?

"There's still more people on that bridge!"

"Don't worry! Splendid is here to save—"

Before splendid could finish, the bridge exploded and one end of it began to collapse, plunging hundreds of civilians and vehicles into the ravine. Everyone could clearly hear their blood-curdling shrieks as their fiery bodies fell to their deaths. There was nothing else Splendid could do to save them.

"…Ahhh…" said Splendid meekly.

Splendid turned around and began to walk away, casually whistling with his hands behind his back.

"Wait a minute; you're not supposed to be here! You died in that truck explosion when you drank all the gasoline!"

"What truck? I don't see anything." said Splendid.

"But you were—I was…the world was supposed to end and…T.J.—"

Flippy kept sweating and rambling incoherent phrases, acting more crazy than usual. Sherry, fed up with Flippy's annoying crazy talk slapped him in the face so he'd come back to reality.

"Shut up Flippy! The world's not gonna end! We're all fine and nothing bad is going to happen to us! Have you lost your goddamn mind?!"

Suddenly, Flippy felt a cold breeze run by his scalp and a truck dangling off the bridge exploded, flinging the tires in all sorts of directions. Two of the survivors were crushed by the tires and another was burned by a flamed piece of metal. Splendid managed to blow his icy breath on the pedestrian, but in the process he wound up freezing the animal to death. Lastly, the hubcap of a car flew into the sky and vertically came flying down like a Frisbee. It was Sherry's sorry luck that she was standing right in front of the circular piece of metal, which impaled her in the back of the skull and threw her body face-down to the street. Blood splattered all over T.J., Lumpy, Fally and Flippy and they all screamed. Toothy, in particular, screamed like a five year old girl.

They were all supposed to die in that crash and the world was supposed to end right then and there, but Flippy and Splendid intervened and Death's plan was knocked out of socket. But Flippy knew in his heart that Death wasn't gonna give up so easily, which is why Death made the truck explode that killed Sherry.

This wasn't gonna end anytime soon…


	10. Beneath the Cloak

**Beneath the Cloak**

Handy was busy inserting a couple of quarters into a snack machine inside of a police station, waiting to get his hand of a bag of chips. The beaver slid the last silver coin into the slot and pressed **F5**.

"C'mon, Daddy needs a new pair of Cheetos." said Handy, hopping up and down joyously.

The metal wire began to uncoil and the bag of chips was about to fall down the machine so Handy would be able to retrieve them through the slot at the bottom. Unfortunately, instead of falling, the bag got stuck against the glass pane.

"Ooohhhh, NO!!" shouted Handy, kicking the machine.

"C'MON!!" he said again, kicking it one more time.

"Please work with me baby! I just survived a goddamn epidemic and all I want are some cheddar flavored puffs of corn."

Handy stuck his stubs inside the slot at the bottom of the machine and began to jiggle it around, mumbling and grunting to himself to see if the chips would fall. But then he remembered Nutty and his little incident about how he lost his hand, so he decided against it.

"Hmm…"

Handy bashed his head against the glass and shouted when he hurt himself and fell backwards onto the floor. Handy shook his head and looked back up at the machine, slowly getting more agitated because the bag hadn't even budged. Handy screamed and started bashing his head into the machine over and over again, jamming his stubs into the slot to see if the bag would magically fall down. With no other option, Handy started to violently kick the machine until he shouted out, "OWW!!" and began to hop on one foot.

"Hey Handy, you want any ice cream?" asked Lumpy, walking down the hall.

Handy sighed and stopped hopping on his foot.

"Sure, why not?"

"Here you go!" said Lumpy, handing Handy the ice cream.

When Handy saw the ice cream, he stared flatly at Lumpy and grumbled again.

"Lumpy,"

"Yes?"

"There's no cone under the ice cream."

Lumpy looked at both of his hands and noticed he was holding two scoops of melting ice cream which was dripping onto the floor.

"Oh. Well uh…"

Lumpy put the scoops into his mouth.

"Dude! Why did you put them in your mouth?!"

"So they wouldn't drip on the floor. I'll be back with the cones."

Lumpy ran away briefly and Handy was left waiting inside of the hall for his return. After leaning on the machine for a long time, Lumpy returned licking ice cream from his lips.

"Lumpy,"

"Yep?"

"WHERE ARE THE CONES?!!?"

"What cones?"

"For the ice cream you put in your mouth!"

Lumpy scratched his head. "I had ice cream in my mouth?"

"YES!!"

"OOOHHH! So that's why my mouth is cold!"

Handy sighed exasperatedly and shut his eyes to restrain his anger on the dim-witted moose.

"If I had hands, I'd kick the shit out of you."

"No you wouldn't!"

"How would you know that?"

"Easy. Watch!"

Lumpy punched Handy across the face and his body flew into the snack machine. Handy slowly slid down the glass pane and slipped into unconsciousness.

"OOH! Cheetos!"

Lumpy stuck his hand into the slot at the bottom of the machine and grabbed the bag of cheetos. When Handy was knocked into the vendor, the bag miraculously fell down. Lumpy opened up the bag and walked away, popping Cheetos into his mouth while Handy was left unconscious.

* * *

Elsewhere, a group of the survivors were in a large room inside of the police station talking about the incident with the officers in charge and taking statements and such. Just about all of the survivors on the bridge were there except for a few. In the middle of all this confusion, Flippy was busy checking all of the survivors to see who was who and if they were the people from his dream: Lumpy, Meth and his band, Flaky and her father, Handy. Hell, even his ex-girlfriend Omane was there, trying to flirt with one of the officers. If there was anything he hated about Omane, it was the fact she always sold her pussy to the first piece of life she saw. Flippy was slowly starting to wonder if she was a prostitute…and why he even bothered having a relationship with her.

Out of the group were pirates, and Cuddles, Rhyme, Mime, Nappy and Nutty, who was ravenously sucking on a lollipop.

"Wait a minute! You guys weren't on the bridge!" shouted Flippy.

Cuddles cocked an eyebrow. "What bridge?"

"You didn't hear about the bridge collapsing this afternoon?"

"No…we were too busy trying to find the cops." said Rhyme.

"Why?"

Russell groaned loudly and started muttering to himself.

"…stinkin' sacks of whale farts 'n' narwhal shit!!"

"What's your problem?" asked Flippy.

"A band o' slimy scum pirates hijacked me ship an' took it for a joy sail!"

"Yeah! Bunch a bloody pirates stole our captain's ship! When I find those fuckin' bubble blowers I swear I'm gonna—"

Flippy clamped Bladz's mouth shut with both of his hands and the alligator began to mutter several swear words under his breath, effortlessly trying to open his mouth.

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there, because if I smell your gator breath again, I will not hesitate to throw up in your face. Second of all, who would steal a pirate ship in the middle of the day?!"

"Obviously someone as stupid as Cuddles, since he thought we were going on a cruise today." said Nappy.

"How was I supposed to know the tickets I bought were bogus?!"

"It said in big ass bold letter that we were getting sent to a pirate ship dumbass!"

"Y'know, you guys should be happy! If we had gone on that ship, we'd all be dead right about now!"

"…What?"

"Apparently, some sea monster devoured the whole ship and killed everyone on board. Lucky us huh?"

"…That's why you're still here…" muttered Flippy.

"I HATE YOU! YOU PROMISED ME CANDY!!" whined Nutty, pointing his lollipop at the yellow bunny in frustration.

Nutty grunted and smacked Cuddles on the forehead with the lollipop, which stuck to his fur. After it got stuck, Nutty ripped it off of his head and a large patch of fur came right off, causing Cuddles to scream horribly…just like in Flippy's dream. Suddenly, one of the chief officers strolled into the room. He was wearing gray pants and the color of his fur was yellow, despite having a blue nose. He was a badger…and his name was Wyger.

"Well, it looks like you guys have been through hell today."

As Wyger finished, a bunch of HTF animals began to bicker and complain about what happened that day, which forced Wyger to yell at the top of his lungs to settle them down.

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTHS!!"

"I thought you wanted to take our statements?" asked Flippy.

"You're the first one I need to speak to."

"Mind telling us why you paraded the bridge with two grenades in your hands?" asked Wyger's partner, a yellow skunk.

"Cause he was trying to kill everybody. That's why Flippy had me empty all the gas from the tanker—"

"Lumpy shut up!" growled Flippy, elbowing the moose in the stomach.

"Uh, I mean…we have no idea…"

"Perhaps we should speak to the two of you in a more private area."

"Sure! It is getting a little crowded in here."

Wyger and his partner escorted Lumpy and Flippy into a small, dark room and shut the door, locking it while the others stayed outside and talked amongst themselves. Flippy and Lumpy sat in two chairs in front of a table, looking directly at the cops.

"Now you're gonna tell us everything we wanna know."

"YOU'RE GONNA TELL US EVERYTHING WE WANNA KNOW YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" shouted his partner, slamming his fist on the table.

Flippy sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. "Good cop, bad cop routine eh?"

"No, it's the bad cop, waterboarding cop. While my partner here will simply yell at you, I won't hesitate to dry drown your asses. So let's make this simple: You guys tell us why you tried to blow up the bridge and we'll let you go." proposed Wyger.

"What if I don't feel like talking?" said Flippy.

"I just told you I'm gonna waterboard your ass!"

"OOH, like a surfboard? I want one!" said Lumpy.

"Okay, you first."

Wyger's partner placed a bag over Lumpy's head and tipped his chair backwards on the floor, tying his legs and arms to the chair.

"Cool! You're gonna surprise me with the board right?"

"Look you guys don't need to waterboard—"

"Light him up Wyger." said his partner.

Wyger took out a very large water bottle and began to pour it over the bag, causing Lumpy to cough and gag repeatedly, jerking to get out of the chair restraints.

"Another ten seconds and he's gonna receive lung damage. Now what were you guys doing on that bridge?!" demanded Wyger.

"Okay, fine! I'll tell you everything, just let the moose back up!" said Flippy.

Wyger stopped squeezing the water bottle over the bag and let Lumpy back up, tilting up the chair so he was sitting back up on the table. The badger took off the bag and Lumpy started coughing again, looking around with shifty eyes.

"Did I just wet myself?" he asked.

Flippy calmed himself down before he spoke to the two officers.

"Have either of you guys had this…weird feeling or foreshadow of something in the future?"

"Is this gonna end with some crazy assed vision you thought you saw?" asked Wyger's partner.

"Just listen to me for once. Isn't that why you guys nearly ruptured Lumpy's lungs?"

Flippy sighed and began to talk to the cops. "I saw this happen. There was a dream I had a couple of days ago where all this stuff happened. The road, the bridge collapsing, the people that died—everything. I can't explain it."

"It just…happened out of nowhere?"

"Exactly."

"So what made you take some grenades and try to blow yourself up on the bridge when gasoline was everywhere?"

Flippy sighed. "That wasn't part of my plan and I didn't release the gas. Lumpy did."

"So we should be waterboarding the moose?"

"Don't blame him; he's retarded."

"HEY!!" shouted Lumpy.

"The only reason why I took out the grenades was to scare everyone off the bridge before it collapsed. If I hadn't done that, a lot more people would've died today."

"Or maybe you planned on setting off the grenades too late…"

"Oh my G—do I really have to spell this whole thing out for you?! I dreamt of a horrible premonition and it came true and the only way to prevent hundreds of deaths was to scare everyone off the bridge before it collapsed and because of me, a lot of people aren't dead!"

"That all may be true, but you made it seem like you were planning a terrorist attack via suicide bombing and when you realized that that wasn't going to work, you got yourself off the bridge and secretly destroyed the support beams with well placed bombs. And with all the gas on the road, all you needed was one spark before the whole thing went down."

Flippy grumbled to himself.

* * *

Back outside, a bunch of the animals were talking to each other about the virtual dream that Flippy had.

"Anyone else think this is a coincidence?" asked T.J.

"What is?" asked Toothy.

"Flippy has a dream that the world's gonna end two days ago which started out with a bridge collapsing. Suddenly, a bridge collapses in the same fashion as he predicted."

"Yeah, but in his dream, we all died and the world ended. Last time I checked, I'm still breathing."

"We're still alive because Flippy got us all off that bridge in time."

"What about me? Remember, I was the one who saved all your asses!" said Splendid.

"Does anyone else feel like we're going through a repeat here?" asked Spiky.

"What repeat?"

"Don't you guys remember of that person who had a vision that a theater would collapse and everyone inside would die?"

"Yes…"

"Well, he freaked out and got himself and a couple of his friends kicked out of the place. Immediately afterwards, the theater collapsed."

"Oh, that's very bad then." said Meth.

"Why?"

"Because after the theater collapsed, everyone who survived began to die in the most bizarre accidents you can think of."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Some dude got his head smashed in by falling blue ice."

Spiky and his friend K-Zar fell to the floor and began to hoot with laughter, pounding their fists on the floor and having trouble breathing and talking. Like always, whenever the two heard of anything toilet related, they couldn't help but snicker or laugh their asses off.

"What the fuck's so funny?" asked Toothy.

"Don't ye silly landlubbers know what blue ice be?!" asked Russell.

"No."

"Blue ice is the mixture of animal waste and liquid disinfectant found in aircrafts that freezes at high altitude." said Sniffles.

Toothy stared at Sniffles blankly. "What?"

Sniffles sighed and dumbed it down for the purple beaver.

"It's frozen shit."

As soon as the anteater mentioned the word "shit" a couple of the other animals chuckled and snickered under their breaths, amazed that it was possible to die at the hands of frozen defecation.

"Point being, Flippy had a premonition just like that guy in the theater did."

"How do we know this all ain't a mere coincidence?" asked a bystander.

"When you have a dream about a bridge collapsing two days in the future, and then two days in the future, it does collapse…that's Death. When you're on a train that crashes on the same bridge that was collapsing at the same time…that's Death. When you steal a pirate ship in hopes of going on a joy sail to go look for treasure in the sea and then the ship gets devoured by a sea monster…that's Death. When you are on a bridge that a homicidal bear with Shellshock said was going to collapse and when you get off the bridge, it does collapse…and then a hubcap appears out of nowhere and slams into the back of your skull and kills you…that's Death. That's fuckin' Death dude."

"Cuddles I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about my deceased girlfriend…" said Fally.

"Just sayin'…"

"Meth does this mean we're all gonna die in some haphazard and gruesome accidents?" asked Stinky.

The bear shrugged. "Weird stuff happens in this town; I wouldn't rule it out."

"Awesome. We're all gonna die because of some skeleton wearing a giant black cloak."

"Aw, c'mon! It won't be that bad!" said Salty.

"So you're fine if you get your skull crushed with a giant block of shit?" asked K-Zar.

As the survivors began to talk some more, Flippy and Lumpy were thrown out of Wyger's interrogation room shortly before the two officers walked outside themselves.

"You're all free to go…for now. But just remember to call us if you ever see anything suspicious." said Wyger.

"Does that include frozen shit?" asked Spiky.

"…Sir I don't know how to answer that…"

* * *

After the visit to the police station, some of the survivors went to a local club to cool off and take their minds off the situation. By take their minds of the situation, they started getting high. Toothy planted his face to the table in front of him and sniffed a line of white powder, tilting his head back up and shutting his eyes.

"…Toothy, that line was almost two feet long." said Flippy.

Toothy responded by coughing violently and sniffling repeatedly, jolting his head around.

"What is the point in doing cocaine again?"

"It's not cocaine—not cocaine! See—look at it, look at it. Look at the powder—it's meth-meth, not crack!"

Toothy was talking rapidly and hopping up and down in his seat, unable to control himself.

"You gotta pace yourself Toothy or you're gonna blow out your skull from the inside."

"This coming from a bunny with five needles in his arm." Flippy pointed out.

Cuddles looked at his arms and noticed five long needles were sticking out of his arm.

"Oh shit…" he mumbled, passing out from the drug and falling on the floor.

"See this is why I stopped doing meth." said Rhyme.

"Your cousin didn't."

Rhyme looked to his left and saw his cousin inaudibly sniffing the table.

"Oh, he's just miming it."

"Then why is his nose white?"

Rhyme cocked and eyebrow and lifted his cousin's head to see that his nose was white and had a bunch of "powder" on it.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Mime nervously looked left and right before he slowly began to duck under the table like he was walking down a set of stairs. When Rhyme looked under the table, Mime was nowhere to be seen.

"How does he do that?" asked Meth.

"I don't know."

"Fally you've smoked about 12 joints now and you're still not high. What's up with you?" asked Flippy.

Fally coughed and two giant puffs of smoke came out of his mouth before he sniffled loudly.

"I always got high with Sherry. Now that she's dead…I can't really do that anymore…"

"Spiky, why are you here? Don't you have a daughter at home?" asked Flippy.

"Flaky's 18, she can take care of herself. Plus, you gotta remember you're talking to a porcupine who still plays the 'Pull-My-Finger' joke and shoots arrows at people for no reason on Saturdays."

"And you…I don't even know you but your sittin' there with your feet on the table."

A large, red reptilian creature wearing blue shorts with a smirk on his face had his feet resting on the table, wiggling his toes like it was nothing. He went by the name of Rexar, and he was what people would call an anthrorex, or a walking T-Rex creature.

"What? Don't tell me you guys got a problem with a dinosaur's feet on the table?"

Rexar laughed to himself and slowly shoved his left foot in Flippy's face.

"Wanna sniff 'em?"

Flippy, as well as some of the other people sitting around the table were plugging their noses and gagging, unable to endure the stinky cheesy odor of his orange soles.

"Can I sniff 'em? I wanna see if my feet smell just as bad as yours." said Spiky.

Rexar laughed evilly and said, "Sure, why not?"

Spiky leaned over and deeply inhaled Rexar's smelly feet, retching loudly and veering his head back afterwards.

"Jesus Christ, did you step in melted Swiss cheese this morning?!"

"Yes."

"Okay, this is too disgusting. I'm going to bed."

"Alright, see you tomorrow Flipster!"

* * *

Later that night, Flippy had a peculiar dream. It started out with a large, blank white screen, but then Flippy appeared out of nowhere and began to jump around slowly while stuffing the white compound into his nose. He was naked and running around with white fur on his shoulders, happy as ever as the song Moving in Stereo played in his ears. He dunked his head in the background and took a giant whiff before lifting his head back up and laughing wildly.

"OH SHIT!!" shouted Flippy, waking up in the middle of the night.

The white powder, the rock music in the background, it all began to make sense now:

Meth was next on Death's list.


	11. Strummin' Above the Chin

**Strummin' Above the Chin**

"OW! Son of a bitch!" shouted Meth.

It was late in the morning and Meth was standing outside of his friend's house hammering a new mailbox to the ground. The mailbox was painted so it had dark red and orange flames on the front of it and was painted black in the back. But what made the mailbox really special were the tiny, but sharp spikes on the edges of the latching door.

"Hey Meth, you get that mailbox finished yet?"

"NO! If you assholes would help me instead of staying inside and drinking lemonade while I roast my furry ass in the sun, they maybe I would be done!"

Meth's friend laughed. "What's your problem?"

"These spikes—they keep cutting my arm and I keep getting splinters in my fingers! Why'd you even make a mailbox with spikes on it?"

"Because when you open it, the spikes make it look like teeth and it's like a monster is waiting to eat the mail, and then swallows it when it closes shut."

Meth's friend guffawed and started to open and close the mailbox repeatedly.

"Isn't that badass?!"

"…Yeah, it does look pretty radical." laughed Meth.

"So you're saying you'll finish the mailbox? Thanks Meth!"

"No, wait—!"

But Meth's friend was already rushing inside his garage where he continued to sip on his lemonade.

"Goddamnit Creolz…" sighed Meth.

Meth continued to hammer away on the mailbox post until he hit his thumb with the hammer on accident.

"OW! SON OF A BITCH!!!"

* * *

Inside of the garage, a bear and two beavers were resting inside sipping lemonade with the door closed while Meth was outside still working. The bear's name was Creolz, who had blue fur and was wearing a black T-shirt. One of the beavers inside was named Eddie and he had green fur and was wearing a black T-shirt as well. Lastly, the other beaver had grey fur and, of course, a black T-shirt. His name was Kalvinz.

"Man I wanna get back on the bridge while it's collapsing again!" said Eddie.

"Why?" asked Kalvinz.

"Cause it was so extreme man! It's like surfin' through this gnarly wave in the middle of a hurricane!"

"So you don't care that you almost died out there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do care. But if I did die, it would've been so extreme man! How many people do you know of who get crushed by a fat support beam on a bridge?"

Kalvinz and Creolz pondered for a moment before answering.

"Ya got me." said Creolz.

"Ditto."

Eddie laughed. "Exactly! None of you know anybody who died getting crushed to death by a big ass wire!"

Everyone took a giant gulp of their lemonade and sighed as the yellow beverage cooled them off.

"Damn, Meth sure knows how to make a good batch of lemonade!" said Creolz.

"Are you serious? You know how bitter mine tastes?!" said Kalvinz.

"That's cause we peed in it when you went to go get your guitar."

Kalvinz immediately spat out his lemonade and groaned while Eddie and Creolz laughed heartily. Kalvinz threw the glass to the floor and watched as it shattered into several pieces, spilling yellow fluids all over the floor.

"You guys are asses!"

"No, if we were asses then we would've taken a shit in your lemonade. I thought about doing that, but somehow, I had a feeling brown didn't mix with yellow very much." said Creolz.

"Right…well pissy lemonade aside, any of you guys think it's weird what happened to us?" asked Kalvinz.

"How so?"

"Flippy has a dream about a bridge collapsing, and then a bridge collapses just like he predicted. Isn't that a strange coincidence?"

"Not really."

"What about the two guys working security, Ryley and Moss? Ryley nearly drowned inside of a bathroom because he got his hand stuck in the toilet and when he finally gets free, he gets impaled in the eye with a pole. And then Moss…I don't even want to get started with him."

"Maybe a wild bear got loose in the ceiling—"

"Eddie, no type of animal of this world could ravage a body like that without anyone hearing or seeing anything."

"Well, I did find an eyeball…" said Creolz.

"Regardless, a wild bear can't do all that without someone noticing."

* * *

Back outside, Meth had finally finished building the mailbox and was busy trying to remove the splinters from his hands.

"That's the last time I make a mailbox…" vowed the bear.

Suddenly, Flippy appeared running down the sidewalk panting heavily and perspiring, out of breath.

"Hey Flippy, how's it going?"

"You're going…to die!!!" he shouted.

"…I love you too."

"Damnit Meth, I'm serious! I had another dream again like the bridge!"

"Are we still on that? You saved me and my band from the accident and I'm thankful for that, but you need to stop obsessing over that! You're alive and so are a bunch of other people and if it hadn't been for you—"

"It wasn't about the bridge Meth! It was about you and how you die!!"

Meth's eyes grew wide and he dropped the hammer on his foot.

"OW!! GODDAMNIT IT!!" he shouted, hopping up and down on one foot.

"What's your problem?"

"I HATE HAMMERS!!"

* * *

Flippy entered the garage and began to examine his surroundings. He checked the gas line to make sure there were no leaks and then examined the circuit breaker to make sure nothing was ruptured and no sparks were flying.

"Hey Flipster! What's up?" asked Eddie.

"Now's not the time Ed. I gotta-I gotta check stuff."

Flippy walked over to the closet and slowly opened it, waiting for all the clutter inside of it to fall down with a loud crash, spreading dust everywhere and making the band cough loudly. Flippy kneeled over and examined all the sharp, hazardous objects and began to chuck them aside. He broke the chainsaw and threw the remains into the trash before kicking a box of nails into Creolz's house. Then he looked at the lighter fluid and carefully placed it on the top of a sturdy shelf away from everything else, it case a gust of wind came by and knocked it over.

"Flippy what the hell are you doing?! Why you breakin' all my stuff?!" asked Creolz.

"Just trust me on this!"

Flippy got a rake and snapped it in two, only to scream when he realized he just made two weapons instead of one. With no other option, Flippy chucked the broken wood into the air and watched as it stuck into the ceiling.

"Okay…the garage is safe proof." muttered Flippy.

"Why does it need to be—?"

"Meth is going to die…very soon."

Flippy yelped loudly when Eddie stabbed him in the back with a giant rusty nail.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!!?"

"You just said you were going to kill our band leader!"

"I said he was going to die jackass!"

Flippy grunted twice and winced with pain when he yanked the long, rotting nail out of his flesh and threw it inside of a trash bin.

"I had a dream last night—"

Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes, not wanting to enter another one of his episodes.

"Are we still on this?!" asked Kalvinz.

"Listen…to me: Last night I dreamt of a large white background that was barren and then, out of nowhere, I showed up running through the field laughing wildly and jumping everywhere."

"Looks like Flipster had a Gay Dream."

"Shut the fuck up Eddie! At least I still don't poop in the bed!"

Meth and the other band members began to laugh and snicker loudly.

"You said you wouldn't tell anyone!!!" whined Eddie.

"And it wasn't a Gay Dream! I wasn't banging any dude as far as I could tell. Anyway, at the end of the dream, I grabbed a huge pile of the powder and began to sniff it until I started laughing again. In other words, I got high on meth."

"So?"

"Don't you get it? It's a sign! I've never had a dream about getting high on meth before so why do I suddenly have one immediately after the accident?"

"Chill Flippy. Even if your dream was a sign, what makes you think I'm going to die because of it?"

"Remember the theater and that guy who saw the thing collapse? He had visions too about the people who were going to die and it makes sense because you and your band were the first ones who died in my dream!"

"Wait a minute; you only had a dream about meth though." Kalvinz pointed out.

"That doesn't matter; whether or not the dream was strictly meant for him, you guys all would've died at the same time if I hadn't warned you! My dream just means Meth is going to die first!"

"Aw that's rank man! We're all gonna die?!" asked Eddie.

"Probably! You all died at the same time in my dream!"

"So uh…when am I gonna die bro?" asked Kalvinz.

"Everyone except for Meth needs to calm down because you're all safe until something happens to Meth. After Meth dies—"

"_IF I DIE!!_" Meth pointed out.

"Right. If you die, then you guys have to worry." Flippy restated.

"Are there any other clues in your dream you remember Flipster? An unwanted gnat or some weird faze in front of your face?"

"There was some 70s song playing in the background but I can't remember the name of it. Something to do with a speaker…"

"But there aren't any clues about my death?"

"No…just a song and methamphetamine."

"What about us? Is there a clue to our deaths?" asked Kalvinz.

"Nope." said Flippy.

"…It's nothing embarrassing is it?"

"I don't know."

"…I mean nothing got shoved up my ass, right?"

"I don't know!"

"…Do I get cock vored?"

Flippy and all of the band members stared at Kalvinz for a solid two minutes before Flippy sighed and shut his eyes, rubbing his scalp after taking off his beret.

"Okay…so what you just asked…"

Flippy had to stop himself again.

"…Did you just ask me if a cock swallows you?"

"Yes."

"…And why would you ask that?"

"Hey, weird shit happens in this city!"

"So you just randomly think a penis is going to swallow you?"

"It could happen!!"

"How would the cock even get a hold of you?"

"Well—"

"STOP IT!!!" squealed Meth.

"Hey I'm just pointing out some of the possibilities Meth."

"I don't give a shit Kalvinz! Stop talking about vore and cocks! I do not want to hear about vore cocking and cock vore or any form of getting swallowed by someone's dick!! God!!"

Meth sighed exasperatedly and turned back over to Flippy.

"What am I supposed to do Flipster? I could die at any moment."

Flippy sighed and looked around the garage, confident that it was 100% safe now.

"I'll watch over you guys for now until something happens but as far as I'm concerned, this garage is death proof."

"Gotcha."

"We can play our guitars now, right?" asked Eddie.

"Yeah, yeah, you're fine." said Flippy, sitting down on the steps of the garage.

"And a one, and a two, and a—" started Eddie.

Meth and his band began to play the beginning notes of the song Moving in Stereo and Flippy began to ponder about his dream some more while they played more notes and Creolz started to drum his drums. Then Meth began to recite the beginning lines:

"_Life's the same, I'm moving in stereo,_

_Life's the same, except for my shoes,_

_Life's the same, you're shakin' like tremolo,_

_Life's the same, it's all inside you."_

"Damnit, what does this all mean? Getting high on meth, the stupid 70s song—"

Flippy gasped when he realized that the song Meth and his band were playing was the one in his dream. Eddie began to sing the next phrase in the song:

"_It's so easy, to blow up your problems,_

_It's so easy, to play up your breakdown,_

_It's so easy, to fly through a window,_

_It's so easy, to fool with the sound."_

"High on meth, Moving in Stereo. High on meth, Moving in Stereo. High on meth, Moving in Stereo. High on meth, Moving in Stereo,"

Flippy kept uttering the phrase to himself to try and understand the hint he was given…it was right there on the tip of his tongue.

"High…on meth. Wait a second, high…on _Meth_."

Flippy looked above Meth and saw a shelf that was shaking due to the bass of the speakers. On the top of the shelf was a glass of lemonade that was slowly hopping up and down due to the noise and was headed right for the edge…and underneath it was the amp connecting to Meth's guitar. Flippy sprang into action and gunned for Meth as the glass got to the tip of the edge and fell down to the amp. In a dramatic move, Flippy performed a Matrix style dive and shoved Meth out of the way, tackling him like a ram. Meth let go of his guitar immediately before the yellow liquid landed on the amp. The amp began to emit sparks of electricity and an eerie whine just before the amp caught on fire and delivered a giant charge of electricity to everything connected to it, including Meth's guitar. Had Meth still been holding the guitar, he would've been electrocuted and fried. Meth and Flippy were panting as they looked at the burning amp.

"Holy shit Meth! You all right?" asked Kalvinz.

"I am now, thanks to Flippy."

"Hey uh…if you just avoided death…then that means…"

The rest of the band members gasped and their eyes grew wide.

"OH SHIT! WE'RE NEXT DUDE!!" shouted Eddie.

A couple of sparks flew off the amp and fell inside the large speaker resting next to Eddie. The speaker blasted a giant bass tone in Eddie's ears and paralyzed him, forcing him to cover his ears and grit his teeth. In fact, everyone inside the garage was paralyzed and holding their ears while the speaker grew louder and louder each and every second until Flippy saw a small flame emitting from the inside. Flippy used all of his strength to get back up and slowly walked over to Eddie, grabbing his arm and dragging him in his direction, pulling him away from the speaker. Three seconds later, it exploded, sending shards of debris everywhere. Everyone got back off the floor and looked at the wreckage, examining the burning amps and speakers.

"WHOOOOO!!! EXTREEEEEEMMMMEEE!!!" shouted Eddie.

"You almost died jackass!" shouted Flippy.

"Yeah but it was so awesome man! I almost got fried by a speaker!"

"It's so easy to blow up your problem, it's so easy to play up your breakdown…Meth what was the next line in the song?"

"It's so easy to fly through a window?"

After saying that, Kalvinz yelped and fell over when he slipped on the lemonade he slammed on the ground Creolz and Eddie peed in. When he slipped, he fell head first towards the garage and his head burst through the window, shattering it and dousing the ground and his face with glass.

"Ow…" moaned Kalvinz.

"Good. The glass didn't kill him." said Flippy with relief.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the way he was supposed to die. After he got his head stuck in the broken window, another zap was heard and the door began to open, taking Kalvinz with it. Kalvinz began to shake his legs with desperation and scratched away at the door, trying to get free.

"Guys? GUYS!! SHUT OFF THE DOOR!!"

Meth ran over to the switch that controlled the door and yelped when it shocked him after he touched it. Meth looked more closely at the switch and noticed a large piece of shrapnel was stuck inside. When the speaker exploded, one of the shards landed on the switch and screwed up the controls, which would explain why the door began to rise. Kalvinz began to protests and thrash his legs and arms around to get free from the garage door, but nothing seemed to work.

"Creolz where's your remote for the door?!" asked Meth.

"There isn't one!"

"So how do you shut it off manually?! There's gotta be a failsafe!"

"Uh, uh…the circuit breaker!!"

Meth rushed to the circuit breaker and squealed when a spark flew from it and shocked him.

"I can't touch it without killin' myself!"

Kalvinz screamed loudly when the garage door got closer and closer to the roof. Any further and his head would get crushed in-between the roof and the garage door. He might even get decapitated. Flippy jumped into the air and grabbed one of the broken sticks that came from the rake, jabbing the main control system for the whole electric system throughout the house. Everything instantly shut off including the garage door, just when Kalvinz's head was about to get crushed. Kalvinz began to pant and sweat heavily while everyone else sighed and walked out of the garage.

"Okay…now that was a close one." said Meth.

Everyone turned around when they heard loud trickling and observed Kalvinz urinating all over the ground behind him, whimpering.

"Heh heh…you peed yourself."

"Shut up Eddie and call the hospital." said Kalvinz, coughing up some glass and blood.

Meth took out his cellphone and dialed 911 while everyone else caught their breath and began to reminisce on what just happened until Creolz forgot something about himself.

"Flippy!! What about my death?!"

"Don't worry about it, you're all fine. You were really close to that speaker when it exploded so I'm guessing you were supposed to die along with Eddie or when those shards flew everywhere."

"So I'm fine then?"

"Yes! Let's just wait here outside until the ambulance shows up."

Creolz sighed with relief when the gang saw a white van speeding down the road.

"Damn, that was fast." said Meth.

Unfortunately, the van wasn't an ambulance and was just a normal van speeding down the road. While driving, the van hit the curb and popped a tire, screeching out of control. The gang quickly backed up to avoid getting caught up in the accident, but it wasn't the van they had to be worried about. When the van passed Creolz's driveway, it hit the still open mailbox and tore the whole thing off, sending it hurling into the air. …It was Creolz's sorry luck that the top half of his head was in the way. The gang heard a loud squish and shouted out loud when blood sprayed all against their bodies.

"Hey guys…what just happened?" asked Kalvinz.

Meth and Flippy warily walked over to Creolz and groaned when they saw his body. The mailbox that Meth just made with the spikes on it just severed Creolz from the mouth up, leaving only the lower half of his head and jaw. His body was pinned to the wall of the house, still held up by the spiked mailbox.

"Shit…"

"Maybe-maybe he's still alive. If we could—"

Meth grabbed Creolz's legs and pulled his body towards himself, covering his mouth with his arm when his body came apart minus the top of his head. Eddie walked over to the mailbox and pulled it from the wall, looking inside and hooting loudly.

"How cool is that?! Creolz has half a fake head in his mailbox!"

As Eddie was guffawing, he looked down at the rest of Creolz and looked back into the mailbox, suddenly realizing what happened.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHH…that's…that's not a fake half head, is it?"

"No." said Meth.

"…Can I still play with it?"


	12. Loyal

**Loyal**

Flippy, Meth and his band were outside of Creolz's house taking a statement from Wyger and his partner.

"So you were practicing for your upcoming performance when a glass of lemonade just fell on your amp and…" started Wyger's partner, Jax.

"The amp was electrified and I was almost electrocuted until Flippy saved me. Then the amp exploded and Flippy saved Eddie and Kalvinz was thrown into the garage door and it began to rise into the air and if it hadn't been for Flippy…"

"Then what?"

"You remember that scene from Scream where that chick got her head crushed when she tried to escape out the garage door?"

"Yeah."

"That basically would've been Kalvinz."

"And that's when the van appeared out of nowhere and hit your mailbox and decapitated Creolz?" asked Wyger.

"In a nutshell." Flippy confirmed.

"Sounds like a freak accident to me Wyger." said Jax.

"Lucky for you, I can't find any evidence suggesting you decapitated Creolz so we'll just have to rule this as an accident for now. No one needs any health or assistance do they?"

"I'M STILL STUCK HERE!!!" shouted Kalvinz, who was still shaking as he was stuck inside the garage door.

"Yeah, you guys should get Kalvinz out there. We'll be fine." said Meth.

Wyger and Jax walked away from Meth and Flippy and tended over to the Kalvinz, who was still desperately trying to escape from the garage door.

"…Will we?"

Flippy shook his head. "I don't know."

"I mean, if we're really going through this whole cheating Death bullshit again, then my band and I are safe until all the other survivors die right?"

"How the hell should I know? I didn't even know you were in danger until I had that dream."

"You don't need to have a dream just to figure out who's next. Try and remember who the next person to die was."

"That's not the point; Death is working out of order Meth! In my dream, you and your band died first."

"Exactly! And you just saved my band and I…excluding Creolz."

"But Sherry died first. Remember Fally's girlfriend? The one who got impaled in the back of the head with a hubcap?"

"If she died first, then that means—"

"Death is going in a random order and for all I know, I could be next. Besides, there were well over 40 people who survived that accident because of me and Splendid and Lumpy. You really think I can track them all down before they die?"

"Maybe-maybe we can find someone who worked on the bridge and if he or she will let us examine the cameras then at least we'll know who was on the bridge."

"I guess that'll work. But even if we know all of the people on the bridge, how are we—"

"We'll cross that line when we come to it. Right now, we just need to find all the survivors."

"Hey you guys think they'll let me eat fruit salad out of Creolz's head?"

Eddie walked up to Flippy and Meth carrying Creolz's severed head upside-down like it was a bowl.

"…Dude are you a cannibal?" asked Meth.

"No, but this looks so badass! I just wanna hang it on my fence so everytime people walk by they see a real live decapitated head!! You know how extreme that'll be?!"

"Put the fuckin' head down."

"Okay." whined Eddie.

Eddie looked into the remains of Creolz's severed head and slowly began to reach inside for the organs and blood.

"DO NOT TAKE OUT THE BRAINS!!!"

"Right."

* * *

Several hours later, on the other side of town, were a deer couple currently residing inside a house not far from the Burger Joint that was destroyed by Flippy long ago. One of the deer was named Eiden and his wife's name was Marilyn. Eiden was a brown deer with yellow antlers and his wife was a blue deer who also had yellow antlers. Marilyn's son, Bucky, had black fur and yellow antlers as well. Ever since Marilyn got divorced from his previous father, Bucky had a major mood change. He wasn't very happy anymore and turned emo and sadistic, spending more time burning things and breaking stuff as opposed to paying attention in school and listening to his parents. Right now, Bucky was out of the house and Marilyn and Eiden were watching the news story about the bizarre death of Creolz.

"Oh wow. Now that's pretty…that's really weird ain't it honey?" said Eiden.

"It's not everyday where you find some bear who gets decapitated by a flailing mailbox."

"I know, but don't you think it's weird how the mailbox severs his head clean off like that? Besides who's stupid enough to post a mailbox with spikes on the edge of it?!"

"A rock band."

Eiden shrugged. "True."

During the news story, Bucky made his entrance to his house covered in filth and messing up the carpet with each step he took. Whatever he was doing, it was very muddy and soiled his feet.

"Hi Mom, hi Eid."

"Son you already know my name's Eiden and why were you out so late anyway?"

"I was busy drowning ants in motor oil and setting them on fire…and I'm not your son _Eid._"

"Bucky don't start—"

"Hey I'm just saying I'm not biologically Eid's son and it wasn't his sperm that brought me to life after he fucked you for the last two years."

"Bucky I know you're just saying all of this because of the incident that occurred a few days ago and you're upset."

"I'm not upset about what happened on the bridge; if it hadn't been for that guy in the beret, I'd be dead along with my mom. I'm upset because my so-called 'Dad' didn't die on the bridge and ran off it like a pussy when he was supposed to be inspecting the structure with his co-workers so it wouldn't collapse."

Eiden growled at Bucky at rose off the couch, approaching his step-son.

"And this would be the part where you get all pissy and start yelling at me like my real father would where you'll strike me and get arrested for child abuse…or molestation if I really wanna go that far."

"BUCKY!!" shouted Marilyn, outraged by her son's behavior.

"I know, I know, I'm grounded. I've been grounded for four months now and you guys already know I'll find a way to sneak out again." said Bucky, retreating to his room and locking the door.

"…Your son is starting to aggravate me Marilyn."

"It's not like you're really giving him a chance."

"I've been bonding with him, I've been talking with him, I've taken him to games, to movies, to arcades and amusement parks. I give him just about anything he wants! What else am I supposed to give him!?"

"His father back."

"That's not gonna happen. It's not my fault you fell in love with me and it's not my fault you divorced your previous husband."

"Well he obviously thinks it is."

"It's not even the fact that he acts like an asshole to me; I just hate how he calls me Eid all the time!"

"…Let me get this straight: You can't tolerate my son because he gave you a crappy nickname?"

"YES!!!"

Marilyn raised an eyebrow. "Why did I marry you again?"

* * *

The next day, Eiden was outside, working in the middle of the street alongside his handyman, Handy. After the destruction of Handy's tow truck, Eiden was forced to go to work earlier than expected so he could fix it for him. Eiden was currently underneath the truck fixing the oil line while Handy was busy flirting with his girlfriend Eloise, who stayed over at his house the previous night.

"Hey Handy, could you hand me the hammer?" asked Eiden.

Handy looked down at the toolbox before looking at his stubs and grumbling at Eiden with an irritated glare on his face.

"What? asked Eiden, emerging from underneath the truck.

"I'M MISSING SOMETHING HERE!!!"

"You got teeth, just bend over and toss the hammer at me."

"Eid I don't even see why I'm your handyman. You don't ever let me do anything!"

"And look at why I don't! You finally start to get the hang of this repair business and you crash and wreck the tow truck!"

"That isn't fair! A mischievous flatulent porcupine shot an arrow at my tire!"

"…Who fires arrows anymore?"

"Apparently Spiky, Eid." said Eloise.

"Why are you calling me that now?!"

"It's your nickname Eid. We all got one. Everyone calls my brother Flipster, Tyler's nickname is T.J., hell even I got one."

"Yeah, you always love getting called Cum-Sucker." chuckled Handy.

Eloise punched Handy in the face and he instantly fell backwards and landed on the ground with a huge bruise on his face. The orange beaver groggily stood up and shook his head, getting all of the dust from his hard hat.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"I told you to stop calling me that in public! I'm the sister of a war veteran…not a whore."

"But you are a Cum-Sucker!! You give me blowjobs—"

Eloise uppercutted Handy and his body flew high into the air. Eiden and Eloise looked into the air expecting Handy to fall back down to the ground, but for some reason, he just stayed in the air, lost in the clouds.

"Why are you guys dating again?"

"Have you ever looked at his ass when it's sunny out and he just got out the pool?"

"…No…I'm not gay Eli."

Eloise sighed exasperatedly. "Don't call me that!!"

"Why not? You said everyone has a nickname and Eli suits you just fine."

"Yeah but it sounds like a guy's name! How many Eli's do you know of who are feminine?"

"23."

"…Okay, but how many Eli's do you know of who are masculine?"

"Zero. I've yet to meet anyone named Eli who was a guy."

"Seriously?"

"Well one of 'em might've been a tranny, but technically that doesn't count since he was considered a she. Besides, let's get back to my nickname!"

"So your step-son gave you a stupid nickname. Why do you hate it so much?"

"Because he gave it to me specifically for being his mother's husband!"

"Shouldn't you be trying to help your step-son live a better life so he doesn't end up like my brother?"

"Your brother's not so bad."

"Fire a gunshot next to his ear and watch what happens."

"Eli you still go on gruesome rampages like Flippy does. The only difference is that you only go Rambo when someone talks shit about your parents or calls you a Cum-Sucker."

"Like I said, shouldn't you worry about something else besides your step-son's nickname? Like why he spends his time burning ants and smashing frogs with hammers and throwing stones at birds?"

"The boy has issues. Honestly, I think it's because of this incident with his parents getting divorced and all that junk that happened at the bridge."

"So have you actually bothered sitting down and talking to your step-son like mature adults?"

"Yes, but you know that expression: In one ear, out the other."

"That's why the word 'therapy' was invented."

Eiden chuckled. "Like I'd be caught dead within a shrink's office, sitting on that big chair pouring my heart out to some pompous asshole who only tells me what I want to hear just to get a fat paycheck."

"Are you even trying to take my advice into consideration?"

"Nope."

In the midst of the conversation, Handy fell back down from the sky screaming bloody murder until he hit the ground with full force, making a crater the size of his body in the pavement.

"…Ow…" whined Handy.

Eloise walked over to Handy and pulled him out of the ground, brushing the dirt and gravel off his shoulders and hard hat.

"So I…take it you don't want me to call you a Cum-Sucker?"

"Please don't." said Eloise, smiling.

Eiden sifted through his toolbox yet again and found a large screwdriver he needed to screw the bolts back into place of the door. Just as the repairman was going to put the finishing touches into the door, he tossed the screwdriver to Handy, who somehow caught the tool in his mouth.

"I'm gonna head to the convenience store down the street. You guys want anything?" asked Eiden.

"I'm good."

"MMPH MPH MMPHH!!" shouted Handy.

"You sure you don't want a Pepsi?"

"MMPHPHH!!!!"

"Okay, more for me." said Eiden, smiling.

Handy continued to protest in a muffled voice as Eiden walked down the street to buy himself a drink. The handless beaver grumbled loudly and spat out the screwdriver, sighing as he looked at the wrecked truck.

"Handy how are you gonna fix that by yourself without any set of hands?"

"Easy! Watch."

Handy leaned over to the truck to go inside, but first he had to deal with opening the door. He stretched his stubs long and far to reach for the handle, but his stubs weren't long enough to get to them. Handy grumbled again and banged his head against the window, frustrated with himself. Handy got on his back and lifted his legs, trying to open the door with his feet. Unfortunately, his feet weren't strong enough to twist the handle sideways.

"Fuck it."

Handy got on his knees and turned his head sideways, opening his maw and clamping his mouth shut onto the handle. Handy muttered an incoherent phrase once again and started grunting with each jerk he made. First his went left, but the handle didn't move and he bit his tongue in the process. The second time, Handy moved his head up…where he shouted out loud in pain and was shocked when he spat something white and pointy out of his mouth.

"AW, SHIT!! I just chipped my tooth!"

"Why don't you just let me do it?" offered Eloise.

"Sooner or later Cum—Eloise, I'm gonna have to learn how to get inside a vehicle without bursting through the window and getting glass in my eyes. I might as well learn now."

Handy exhaled twice and bit down on the handle again, grunting very hard and turning his head sideways, tearing the door handle off in the process. However, his mouth was able to realign the tumblers and the door slowly swung open.

"YES!! I can finally open a car door!!"

"Now if you could just do that with regular doors, we'll be in business."

Handy cocked an eyebrow and examined the tow truck's tires, which were slowly spinning down the street. The beaver looked inside the automobile and noticed the hand brake was left down and the truck was in motion. Someone (or something) left the hand brake down…ironically when the truck was on a hill.

"Uh-oh, that's not good."

Handy got up and ran after the tow truck with Eloise and tried to hop onto it, but it resumed its acceleration and was getting faster and faster.

"ELI!! GRAB THE CHAIN!!"

Eloise tried to grab the chain hanging off the back of the truck, but as soon as she bent down, something cold brushed against her hand and a dark shadow was cast behind her. Whatever it was, it prevented her from grabbing the chain. Eloise turned around, thinking someone was behind her, but the street was barren and unpopulated. Meanwhile, Handy was sprinting down the street almost tripping over his own two feet trying to catch the truck. The tires were spinning very quickly now and the speed was up to 40 miles per hour, if not more.

SOMEBODY STOP THAT TRUCK!!!" screamed Handy, tripping and skinning his elbow.

A car driving at the intersection down the road screeched to a halt and another one was hit by the truck. Immediately before the truck was going to plow into the store in front of it, Eiden came out of the shop chugging a can of Pepsi.

"LOOK OUT!!!" shouted Eloise.

Eiden's eyes grew wide as the truck was about to run him over. He braced for impact…and was stunned when he felt an excessive amount of water fall over his head. Eiden slowly opened his left eye and noticed the truck just slammed head on into a fire hydrant, narrowly missing his body. The impact bent the fire hydrant and broke the water system inside, shooting water all over the sidewalk and into the air. Eli and Handy made it down the road just in time to check up on the brown cervine.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, I'm gone for five minutes and you already wrecked the tow truck again?!"

"I'm sorry! Someone left the hand brake down and I couldn't stop the truck."

Eiden opened his mouth to chastise Handy yet again, but blood and bones began to spray the wall and tow truck and the street, making a huge mess. No one even knew what happened before it even happened. A small twinkle emerged in Eloise's eye and before she could say anything, it was too late. In the upper compartment of the convenience store was a humid, steamy room with no air conditioning and bad repairs. One of the workers placed an air conditioning unit right in the center of a closed window and turned the unit on high, standing in front of it to cool himself down. Around this time, the tow truck plowed into the hydrant, spraying water into the air. The water knocked the air conditioning unit out of socket and it began to fall…right on Eiden's head. It didn't stop there either; once Eiden died, the grate inside the unit broke and the fan (which was still spinning madly) began to slice Eiden's head like pieces of deli meat. It wasn't until the fan reached Eiden's thighs that it stopped spinning. Eiden's body fell backwards and the unit crashed to the ground, revealing the maimed fan drenched in blood.

On the outside world, blood was all over Eli and Handy. A shredded heart was here, brain fragments were there and a kidney was hanging off a telephone pole. All in all, the scene was not pretty. Eli and Handy could do nothing but stare at Eiden's lifeless body with their pupils dilated and their mouths hanging open, drowning out the hysterical screams and chatter around them. Eli moved her eyes down and noticed a huge yellow antler sticking out of Handy's mouth. Handy also noticed it too, and opened his mouth wider, letting it clatter to the ground. Handy's face turned green and he started retching loudly until he wound up vomiting profusely all over the sidewalk.


	13. U Haul in My Ass

**U-Haul in My Ass**

Flippy was walking down a lonely road shadowed by several trees and bushes. There was no one around him and the area was completely serene and quiet. Flippy heard nothing besides the birds chirping and flapping their wings. The green bear had tunnel vision as his soles slapped against the concrete, wondering what was at the end. Perhaps Flippy was heading for peace and tranquility. Perhaps he was heading for eternal damnation, retarding his fate by trying to save as many people as he could. All Flippy knew was that his mind was cluttered with mind-boggling phrases and events and he had no way of dealing with them. Flippy was tired of doing this, tired of dealing with his schizophrenia and all these visions of death and despair, especially if it wound up being all for nothing. Flippy even thought about offing himself just to save the others. Perhaps he could break the chain by hanging himself right now or jumping off a building. But as always, that inner voice inside Flippy's skull wouldn't let him quit…and he was cursed to continue this "adventure" until he saw it through to the end.

A leaf fluttered from its branch and fell on the ground, landing at Flippy's feet. He looked down at the green plant for a while until the wind blew it away into the lake. Flippy sighed and continued walking down the street until he saw the only person who could relate to him: his sister. Since Flippy had issues with controlling his inner demon as well as Eli, he figured his sister might have some sort of bond with his visions as well. Flippy turned to his right and saw Eli busy hammering something onto her garage door after it came out of socket. Flippy walked up to the ladder Eli was standing on and waited for her to stop hammering and turn around to see her beret-wearing brother looking up at her.

"It's getting close to Autumn." said Eli.

Flippy cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

Eli hopped off the ladder and stood in front of Flippy.

"Funny how after the first leaf falls the weather immediately changes and you can just sense a new atmosphere hanging around you."

"…Are you talking about me?"

Eli didn't answer. She just turned around and walked into her garage.

"Do you ever just wonder about our parents? I-I know you have a vivid recollection of them, but have you ever just tried thinking about something they never told us?"

"Eli our parents died when we were still cubs. How could I possibly remember any of that?"

"I don't know. I just pictured Mom having these weird visions of signs about the future that came true…and she couldn't do anything about it."

"Are you worried about me?"

"No. I'm worried for both of us. Ever since you came back from that war we barely even see each other anymore. The moment I heard about your premonition about the bridge and the moment I saw that man die, I felt what you felt. Before he even died, I felt this…chill behind me and I just knew that something bad was going to happen. I know right now that you know something bad will happen because I can still feel you."

"Eli…"

"What?"

"You feel me because you're grabbing my arm."

"But I can still feel you."

"Right...because you're grabbing my other arm."

"Shut up; I'm trying to make a point here. We both share this bond that will help us get past this epidemic alive and the only way we can beat whatever this force is, is by teaming up and working together."

"I don't understand what you're so worried about. You weren't even on that bridge."

"…I was on that train that crashed…"

"But you didn't—"

"Splendid rescued me. I-I thought you spotted me in that huge crowd but I guess not."

"But I didn't see you at the police station for interrogation!!"

"Flippy, I'm working as a mercenary. You really think it'll look good for me if the cops find out I slit an ambassador's throat for $50,000?"

"…True, the lead investigator already suspects I have something to do with the accident."

"Exactly."

"Eli if what you're saying is true, then you're on Death's list and you're gonna die unless we do something."

"Do you have any plans in mind?"

"Yeah, I was gonna go with Meth to look at the videotapes back at the bridge, see who was where when they died."

"So let's go see 'em."

"WAIT!!" shouted Eli, grabbing Flippy on his shoulder.

"What?"

"…Is Cum-Sucker the right nickname for me?"

Flippy shrugged. "You were a bit of a whore back in high-school so—"

Eli punched Flippy across the jaw, leaving a huge red mark.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"You just called me a Cum-Sucker!"

"But you are a Cum-Sucker!! How many times did you give Handy a blowjob—"

Eli threw herself into Flippy and started punching him in the face. The two siblings began to tussle and turn all over the ground fighting and squabbling with each other.

* * *

"Okay, freeze frame right there." said Flippy.

"Right here?"

"Yeah."

Flippy, Eli, Meth and a security guard were inside a local police station examining the security feed of the highway patrol cameras, trying to find any clue about the victims on the bridge.

"See, that's where you and your band died Meth."

"Well you already saved us, so we're fine for now."

"I told you, Death is working out of order. Out of everyone from the accident, Sherry died first."

"Was she supposed to?"

"No! Sherry died right…there, at the start of the bridge. She got crushed by a bunch of fallen girders AFTER Meth and his band were crushed by the pipe."

"Sherry's already dead though, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Exactly what are you guys talking about?" asked the security guard.

"It's none of your concern, just keep showing more footage."

The security guard shrugged and continued to show slide after slide of footage from the bridge, despite the fact none of it was registering to Flippy at all.

"Damnit, I know someone died after Sherry…"

"You didn't see Eiden anywhere?" asked Eli.

"No, and I didn't see him in my dream either; that's the problem!"

"Just think man! Who died after Sherry? Even if it was just one millisecond, someone had to have died after Eiden and Sherry!" said Meth.

Flippy exhaled four times and grabbed the side of the table, bending over and reminiscing about the crash as thoroughly as possible with his eyes shut. Suddenly, everything went black and Flippy heard evil laughter and saw himself in front of him. He pounced onto himself and desperately tried to stab himself in the neck. The only reason he couldn't kill himself was because of a stout green rhino who charged and tripped into him. As Flippy got up, Flippy pushed the rhino off of him and growled at him, wielding his knife. The rhino shook his head and turned around, gasping when Flippy stabbed him in the stomach with his knife. Flippy knocked the rhino down and continued to move the blade down his torso until his innards were showing, and the rhino was dead.

In reality, Flippy opened his eyes and shook his head, gasping and panting for air.

"Somethin' wrong there Flipster?" asked Meth.

"Did you see cock vore?" asked the security guard.

"WHAT!?!"

"Y'know, when a cock grabs you and stuffs you inside and you get—"

"STOP TALKING!! GOD!!!" shouted Eli, stomping out the station with Meth and Flippy.

"You know, I've never really seen cock—"

"Meth, I have a knife…"

"I'll shut up."

"While I try to burn the vision of cock vore out of my mind, what did you see Flippy?"

"I was…I jumped out of a portal and tried to kill myself. Then this huge rhino charged into me and I wound up cutting his stomach open."

Flippy snapped his fingers and swore. "Fuck. Fally's next."

"That really big clumsy rhino?"

"Yes! First Meth and his band died, then Sherry, then Fally."

"What about Eiden?"

"I don't know Eli! I didn't see him on the bridge! Why are you so focused on him anyway?"

"Because there might've been others that died you didn't see who got off the bridge!"

"Until I figure it out, we just have to find Fally…"

Flippy's voice began to trail off and he stopped talking.

"What?"

"You gotta leave me here."

"Why?" asked Meth.

"Cause in my dream…I kill Fally."

"But because you know you're going to kill him—"

"That doesn't matter; my inner demon killed him. If I flip out when I'm next to him—"

"If you flip out, I'll just whack you in the head with my guitar like the time you cut my strings."

"You're not gonna whack me in the head."

Meth acquired a guitar from nowhere and bashed it upside Flippy's head, breaking it and rendering the bear unconscious. Eli raised an eyebrow and looked at Meth.

"Where'd that guitar come from?"

"Does that really matter now?"

* * *

Lumpy was busy bolting a car to the back of a U-Haul van with Handy standing next to him, frantically looking at the sky and shuddering. Lumpy dropped a wrench and scratched his head, looking at the car that was suspended on the dolly.

"Hey Handy, where does this bolt go?"

"Just uh…just put it in that hole." said Handy softly.

"You mean this hole right—"

"Yeah, yeah, just stick it in there and screw it in."

Lumpy looked at the dolly and shrugged, before sticking the bolt into his right ear. The moose groaned slightly, but then took a screwdriver and began to screw the bolt tighter and tighter into his ear, muttering "Ow." and wincing in pain a little bit. It wasn't until Lumpy heard a loud pop that he stopped screwing and dropped the screwdriver.

"…Kay, I'm done!"

Handy wasn't witnessing any of this because he was still looking into the sky, trying to avoid any falling air conditioning units.

"Yo Handy! I'm done!!"

"What? Oh, great. Um, uh…get in the truck and we'll drive to the um…destination."

Handy began to notice Lumpy's dripping ear and pointed his stub at him.

"Is that blood coming out your ear?"

Lumpy pushed his finger into his ear and looked at how red it was. Naturally, he stuck the finger in his mouth and tasted it to see what it was.

"Nope. Just really, really bland watery ketchup."

"…Why is ketchup in your ear?"

"There isn't ketchup in my ear."

"Then why is your ear red?!"

"My ear isn't red."

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT?!?!?"

"…You got bird shit on your hard hat." said Lumpy, randomly.

Handy somehow managed to slide his hat off his head and groaned when he saw a bunch of gooey green and white colored stains all over it.

"Why would you suddenly—Fuck it. I'm not gonna argue with someone whose I.Q. is less than 60. Just get in the truck Lumpy."

The moose got in the passenger's seat whilst Handy hopped up and got into the driver's seat, shutting the door in an unexplainable way.

"…How come you can't open doors, but you can close them?" asked Lumpy.

"Does that really matter now?"

Handy bet down to the keys and grunted several times, trying to bite down and twist his head to start the truck.

"Handy, I could drive for you."

"I told you I need to figure this out myself! Ever since my last handyman died I've realized I need to do some of this stuff on my own!!"

"Even if it means losing your teeth?"

"I know what I'm doing. OW!! Damnit, I bit my tongue!"

Lumpy stuck his finger in Handy's mouth and put it in his mouth, tasting the blood that was spewing out his tongue.

"Hmm…you have bland watery ketchup in you too!!"

* * *

Fally was busy trying to fix up his car with his ex-girlfriend, Carrie resting alongside him. Carrie was a red cat with an orange belly and had a blue bow strapped onto her forehead. Like Eiden, Carrie was a grease monkey, loving her job as a repair engineer. Of course, she was always criticized for being feminine, but she always fended off the wolves by burning them with her blowtorch. Fally and Carrie were a really nice couple, but due to Fally's marijuana addiction, she decided to break up with him. That, and because Fally fell asleep on her several times while they were having sex. This wouldn't be all that bad, but when you have a rhino lying on top of you for eight hours who reeks of sweat and pot and clearly weighs 200 pounds more than you do, you're gonna get mad. So Carrie decided to call it off.

As usual, the couple wasn't having a great time. Carrie was trying to comfort Fally, but the stout rhino was busy smoking pot and blowing Carrie away. Since he wasn't high, he was cranky and grouchy all the time at practically everybody.

"Fally, please…I really am sorry!"

"No you're not!"

Fally inhaled twice in a swift motion and coughed out a ton of smoke, brushing his hand across his nose.

"See now that my girlfriend's dead, you can sit there and mock me because you still have a mate and I don't!!"

"Do you really think I'm that callous and narcissistic?"

"YES—"

Fally inhaled a thick joint until half of it turned into ash and blew away in the wind. The rhino opened up his mouth and coughed for a good twelve seconds, his eyes turning red.

"Yes you are! That's why you broke up with me in the first place!"

"That's not true! I broke up with you because you fell asleep on me when we banged! Do you know what it feels like to have 200 pounds of stone hanging over you?! And everytime you fell asleep, it was on the week you didn't shower!"

"I'm sorry! I'm lazy! I smoke pot all the time! Sherry never bitched about this! If I fell asleep on top of Sherry, she'd just lie there and kiss me!"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Besides, you know damn well my girlfriend did not die a peaceful death! She didn't die after a lustful orgasm! She didn't die with a bullet to the head! She didn't die by going to sleep and not waking up! In some sick and twisted fucked up way, a goddamn hubcap was lodged in the back of her skull! So until your boyfriend dies in some weird seemingly impossible death, do not try to show shallow sympathy for me!!"

"God you're such a—"

Suddenly, Flippy, Eli, and Meth appeared panting and wheezing, out of breath.

"You're…you're in danger Fally!" said Flippy.

"Yeah, my ex is gonna bitch me to death."

"No I'm serious! You're next on Death's list!"

"Are you…fucking serious? We are still on this shit?!"

"Fally he's serious! He saw a premonition about my death and if it hadn't been for him, I'd be dead right now!" said Meth.

"So if I'm gonna die, then what's gonna happen?"

"Um…I might kill you…" said Flippy meekly.

"That's encouraging." said Carrie flatly.

"SHUT UP!!"

Fally coughed a few more times before inhaling the last bit of his joint and flicking it down a storm drain.

"Give me one good reason why I should believe any of this bullshit."

"My bro's been right about everything else! The bridge collapsing—"

"How my death would happen!"

"The order of the people who died."

"So if Flippy here is going to kill my ex-boyfriend, why did you bring him here?"

"Err…why _did_ we bring Flippy here?" asked Meth.

"Because I'm the only one who can save you!"

"And you're gonna do that by killing me?"

"No…well maybe. I haven't thought this through yet."

Fally scoffed and turned around to work back on his car.

"Look, I don't know what other kind of B.S. is goin' on in your head, but I'm busy working here so maybe you can pester someone else. If they're lucky, maybe you'll get their girlfriend killed too." said Fally.

Carrie placed a jack underneath the car and raised it all the way, letting Fally slide under so he could fix the fuel line.

"Fally you have to listen to me—"

"I'm done talkin'. Just leave me alone."

Flippy was about to say something else when he felt an eerie chill brush across his face, practically knocking off his beret. Leaves began to blow into their faces and the war veteran knew something very bad was about to happen.

"Fally, you have to come with us!"

"I already told you: Fuck off!!"

"GODDAMNIT FALLY—"

As Flippy shouted out "Goddamnit" he pounded both of his fists onto the hood of the car. In the process, the jack snapped and the car came crashing to the ground, making Carrie yelp. Before Fally was severed in half, Eli and Meth grabbed his feet and pulled him back, saving him in the nick of time.

"WHAT THE FUCK CARRIE!! You almost crushed my head!"

"I didn't do anything! The jack just broke in half."

"Jacks just don't fall apart Carrie! How did…"

Everyone stopped yelling and looked at Flippy, who still had his fists planted on the hood. Flippy looked down and relaxed his hands, taking them off the hood and uncurling the fists.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this-this is not what it looks like…"

"See! He's telling you the truth! He just almost killed you just like in his dream!"

Fally's eyes grew wide. "Holy shit! You're right! Flippy just tried to kill me!"

Fally sighed with relief, until he realized that his best friend subconsciously tried to kill him.

"You son of a bitch! You just tried to kill me!!"

"Uh-oh." muttered Flippy.

* * *

Elsewhere, Lumpy and Handy were speeding down the road in their U-Haul truck with the dolly trailer and car behind them. Handy heard loud clattering from behind and when he looked in his side-view mirror, he noticed some chains were flailing about and bouncing on the road.

"Lumpy are you sure you put that bolt in?"

"Are you sure you have 32 teeth?"

"…I'll take that as a yes."

Unbeknown to the group, the dolly hit a bump on the road and in the process, detached from the U-Haul van. While the dolly sat on the road, lifeless and blocking traffic, many of the hooks and chains were still skidding along the road, bouncing everywhere…

* * *

Elsewhere, Fally, Flippy and Eli were fighting and bunching each other all over the sidewalk, attracting several spectators. Fally had his thick hands around the bear's neck and Eli had Fally in a choke-hold. Carrie and Meth decided not to get involved in the squabble and stood far away from them.

"And yet…he wonders why I broke up with him." sighed Carrie.

Carrie walked into the street again and slid under the car, prepping it up some more for Fally to ride. All of a sudden, the U-Haul van came speeding down the road, dragging its thick chains behind it. As Carrie was fixing the car, she felt something sharp enter her foot and looked down to see one of the hooks on the chains just jabbed itself into her foot.

"What the fu—"

Carrie shrieked when she was yanked out from underneath the car and her foot dislocated. The van and chains began to drag the cat down the street at lightning speed, grazing the skin off her back. It wasn't until Carrie screamed again that the crowd stopped staring at Fally and Flippy and turned their heads to see Carrie being dragged.

"…Where the hell's Carrie?" asked Fally, loosening his grip on Flippy.

Carrie was still screaming wildly as her skin and blood left a huge trail behind her. It felt like a blowtorch was burning her back little by little. Even worse, Carrie's tail ripped off in the confusion and went rolling down the street. Any longer and the cat's back would be completely gone, filed all the way down to the spine due to the friction. Suddenly, to Carrie's surprise, the truck sputtered and stopped next to a street sign. Carrie stopped screaming and began to cry and sob in pain, desperately trying to get back up before the truck started again. As she slowly reached for the chain in her foot, Carrie heard two honks not far away. To her horror, she cocked her head left and saw two wheels gunning for her; the U-Haul truck stopped at a four-way intersection…and the light was green. Carrie's scream was cut off as the pickup truck ran over her body, running over the legs and throat and severing Carrie into three separate parts. The truck driver wasn't fortunate either; after blood tracked on his tires, he lost control and ran straight into a stop sign. His body flew through the windshield and he cracked his skull as he flew into the pole of the sign. …Someone not even on Death's list had to die to take Fally's place, since Eli and Meth intervened.

"HEY!!! Someone spilled a bunch of ketchup on the road!" shouted Lumpy, pointing at the rear-view mirror.

Handy looked at the mirror and sighed, not paying much attention to the huge blood spill because he thought it really was ketchup.

"I'm not even gonna ask…"


	14. Replay

**Replay**

Upon finding Carrie's body splattered all over the road, not to mention the truck driver who had his neck broken against the stop sign, Flippy realized that Death was indeed coming for them. They needed to find the next survivor and they needed to find him or her fast.

"Uh, let me get this straight: You guys are saying—"

Fally yelped and fell on his stomach after he stepped on gravel and wound up tripping over his own feet. Flippy and Eloise gladly helped him back up and continued walking.

"You guys are saying that this guy Death—"

"It's not really a guy. It's more like an entity." said Flippy.

"Okay, so this entity called 'Death' is hunting for us and in order to find a way to beat it, we have to figure out the order of the people who died on the bridge."

"Basically."

"So what do we do now?"

"We gotta get back to the police station by the bridge and find out who was the next person to die."

"Why don't you just have another freaky vision like you did with Fally?" asked Eli.

"You don't understand Eli. I can't just have a vision right off the bat. If it were that easy, I would've known that Carrie would've been the next person to die."

"Right."

"Why are we heading to the train station? Can't we just drive—"

"We cannot waste any time Fally! Every second wasted means more time for Death to claim its next victim!"

"If you wanna be frank, people die every 8 seconds due to second-hand smoking."

"What the fuck does that have to do with what we're dealing with?" asked Eloise.

"I'm just saying Flippy, this might be in your head. It's not like you'll be able to save every single survivor from Death. Look at what happened to Sherry and Carrie!"

"Are you still pissed about that?!" screamed Flippy.

"I got over Sherry, but the fact that my ex is dead now is really starting to irritate me."

"Why?"

"CAUSE EVERY GIRL I'VE FUCKED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IS DEAD!!"

The war veterans grumbled and ignored the whiny rhino, as they had no time to grieve for him over his ex's death. The trio finally arrived to a train station that was located in the city. However, unlike normal train stations, this one was built all throughout town on elevated platforms, as opposed towards being underground. Several pedestrians were waiting at the station and underneath the tracks, checking the time or waiting for the train to arrive or stop at their destination. Flippy, Eloise and Fally walked up the steps, with Fally tripping over a few steps, and stood on the platform along with a set of other civilians. Flippy looked all around and took note of some of the characters he saw, many of whom were pirates. But Flippy also noticed a gray bunny standing on the platform, listening to music on her iPod. Flippy was impatient, fearful that Death would strike at any second. Occasionally, he'd look up in the sky to see if something would fall down out of nowhere and impale him in the head, like the air conditioning unit did to Eiden.

"Bro, once we find all of the survivors, what do we do with them?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead. We're just gonna have to keep 'em safe till this whole thing blows over."

"What if it doesn't blow over?" asked Fally.

"Death is like an obnoxious teenager. Once he realizes his prey isn't fearful or in danger of him anymore, he's gonna back off."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Flippy looked at his surrounding and realized he was quite familiar with several of the passengers waiting for the train to come by.

"Dad you know I don't want to go with you to the barbecue!"

"Yes you do."

"But your friend K-Zar's gonna be there!"

"So?"

"Dad you know what that means. He's gonna challenge you to a massive fart-off and you're gonna get all gassy and then you're gonna start lighting matches and so on and so forth like you always do!"

"That is not true! I don't do that all the time!"

"Dad if you're not passing gas, you're watching a movie with toilet humor in it or getting drunk."

"Only when you're not around honey. But if you go along with me, there's a chance of me staying sober!" said Spiky, smiling widely.

Flaky sighed.

"Oi! Why the 'ell are we riding in one o' these bloomin' locomotives?!" asked Jerry.

"Russell still hasn't gotten the new pirate ship mate." said Salty.

"Then how come the cap'n ain't ridin' the train along wit us?!" asked Bladz.

"Just deal wit it gator! Ya don't see me blubberin' about now do ya?!"

"I'm not a big fan of these fuckin' trains mate!"

Jerry looked over at his arm and noticed he didn't have a watch on so he decided to ask someone else for the time.

"Hey buddy, ya know what time it be?"

"Uh, yeah…it's time for you to take a bath!" said the person standing next to him.

Jerry snorted. "What, ye got a problem wit your inner odor levels?"

"What does that mean?"

"Somethin' wrong with a li'l bit a B.O. mate?"

"It's very distasteful towards other animals in this city to walk around smelling your dirty armpits!"

"OI BLADZ!!"

The green gator crept behind the animal like a snake and smiled widely before chuckling under his breath.

"You got a problem wit us bunny?"

"…Well, it'd really help if you actually brushed your teeth every once in a while—"

"Aw, c'mon! It doesn't smell that rank!"

Bladz bent over to the bunny and belched loudly in his face, fanning his malodorous breath into his nostrils and turning the bunny's face green. The gator began to laugh raucously as the bunny began to retch and cover his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting.

"And if that ain't ripe, take a gander at this!"

Jerry grabbed the bunny by the ears and began to use him as deodorant, slowly stroking his body up and down his armpit and rubbing his putrid musk onto his face. Bladz and Jerry were busy laughing their asses off as the bunny was covered in musk, which eventually lead to him vomiting all over the platform.

"Cuddles never gets a break, does he?" asked Eloise.

"Nope."

"Hey Spice, are you ever gonna get back to dating?"

"Doubtful. I haven't seen to many quality guys worth dating yet."

"What about Nutty?"

Spice and her ferret sister looked over on the train tracks and saw Nutty hopping up and down like a kangaroo as he was pouring pixy stick after pixy stick in his mouth, entering his overzealous sugar rushes.

"I dunno. Somewhere along the line I'm gonna die if I date Nutty."

"Why do you say that?"

"You ever have sex with a jackhammer?"

"EW, NO!!"

"That's basically what it'll be like with Nutty."

Shuger looked back over at Nutty, who was busy hopping up and down like he was on a jackhammer and giggling hysterically and began to understand what her sister was talking about.

"I see your point."

"…Hey Flippy, you said that Death could show you signs of accidents before they happened right?" asked Eloise.

"Yeah."

"Then what is that?"

Flippy and his sister looked forward and saw a train on the other side of the tracks. Normally, they'd think nothing of it, except for the fact that it read **TERMINAL EXPRESS.** After the train stopped and let off its passengers, it continued to rumble along the tracks.

"Huh. That's a weird name for a train company." said Fally.

"Please tell me we're not the only ones who saw that!!" shouted Flippy.

"Saw what? The sign?"

"YEAH! _TERMINAL EXPRESS_ doesn't sound even a little weird to you?"

"Why would it?"

"Do you know what terminal means?"

Fally shrugged. "Like an airport terminal?"

"Oh, forget it."

After Flippy was done talking, the platform rumbled just as a train began to roll down the tracks. The red train with yellow stripes on the front stopped at the station, setting on its brakes and slowing down to a halt. The train's doors opened up with a loud hiss and several animals stepped off the train. Simultaneously, many more began to get aboard the train, including A.J.A.X., Jerry, Spiky, Flaky, Shuger, Spice, Bladz, a nauseated Cuddles, and several other animals. Flippy was about to get on the train, but he felt something chilly brush across his face. Flippy was hesitant towards getting on the train and stood on the platform while everyone else got on.

"Maybe we should walk."

"But you said that—"

"Yeah I-I know what I said, but perhaps it'll be more efficient to walk."

"And time consuming. Didn't you say we couldn't waste any time or else Death could claim its next victim?"

"Yeah, but—"

"So get on the damn train Flippy!" said Fally.

The green bear looked left and right for any other suspicious sign, fearful that something would pop out of nowhere and impale him in the face or chest or any other body part. There was nothing out of the ordinary, besides a random crow flying above the platform. Then again, the crow itself was enough to scare Flippy from getting aboard.

"Let's go Flippy!"

Fally grabbed Flippy by the arm and dragged him into the train before the doors slammed shut and left him behind. The train activated its engines and slowly began to move along the tracks, accelerating after a few seconds before it was rushing down the tracks at full speed. Flippy and Eli sat next to each other whilst Fally took another seat further down the car. Flippy was busy sweating and hyperventilating.

"Calm down Flippy."

"I-I-I can't. There's just something really wrong with this situation Eli. The train, the crow, the wind brushing across my face."

"I'll admit the train was weird, but as far as I know, we should be fine."

"You just need to chill Flipster."

"I am chill! I'm so fuckin' calm my ass is sweating. That's how chill I am Fally!"

Elsewhere, the pirate Bladz was sitting next to Cuddles and A.J.A.X., feeling extremely uneasy about himself and shifting around uncontrollably.

"Somethin' wrong mate?" asked the wolf.

"I told ya, I don't like these bloomin' trains!"

"Why not?"

"Because—"

The gator gagged and held his mouth shut. "I get all queasy and motion sickness."

"You can stand my B.O., you can stand the foul stench of your own breath, you can stand the smell of dead sea animals on the poop deck, but you can't handle ridin' a train?!"

Bladz gagged again. "No!"

Bladz began to shift and gag a few more times as he rode the train, trying not to lose his lunch all over himself. The gator was a little sick after eating a beefy meal the other night, and it was busy soaring through his stomach and up his neck. Bladz thought about getting up, but saw the yellow bunny Cuddles sitting next to him and decided to relieve himself and have some fun at the same time. Bladz nudged the bunny on the shoulder and he turned towards the gator to look at him.

"What do you want Stink Breath—AAHH!!"

Cuddles yelped once he saw Bladz's green (well, sickly green) face. He had a hand over his mouth and his cheeks were bulging more and more each second, gradually increasing in diameter with puke. His nostrils were flaring to the point where Cuddles could see inside his nose, almost spotting a nose hair or two. The bunny gasped once he knew Bladz was about to vomit and tried to get out of his seat, but Bladz held him back so he couldn't move. And with that, the gator proceeded to vomit all over the yellow bunny, dousing his fur with rancid, putrid stomach acid full of digested chunks of food. A.J.A.X. scooted away from Bladz with his nose plugged while Cuddles simply sat down, groaning loudly as the vomit spewed all over his body. Once Bladz was done vomiting, he belched again and Cuddles caught wind of his smelly, now vomit-reeking breath. Cuddles began to get sick and his cheeks bulged a little too, inevitably causing him to puke all over the floor. Jerry and Bladz couldn't help but laugh their hides off at the bunny's misfortune.

"And you say my sense of humor's vulgar." said Spiky, who saw the vomiting.

"I stand corrected."

"Hey, Flaky?"

"What?"

Spiky giggled and extended his finger, slowly placing it right in front of his daughter's face.

"Eh? Eh?" he asked, nudging her.

"No Dad, I'm not going to pull your finger."

"Ah, c'mon! Just one little yank."

"No."

"C'mon."

"NO!"

"C'mon, Flaky, you know you wanna!"

Flaky sighed flatly and got out of her seat, walking into another car to get away from her obnoxious father.

"How much longer till we get there?" asked an anxious Flippy.

"'Bout another half-hour." said Fally.

"How much longer till the next stop?"

"Five, maybe ten minutes."

"Good. We'll get off there and then go on foot."

"For the last time, there is nothing wrong—"

Suddenly, as the gang was sitting down in their seats, the train began to rumble viciously, almost to the point where Flippy, his sister, and Fally fell to the ground. After a loud bump, Eli yelled and fell over.

"You alright?" asked Spice, helping the green bear up.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

"_Pictures in my head of the final destination…"_

Flippy's eyes grew wide and he turned to look down the train, witnessing a badger listening to Into The Void by Nine Inch Nails.

"…Eli…"

"_All lined up, all the one's that aren't allowed to stay,_

_Tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away…"_

"Did you he—"

"Yes."

"We gotta get off the train!"

Flippy rushed over to the emergency brake and yanked on it, but the train didn't want to stop. In fact it only seemed to go faster.

"DAMNIT, THIS ISN'T WORKING!!"

* * *

Elsewhere, a fairly young black and brown scaled snake was busy leaning against the streetlight whistling to himself. The snake looked down at his watch and sighed after realizing what time it was. He looked left and right to see if anyone was watching him, then slowly took out what looked like a remote. He hissed loudly and pulled out the antenna on the remote, moving his thumb over a red button.

"Larko better be paying me a lot of money for thisss." he muttered.

The snake pressed down on the button and waited until a small explosion formed on one of the support beams for the track. After the explosion occurred, the snake quickly disappeared into an alley and began to walk up a set of stairs to watch the chaos ensue. What many HTF pedestrians didn't know was that this animal was a hitsnake named Klatinavoka…and he just planted a bomb that would inevitably cause the crash of the train Flippy was riding.

* * *

As the conductor was busy traveling along the tracks, ready to stop at another station, the tracks underneath him collapsed and the train plummeted to the ground with a loud groan, killing everyone standing at the station. Klatinavoka continued to survey the crash, watching as the train began to detach and break away into several pieces. Flippy was busy holding his sister's hand and Fally was busy holding onto the silver pole for dear life as everyone around him began to scream or fall down. As the train ran along the ground collecting concrete and scratching up the road, it tipped over on its left side and started to skid along the ground. Fally fell on his back whilst Eli shrieked and fell forward with Flippy. A bus screeched out of nowhere and slammed into the caboose at full force, bending it like a twig with a loud crunch and forcing the bus to catch on fire and explode. Soon enough, more cars began to plow into the train cars, killing everyone inside or mangling their vehicles. Flaky was busy trying to keep her balance when she looked behind her and gasped loudly, watching as several passengers died when part of the tracks collapsed on top of the car, squishing all of the passengers. Flaky began to run down the car she was in, hopping over any and all obstructions that got in her way. The hedgehog actually had to duck twice: once when a car crashed and its hood slammed through the car and again when the car projected a metal pole at her head. Flaky scampered through the car and reunited with her father, who was busy hanging on to the side of the train.

"THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANNA RIDE THESE FUCKIN' TRAINS!!" screamed Bladz.

The train snapped in half and Bladz yelped once he looked behind himself and noticed that the road was speeding right past him and if he placed his foot down on the road, his foot would be filed off. The alligator began to crawl down the train (running would be impossible; he'd get sucked outside) and managed to get into the other car along with Flippy and the gang. As Bladz extended a hand towards a passenger to help him, two other larger passengers fell down and pushed him outside the train. Immediately afterwards, a truck came and splattered the alligator all over the highway, leaving nothing recognizable besides one of his hands and gallons of green blood.

"SHIT!!"

"Leave the scale-face; he's dead!" shouted A.J.A.X.

Jerry tried to get out of the train by punching through a window on the right side of the car (which was now the top) and hopped through the opening, grunting and making his way to the outside. As he got on the outside of the train, the wind was rushing through his fur and all the buildings and cars were rushing at the speed of light. It was a miracle that the trains was still crashing and gliding along the road on its side. Jerry edged his way out of the train some more until he shouted loudly and looked down, noticing he got his skin caught on pieces of the glass still stuck in the frame.

"FUCK!!!"

Jerry turned around and realized that a metal sign sticking out of a building was right in front of him and getting closer by the second. The pirate tried to move back into the train, but he was stuck and couldn't move. Jerry shrieked and waited as the sign whizzed past his body, cutting through his torso like a machete and severing his body in half, spilling his organs and stomach acid all over the train. Back inside the train, Eli, Fally and Flippy were busy trying to survive the hellacious event, hanging on for dear life and praying that the car they were in wouldn't come apart or split in half. However their fears were finally confirmed once the car carrying Shuger and Spice broke away and drifted down the street diagonally. The ferrets and remaining passengers screamed as their tipped-over car headed for a gas station. The second the car knocked over the gas tanks, a spark flew and a tremendous explosion was created, incinerating the ferrets and everyone inside the train car.

"C'MON MOVE!!" shouted Flippy.

Eli, Fally and Flippy began to crawl against the side (floor) of the train with several other animals screaming and panicking and thrashing into each other. The yellow bunny Cuddles almost fell out the train but Flippy grabbed his hand and the bunny was left with his body in one car and his head and arm in the other. As Flippy grunted and pulled him forward, a car honked its horn and slammed into the train and bent it like taffy. Cuddles was in the middle of the bending train, and the metal instantly cut through his neck, decapitating him and severing his arm off. Flippy shrieked and chucked his corpse out the train, continuing his journey through the wrecked car.

"Flippy we're running out of space! Pretty soon there's not gonna be anymore cars left!!" shouted Eli.

Flippy seriously considered jumping out of the train, but everytime he looked out the open space, he saw dozens of cars zooming by and he was prepared to take the risk of one of them running over his body. They would just have to wait for the madness to stop.

"Fuck this, I'm getting out of the train!"

"No, stay in the car Fally!"

Fally broke through one of the windows and tried to get out of the train like Jerry did, getting caught in-between the windows due to his rotund body. Suddenly, Fally looked ahead and saw a car crash and the driver came spiraling through the front windshield. Although the driver was okay when he landed on the ground, all the glass came flying at Fally, impaling him in the face and eyes and killing him instantly. Flaky and Spiky decided to bolt for the conductor's car when the car they were occupied in began to fall apart and break away. As Spiky was crawling, Fally's body fell through the window frame and right on top of Spiky.

"Dad!"

Spiky grunted twice and tried to shove the massive rhino off of him, but he was too heavy for him to chuck away. And even worse, the glass underneath Spiky was beginning to give away, cracking slowly and ready to shatter.

"DAD!!!"

The glass broke and Spiky fell through, screaming wildly as his body was quickly filed into nothing but blood and organs, all of which were crushed under the train as it continued to glide along the road. Suddenly, there was a massive screeching noise followed by a crashing noise. The crash was loud and terrifying, something that would be described as chucking pounds of metal inside of a blender while working at a saw mill. The train had just crashed into a large support beam of the suspended train tracks and crumbled up like a beer can, crushing the first car and killing everyone inside instantly. A.J.A.X. and Salty were instantly thrown into the car and wound up either breaking their necks or were mangled beyond recognition as the car crashed and crunched like it was being chewed by a giant. Flaky, sadly, was impaled in the eye when one of the bars in the train came loose and flew into the air, hitting her in the face. To add on to the injury, the tracks above the train collapsed and damaged the train even more, almost killing Eli when it practically crushed her to death. Despite everything that had happened, they were all still alive and suffered several scratches and bruises. Flippy, Eli and the mysterious gray bunny listening to her iPod were the only ones still alive. The green bears groaned loudly and slowly stood up, finding a way to get outside of the train. Eli punched through the window and hopped outside, groaning as she sat on the side of the train. Flippy grabbed the bunny and slowly dragged her to safety as well.

"Flippy—"

"Shut up and keep moving before something else happens."

The wreckage from the train left a toll of at least 69 victims, half of which were animals on the road driving their cars. There was blood, glass and metal scattered all over the road and bodies were hanging here and there. Spiky's blood trail was visible on the road, Flaky's body just fell out of the train, and somewhere in the remaining car, Nutty, A.J.A.X. and Salty's body would be found. As Flippy, Eli, and the bunny were mourning, they found a truck leaking gasoline next to the train, with a small flame lighting above the engine. Flippy saw the fire and knew he was in danger.

"C'MON!!"

The truck exploded, killing Eli and the bunny and launching Flippy into one of the support beams of the tracks. Just when Flippy thought he was safe, the car hood from the truck shot his way and aimed for his head. Flippy opened his mouth to scream, just in time for the hood to slice through his head, cutting him in half from the eyes down…

* * *

Flippy gasped loudly and began to pant, looking left and right whilst sweating. He was standing back at the platform along with his sister and Fally, perfectly safe and sound.

"You alright there Flipster?" asked Fally.

"Dad you know I don't want to go with you to the barbecue!"

"Yes you do."

"But your friend K-Zar's gonna be there!"

"So?"

"Dad you know what that means. He's gonna challenge you to a massive fart-off and you're gonna get all gassy and then you're gonna start lighting matches and so on and so forth like you always do!"

"Oh my God!" squealed Flippy, rubbing his head.

"What's wrong bro?"

"Eli look over my shoulder and tell me there isn't a smelly wolf and an alligator with halitosis tormenting Cuddles."

"No, not as far as I can…wait a second…"

Bladz bent over to the bunny and belched loudly in his face, fanning his malodorous breath into his nostrils and turning the bunny's face green. The gator began to laugh raucously as the bunny began to retch and cover his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting.

"And if that ain't ripe, take a gander at this!"

Jerry grabbed the bunny by the ears and began to use him as deodorant, slowly stroking his body up and down his armpit and rubbing his putrid musk onto his face. Bladz and Jerry were busy laughing their asses off as the bunny was covered in musk, which eventually lead to him vomiting all over the platform.

"Never mind."

Flippy got on his knees and whined, shaking so much it looked like he was going into a seizure.

"We have to get off this platform."

"Why?" asked Fally.

"THE FUCKIN' TRAIN'S GONNA CRASH!!"

Fally sighed. "Flippy…"

"This isn't a joke or a dream or some fucked up hallucination! Someone's gonna plant a bomb on the tracks and we're all gonna die; I just saw it!!"

"Wait, what bomb?" asked Shuger.

"Flippy stop overreacting. It was just a dream." said Eli.

"Yeah, stop wit all the bollocks mate! You're givin' us an ulcer!" shouted Bladz.

Flippy covered his nose and fanned Bladz's breath away before coughing a couple of times.

"Jesus Christ, do you eat rotten corpses marinated in raw sewage for breakfast?!!"

"You got a problem wit that?"

"You guys have to listen to me! THERE'S A BOMB—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't give gnat's sac about this 'bomb' you speak of. Just shut the fuck up before Bladz 'n' I smash ye skull in."

Flippy stared at the pirates coolly with a blank expression on his face and blinked a couple of times. No one was overreacting and no one was attempting to get off the platform. He was gonna have to make a scene. Flippy took out two humongous grenades and shouted out,

"I HAVE A BOMB BITCHES!!!"

Everyone began to scream and freak out as Flippy walked around with grenades in his hands and began to run off the platform. Some of the animals were Shuger, Nutty, Cuddles, Spice, A.J.A.X., Salty, Flaky and her father and a few others. Bladz and Jerry tackled Flippy and wound up spiraling down the stairs, inevitably getting off the tracks and on the ground below. Eli followed them to go support her brother whilst Fally was doing the same trying to keep the pirates off Flippy. It took the gang several minutes before they finally got off of each other. Unfortunately, Flippy couldn't save the animals still on the platform and they ended up getting on the train.

"LISTEN TO MEEE!!! THERE'S GONNA BE A CRASH!!"

"That's bullshit Flippy."

"NO IT'S NOT!! Watch; it about five seconds you're gonna hear loud metal crashing and several explosions in the distance."

The gang looked out into the horizon and stared at the train tracks from a distance. Exactly five seconds later, the hitsnake detonated his bomb and the tracks collapsed and the train began to crash. Everyone gasped and their eyes grew wide as they heard all the bloodcurdling screams.

"OOOOOHH…SHIT." said Salty, amazed at his prediction.

"See I fuckin' told you!!"

"Oh my God…another accident and another crazy war veteran saving my life? How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?" said Spiky.

"Flippy you've lost your goddamn mind."

Flippy stared at Fally. "What?"

"You lost your goddamn—"

Flippy yanked Fally by the horn and pulled him towards the ground just as a large piece of flaming debris was going to impale him in the head like Sherry. It was happening all over again…

"OK, that's just freaky."

"OOHH!! Is that that new kind of Laffy Taffy?!!" asked Nutty, running over to the debris.

"Nutty don't—"

Nutty bit down into the hot metal and started screaming and shouting as he scarred his tongue, which was now red and steaming. Suddenly, a sheet of glass came out of nowhere and decapitated one of the survivors where she stood. Everyone screamed and crawled away from the body…just in time for someone to get their head crushed by one of the train wheels. They all screamed again and began to breathe profusely.

"We should move now." said Spiky.

"Agreed."


	15. I Can't Believe It's Not Yeast!

**I Can't Believe It's Not Yeast!**

It was all happening again. Everything ranging from the premonition to the screaming animals to the frantic survivors to everyone staring at him like he was an evil wizard or some possessed bear. Cuddles, Spiky, Flaky, Jerry, all of them. They were all staring at him like he was a ghost or a zombie. Perhaps he was possessed. Perhaps the icy grip of Death had him in his clutches and had touched him overnight when he slept. …Okay so he thought that sounded like rape, but what else would explain what was happening? These visions were coming to him at random! They couldn't be. There just…there just had to be a reason for all of this. A reason for why these accidents were happening.

"Dude…"

"What the fuck just happened?!" asked Cuddles.

"Flippy just had another mental breakdown." said Spiky.

"No he didn't! You had one of those vision thingies again, right Flipster?" asked Fally.

"Hey guys." said Meth.

"Where the hell did you go!?!"

Meth looked meekly at Flippy and crunched on his churro. "I got hungry."

"So you broke away from us just to get a fried Mexican pastry?!" shouted Eli.

"Yes. I just heard the explosion and the crash and I rushed over to see what happened."

"We almost got caught up in a train crash until this war guy over here had some weird vision of the train crashing!" said Shuger.

"Do any of you guy even bother to say, 'Thank you' at least one time?!"

"Thank you." said the gray bunny.

Flippy looked over to the random bunny, shocked to see that there was actually one person out there who showed a little compassion and chivalry to someone who just helped her save her life.

"But seriously…do you have schizophrenia or something?"

Flippy had a brief vision of his evil side laughing in his face before the image went away and he shook his head.

"Not exactly…"

"So let me get this straight: you can see visions of graphic accidents that occur all over the world, like some freaky psychic?" asked Spice.

"No, no it's not like that. I had…do you guys remember that animal who saw a vision of the theater he was in collapsing and when he freaked out and got his friends outside the building, it collapsed just like he saw?"

"Yeah, I remember that conversation back at the police station."

"Let's just say we're going through the same situation as that guy."

* * *

"So you were the one who placed the bomb on the train tracks?"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!" shouted Flippy.

"You didn't deny it either." said Wyger.

"Okay so, what you're saying is that my brother conspired with terrorists to plant a bomb on a set of train tracks and he himself went over to the rails and did so, went all the way back to the platform with me and Fally and somehow, while we were at the scene of Carrie's death Flippy had a vision of the train derailing and while he was freaking out he secretly detonated the bomb and killed everyone on board except for the people who got off." said Eloise, without taking a single breath.

"Anything to add?"

"Well when you put it that way…" said Wyger's partner meekly.

"Doesn't it seem odd to you guys that Flippy is available at every scene of the crime where an animal suddenly dies in a bizarre accident? Creolz, Carrie, the bridge accident, and now this." said one of the officers at the scene.

"There's one thing I know about cops and it's that many of you guys tend to find a scapegoat whenever you can. I don't know this guy Flippy but from what I can tell he doesn't sound like the guy who caused this." said the gray bunny in black.

"How did you get your tongue burned?"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS TAFFY!!!" whined Nutty.

The officer interrogating Nutty held up a freezer bag containing the metal shard of plastic that used to be on fire. The bear looked down at the item and stared at Nutty for a few seconds.

"You thought this was a piece of taffy?"

"YES!!"

The officer sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. "What's your I.Q. level again?"

"So we was gonna go an' get on board this bloody train cause our pirate ship got eaten by a bloomin' monster an' that ursine freaked out an' said the train was gonna crash! Not that I care; I hate the fuckin' locomotives." said Bladz.

"So you caused the crash?"

"I didn't say that!!"

"But you didn't deny it."

"I didn't say it!!"

"…But you didn't deny it."

"Listen landlubber, you're not gonna stand there an' accuse me of a bloody train crash I didn't even wanna ride in da first place, you got that?"

The cop backed away from the oversized reptile. "Uh, yeah, yeah. I got it."

"After all the shite we been through why the fuck do ya think I had somethin' ta do with the train—"

"Y'know that's enough for now." said the officer as he walked away.

Bladz exhaled loudly and rubbed his head, trying to figure out what happened.

"What the 'ell was that?"

"Bladz there's a very good invention called a toothbrush…" said Jerry.

"This is the second time this has happened now. I guess I should be grateful but for some reason there's this twitch in the back of my neck telling me to be pissed off at someone. Then again it could just be more gas in my colon; I'm not sure."

"Gas?"

"My-my father is a…a big fan of toilet humor…"

"So why are you cowering behind his buttocks?"

"She gets scared easily. Remember the time someone splashed steaming hot coffee in your face?"

Flaky yelped and jumped on top of Spiky's head, still shaking with her teeth chattering.

"This is what I'm talking about."

"So if a situation should arise where I erratically fire my gun into the air…"

"How come you guys think I'm the source behind all these accidents and mishaps going on in this city?" asked Flippy.

"A homicidal bear who just came back from war who's been treated for anxiety and schizophrenia on multiple occasions? Not to mention that your sister is a freelancing mercenary." said Wyger.

"I'm just saying there are other animals out there. Y'know, perhaps terrorists? Animals who have been trying to strike a blow back at this city?"

"We're not saying you planted the bombs—"

"Yes you are!"

"Okay we are, but since we have no proof of it and can't waterboard you in public, we don't have anymore leads."

"What about that Russian snake, Klatinavoka?" asked Wyger's partner.

"The guy's in Bolivia right now. What would he be doing in HTF central?"

"Blowing up a train."

"…That's just a rumor."

"It could be a very valid rumor boss."

"Well until we find out more, Flippy, you're the primary suspect on both accidents."

"Which means we're gonna be watching your ass like—"

Someone fired off three shots and Flaky shrieked at the top of her lungs, hopping all over her father's head like a wild bunny.

"…Watching your ass like a hawk."

"Maybe you should focus more on that snake guy, dont'cha think?" suggested Fally.

"We'll do what we feel is necessary."

* * *

After the interrogation at the crash site, Handy was busy driving a bus down the street to take the survivors home. Eloise had broken away from the group to go do her own errands while Cuddles, Nutty, the pirates, and a few other survivors wound up splitting away from the group as well. The animals inside the bus right now were Spiky, his daughter, Flippy, Meth, K-Zar, and Rhyme and Mime. Like always, Rhyme and Mime needed a ride to their house. Flippy figured he needed to keep an eye on a couple of the survivors. Meth needed a ride over to his band's house. Spiky saw his buddy on board the bus and wanted to have a nice chat with him so he quickly got aboard along with his daughter and began to talk.

"Exactly how are you driving again?" asked Meth.

Handy looked down at his little stubs and grumbled to himself.

"It's complicated."

"All right guys have any one of you seen anything suspicious or out of the ordinary?"

"Other than Spiky's foot odor?"

"HEY!!"

"Actually that's normal. I mean, y'know, anything freaky or weird? Like a disembodied figure of a skull, an eerie shadow brushing across the ground, an icy chill going down your spine?" asked Meth.

"Not that I recall." said Rhyme.

"Eli told me she felt something cold on her hand the day that my partner died."

"You mean Eiden?"

"Yeah. Not to mention the way he died wasn't exactly…natural."

"What do you mean?" asked K-Zar.

"Since when do you hear about a deer who got shredded by a fallen A/C unit?"

Mime mimed out a weird set of movements that ultimately ended with him pulling off a dramatic reaction of someone getting shot in the chest and dying. Mime stuck out his tongue with his eyes replaced with Xs and he silently fell to the floor, pretending to be dead.

"Oh yeah, that guy got impaled in the chest with a dislodged pole; I remember that!" said Rhyme.

"What guy?" asked Spiky.

"One of the survivors of that theater collapse a couple of months back."

"What's the bottom line Flippy?" asked Flaky meekly.

"We're all in danger, just like the animals who got out that theater. And now with that bombing we survived—"

"I wasn't even on that train that crashed today!" shouted K-Zar.

"Neither was I." said Meth.

"Same here." said Handy.

"But you were all on that bridge that I saw collapsing!"

"…Oh…"

"Yeah, 'oh' Spiky."

"So we were all supposed to die on that bridge when it collapsed but since you intervened and said the whole damn place was gonna collapse—"

"We basically cheated our way out of Death, or something?" asked Rhyme.

"Yeah, we did, and he's pissed."

"Pissed at you or pissed at all of us Meth?"

"Guys, my entire band almost died in bizarre accidents! Hell, one of them _did_ die; remember my drummer Creolz? The guy with a spiked mail-box?"

"Yeah."

"Did you hear he got beheaded from the mouth up?"

"Shit, your drummer's dead?"

"And then my partner Eiden is shredded by a fallen A/C unit, Fally's ex is run over by a truck, and then this entire train crash happens in a vision Flippy saw? That is a big fuckin' coincidence." said Handy.

"But that was a terrorist attack." Flaky pointed out.

"Nevertheless, I'm sure that was a ploy that Death concocted. It is eerie that a bunch of the animals who were supposed to die in that bridge collapsing were also gonna go on that train." said Flippy.

"So what do we do?"

"Avoid anything that looks dangerous. Look both ways four times when you cross the street. Don't leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary, don't go to work, don't go to your friend's house, don't go anywhere that looks potentially dangerous. No random warehouses, no swimming pools, no factories, nothing!" said Flippy.

"So you want us to put our social lives on hold and sit at home like an egg waiting to crack?"

"If it'll keep you guys outta danger, yes. Like Meth said, his whole band almost died, and they were inside their own garage when it happened."

Flaky started shifting back and forth, whimpering and trying to keep herself calm. It obviously wasn't working.

"What about my job?"

"Yeah, and my band?"

"Handy call in sick, Meth…well, technically I already saved you so…I think you're okay."

"Sweet! I am SO getting laid tonight then!"

"I got a job too Flipster."

"Call in sick then. I'm sure everyone at your job would be happy not to smell your grimy soles for a few days."

"Stop ripping on my stinky feet already!"

"Well who else are we gonna rip on?"

"Flippy and his mentality."

"Until one of you guys gets tangled with Death and have your life saved by Flippy, frankly you shouldn't be saying anything about the guy. Bottom line: we need to be safe."

"Whatever you say Meth."

Everything abruptly went silent for a while and no one said anything. They all either looked out the window and got lost on the dark red sky gradually getting darker or stared at the asphalt quickly going by as the bus drove forward. No one bothered to look at each other; they all just shifted around uncomfortably in their seats or tried to get some sleep on the way back home. They didn't know what to do. If what Flippy was saying was true and Death was picking off the survivors one-by-one, then that meant the world was indeed going to end, and soon enough all of them would be dead. Over 350 animals had died in the last couple of days, including Ryley and Moss, not to mention Fally's girlfriend Sherry. And of course, Meth's drummer Creolz, Handy's partner Eiden, and Fally's ex-girlfriend Carrie. Maybe Flippy was right. Maybe all of them were on Death's list. But if Meth and his guitar players managed to elude Death, perhaps all of them could too. All they had to do was be careful…unless they had a seizure in their sleep and bit off their tongue and bled to death. Or maybe…well, they could think about it later. Right now, all of them needed to relax.

But as always, Spiky couldn't relax. As he was sitting next to his primate friend, his stomach began to burble and chug. The porcupine could feel his lower intestines tightening as the gas was going through his rectum and he decided to play a little game with his friend. He smiled slyly before leaning over to the side and ripping a very loud fart in K-Zar's direction. The orangutan got a good whiff of the gas expulsion and started laughing hysterically, almost falling on the floor of the bus.

"DAD!!" exclaimed Flaky, plugging her nose.

Everyone in the bus groaned loudly or plugged their nose while Spiky stood on the bus, bent over with his butt in his friend's face, and gave him another foul supplement of gas. K-Zar ignored the smell and merely took this as a challenge.

"Oh, so it's like that quill-face?"

"Yes it is. Wanna see who's got stronger gas?"

"YOU'RE ON!!"

"Son of a bitch—everyone hold your snouts!!" warned Handy.

"You don't have hands."

"SHUT UP!!"

Everyone, excluding Handy held their noses shut as Spiky and K-Zar began to pass wind and quickly stink up the bus with their foul flatulence. And with each fart that penetrated the air, a roar of laughter would be coming out of the porcupine or orangutan's mouth. Spiky pulled his own finger and ripped a huge fart from his rear before K-Zar struck back at him by turning around and blasting strong wind in his face, one strong enough to knock him backwards and fall to the floor. And there wasn't anything anyone could do, short of sitting in their seats with their shirts over their nose or their noses clamped shut with their hands.

"This is so gross." mumbled Meth.

Everyone was so busy trying to avoid the smell, even going as far as opening all the windows on the bus that no one even noticed that Rhyme was softly chuckling to himself. The green deer wasn't a big fan of toilet humor, but hey, when else are you gonna find a porcupine and a monkey farting at each other back and forth and laughing like hyenas? He had to admit, seeing the two rip farts in each others' faces was very humorous, especially because both of them were grown men who were acting like fifteen-year-old boys at a sleepover who ate too many beans. It wasn't until he looked over at his silent cousin that he saw how green his face was and that he looked a little car sick.

"You okay Mime?"

The deer in the striped shirt responded by holding his mouth with bulging cheeks, pretending like he was about to throw up. Only, he really was about to throw up.

"Damn—he could you guys quit farting for a couple of seconds?! My cousin's getting car-sick!"

"But he's a mime. If he gets sick he'll only let out pretend vomit."

"No, it's real vomit; it just doesn't make any sound, at least not until it splashes on the ground."

"Then just tell him to vomit out the window!" shouted Spiky.

"So stop farting!"

"Mime don't you dare throw up on this bus! You know how long it took me to clean it out this bus when someone thought it'd be funny to pee in the aisle?"

Spiky giggled softly. "Hey K-Zar, watch this."

Spiky creeped behind Mime silently while he was swaying back and forth and turned around. He pointed his ass in the cervine's direction and blasted a horrid amount of gas in his direction. Even though Mime wasn't facing Spiky's butt and didn't have his nose around his perimeter, he could still feel the heat blasting him from behind and it didn't take long before the gas got into his nostrils. Spiky quickly moved away from Mime as his cheeks grew big like cantaloupes and, with nothing to stop him, he vomited all over the aisle. It was silent at first, but when everyone heard water and acid splattering on the floor, they all turned towards Mime and saw him vomiting inaudibly, compelling all of them to scoot away from him and groan loudly.

"Goddamnit Mime!"

Handy stopped the bus and screeched it to a halt, opening the door so he could let Mime outside to vomit on the ground. Rhyme quickly followed him out to ensure he was okay, along with everyone else in the bus, since they couldn't tolerate the rotten odor of Spiky and K-Zar's farts. Handy looked over at the stinky bus with a grimy floor and shouted loudly.

"I have to clean that whole damn bus, _again_."

"Dude that has gotta be the funniest thing I've seen in my life!"

"You made a deer vomit from your farts!!"

Rhyme growled gutturally and the other side of his persona began to come out into existence. His eyes turned into a different color and his teeth suddenly became sharp and pointy like razors or a nice set of claws. The green deer ran over to Spiky and, without batting an eye or hesitating, kicked him in the baby-maker. Spiky grunted with dilated pupils before the deer raised his leg and kicked him in the groin again. The porcupine dropped to the ground coughing violently before he whined once the deer kicked him in the balls again. And again. And…again. …And again, until Rhyme heard something crack and he suddenly snapped out of his little angry trance. Rhyme looked down at the gravely wounded porcupine who was coughing violently and whining with his hands covering his scrotum before he started talking to him.

"If you ever do anything like this to my cousin again, I'm gonna chop you up into so many pieces the goddamn morgue won't be able to recognize your body." he vowed.

Spiky only replied by whining loudly again and painfully shaking his head up and down. However, Flippy took the comment as a literal sign from Death. What if Rhyme wasn't the one who chopped Spiky to pieces? What if some other entity chopped up the prickly animal in some freak accident? He could fall into machinery or get sucked underneath a lawnmower or get shredded by a plane or a wood chipper even. Flippy couldn't take that chance of losing another animal after all that's happened. He needed to protect Spiky no matter what.

"Hey Flaky…you don't mind if I spend time at your house right?"

"That depends. Are you gonna go on a massive killing—"

"I told you, the other side of me has been done with forever. _He_ is not coming out ever again…hopefully."

"Then sure, you can spend some time."

In the midst of the conversation Rhyme's cellphone began to ring. The deer naturally picked it up and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Rhyme, when can you and your cousin and Handy get over here?" asked Nappy.

"Why?"

"Cause the dough mixer in the pastry factory broke down again and I need someone here to fix it."

"Then why don't you repair it with some special chewable gum like last time?"

"…Funny you should mention that; I think that's how it broke in the first place."

"Awesome. And no, we can't."

"I'll give you guys free Danishes!"

"My cousin just puked all over his shirt. I don't think he wants to eat now."

"I'll give him free Ginger Ale!"

Rhyme sighed and rubbed his forehead. "As long as I get as many doughnuts as I want."

"Done!"

Rhyme clamped his phone shut. "Hey Mime! We're gonna go fix a break maker and eats doughnuts!!"

Mime miraculously recovered from his motion sickness and sprang to life with a wide smile on his face, as though he was never sick at all.

* * *

A few hours later, Handy, Rhyme and Mime were inside of a massive abandoned pastry factory. Everything about it looked like a normal warehouse or factory that had recently been shut down. It was amazing that only a few hours ago, the whole place was abundant with HTF workers of all shapes and sizes, catering meals and making pastries to ship out to town and squirting cream and jelly on everything. Now the whole place seemed barren and deathly quiet, like a ghost town or graveyard. There wasn't any noise minus the air conditioning blowing and a couple of generators or engines running. It was just two deer and a handless beaver…and that cat who thought food was the solution to everything. If Nappy could, he'd disarm a nuclear bomb with apple seeds…and it'd work. The three animals walked over to a giant dough mixer with some flour splashed on the side of it and saw a ladder leading up to the top.

"That's a big-ass dough mixer." said Rhyme.

"No kidding. You could chop up an elephant in that."

"It's not that…well, maybe you could."

Mime shook his head and put two fingers on the palm of his other hand, twirling them around and demonstrating how the dough mixer would twirl around and chop or mix something up.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"OK Nappy, what is it you wanted us to do again?" asked Handy.

"We gotta go in the dough mixer and clean it out."

Handy's eyes grew wide. "You want us to go IN the dough mixer?!!"

"I thought you said it broke?" asked Rhyme.

"Yeah, cause it hasn't been cleaned lately."

"Again, you want us to go IN the dough mixer?"

"It's not that hard. All we gotta do is spray it down and wash it out very thoroughly."

"You can't just go inside and spray it down with bug spray?"

"That'll poison the mixer genius. So who wants to go first?"

Everyone looked at the other with anticipation, hoping the other animal would raise his hand first to go inside. It wasn't oblivious to the cat that none of the animals wanted to volunteer to go inside, especially since the mixer was malfunctioning like crazy.

"I'll give the first guy free donuts."

"ME!!" shouted Rhyme, quickly scurrying up the ladder into the dough mixer.

"Just be careful; the mixer's been acting funny."

"How funny?"

As Rhyme began to take a step inside the mixer, it abruptly turned on at random and began to spin and twirl, nearly taking off Rhyme's leg if he hadn't been jerked it up at the last second. He stood on the ladder waiting for the mixer to stop twirling and looked over at Nappy, panting heavily and shaking.

"That's not funny! I almost lost my goddamn leg!!"

"I don't know what the problem is. The mixer just keeps turning on at random. I was in there when it turned on once!"

"So how come you're not cat food?"

"It shut off the second it got near my head. Look, I'll watch over while you clean it out, but if you hear any form of clanging or humming get your ass outta there, cause you're gonna get shredded if you don't."

"Gotcha."

Rhyme turned around and put one foot into the mixer before grunting and hopping down to the floor of the mixer. Rhyme quickly turned around and quivered once he saw the giant blades nearly pointing in his face and looked up to see Nappy handing the deer a bucket full of cleaning fluids and a mop to wash the mixer out with. Rhyme didn't want to even hear the details of how to clean the mixer; he just slapped his mop inside the bucket and started washing the inside of it as quickly as possible.

"You seem very fidgety tonight Rhyme."

"Because of what Flippy said about Death and all the stuff that's been happening in the past few days! He's been talking about a design and animals dying because we've cheated Death and now he's pissed at the survivors and ready to claim the victims who were originally supposed to die."

"Sounds creepy."

"And now you're saying the mixer is malfunctioning and almost chopped you up?"

"Pretty much yeah."

Rhyme sighed and rubbed his head. "Alright this thing isn't that dirty anyway and I already wiped up most of it, so let's just clean it up after someone inspects it and fixes it alright?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised at how fast you cleaned this out."

As Rhyme began to climb out of the mixer, he slipped on some of the cleaning fluids and shouted when he fell flat on his back, losing the bandanna that was wrapped around his head. The green deer looked up and saw Mime waving his arms with his mouth open, as though he were shouting as Rhyme for help.

"What—"

Rhyme screamed once the blades turned on and nearly chopped his body to pieces. However, just as it was about to hit his face, the blades hummed deeply and a loud clank was heard, as though something had jammed the mechanisms. Rhyme looked forward and panicked before he hopped on the top of the blades and jumped on the top of the mixer, panting and hyperventilating quickly as he threw himself out of the dough mixer and onto the floor.

"SEE!?! That's what I'm talking about; Death is coming after us!"

"…Shit dude."

"This is why from now on we have to be more careful and watch ourselves before the Grim Reaper bites us in the ass!"

"That's gross. A skeleton biting me in the ass?"

"Handy I was—"

Rhyme huffed and rubbed his head. "Everyone just be careful alright?"

"Gotcha. So who wants a doughnut?"

"After everything that happened you wanna eat a doughnut? We almost died Nappy!"

"Yeah…and to celebrate we can eat doughnuts."

"I am pretty hungry right now…"

Mime raised his nose into the air and rubbed his belly as the scent of pastries and doughnuts went inside his nostrils and satisfied his olfaction sense. Rhyme caught the doughnut Nappy tossed to him before the cat handed one over to Rhyme's cousin and the orange amputee beaver. Nappy opened his mouth wide and took a bite of the doughnut filled with butter cream, slamming some of the hot creamy goo onto the floor. Rhyme was about to take a bite out of his own pastry when he noticed his head felt colder than usual. While he was in the mixer, he forgot that he lost his bandanna trying to run out for cover. And it just so happened that the bandanna that Rhyme wore was one of his lucky ones.

"Hey Handy, could you get back in the mixer and grab my bandanna?"

"After what just happened to you and Nappy?"

"If Death can't take out me or Nappy on the same day, I seriously doubt he'll catch you off guard either. Just get in, get out, and snack on some doughnuts."

"Whatever you say."

And so, Handy slowly climbed up the ladder (he had no railing to hold onto so he had less balance) and when he reached in the top, he hesitated and looked into the mixer to make sure the blades weren't ready to start spinning. After he was confident he was safe, he hopped inside and grabbed the bandanna with his teeth, groaning as he got the taste of Rhyme's sweat on his tongue. The beaver jerked his head up and spat the bandanna over the side of the mixer, where Rhyme picked up the head accessory from the ground.

"When was the last time you washed that thing?!" asked Handy.

"I forgot. Just be lucky that—"

As Rhyme was walking over to the ladder to help Handy get out, he slipped on the butter cream that splattered from Nappy's doughnut and he fell forward, landing on the control panel that operated the dough mixer. Perhaps if Nappy yanked out the plug and wires that operated the mixer, then Rhyme wouldn't have turned it on when he fell on the panel. The blades began to activate erratically and Handy screamed as the metal mixers began to twirl and came in his direction. The beaver only managed to scream for three seconds before it stopped abruptly and nothing was heard but loud rumbling, whirling, and squishing. Rhyme quickly got off the panel and looked down to see he just landed on the green "ON" switch.

"OH SHIT!!"

The deer turned off the mixer and waited for the machine to shut off before he warily walked over to the ladder and began to step on the rungs.

"Hey Handy?"

Handy didn't respond.

"Handy?"

Still no response. Rhyme frowned and began to assume the worse.

"Nappy go call 911!"

The cat ran off to an area with a better reception and dialed for an ambulance to come over to the bakery. Rhyme looked inside the mixer and recoiled almost instantly, retching and trying to prevent himself from emptying his stomach contents on the dead body. Handy...well, what was left of him, was spread all over the mixer. There was absolutely nothing that could be identified inside the mixer. The heart was nowhere to be found, no kidneys, no pancreas, no diaphragm, no liver, nothing. Just a shitload of torn up flesh and blood, all of which was mixed with orange fur. All Rhyme could make out was the beaver's hard-hat, which looked like it had been put inside a blender and was currently lying under a colossal amount of blood and the fecal matter that had been resting in Handy's colon. Rhyme looked down when he felt his cousin nudge him on the side and before he knew it, Mime was on the top rung, looking at Handy's remains as well.

"Uh, Mime—"

He didn't even have time to push him off the ladder or pull his antlers back before Mime inaudibly vomited all over Handy's corpse, coating the red and pink innards with dark yellow and green chunks of bile. Rhyme sighed heavily and shook his head.

"Mime, I think we hit a new low…you just barfed on the remains of a corpse."


End file.
